Fire & Steel
by LittleCuddleMunkie
Summary: Veronica is Candor-born, but she's always known her true place was in Dauntless, which her aptitude test confirmed very clearly. So when she transfers into her new faction, she thinks she's going to fit in just fine. That is, until she gets the taste of danger she's always craved- in the form of a young Dauntless leader named Eric. (Eric/OFC. No war. No Tris.)
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything from Divergent. It's world and characters belong to Veronica Roth. But all the OC's I introduce in this stroy are of my own imagination and brought into the world with love and appreciation for such an incredible concept for a futuristic society._

_**A/N:** This follows a little closer to the movies than the books since I have actually still yet to read them. That means that Dependents take their Aptitude Test and choose their Factions at age 18 instead of 16. It has been two years since Eric and Four went through their initiation into Dauntless, making them both 20 years old. Eric has been a Dauntless leader for a year now, and has earned quite a reputation in that time. There is no Tris and no Erudite conspiracy in this one, folks. Just a lot of angsty fun!_

_Anyway, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

"If you're worried that your father and I will be angry you're going to transfer, you shouldn't be."

The voice coming from the doorway startled me, violently jerking me out of my own thoughts as I studied my reflection in the full-length mirror on my bedroom wall. I had been fiddling with the hem of my white jacket, a stark contrast to the otherwise solid black ensemble I had chosen to wear today. I turned my head and watched my mother cross the distance between us so she could wrap her slender arms around my shoulders. I hugged her back, my breath ruffling her dark brown hair. Inside, my stomach still squirmed and twisted itself into knots, even when she pulled back and placed her hands on the sides of my face to smile warmly at me.

"We know you're choosing Dauntless today, Veronica. We know it's where your heart truly wants to be. It's why we agreed to let you get a head start in your training to pass your initiation. So, please, my little one, don't for one second think we're anything but supportive in your decision."

My mother. Bless her. So many parents push their children to choose the faction they were born in. So many are heartbroken or angry when they don't. But not my parents. They've always supported me, never held back their true feelings from me. I suppose part of it was because we're Candor, and everyone knows Candor are always truthful. But I've always known the other part was because they're my parents. So I never lied to them, and I always trusted them to never lie to me.

"Thank you," I whispered, trying so hard to fight the tears that were coming. I would miss my parents dearly. That was undeniable. But I was excited to start my new life in Dauntless. To be where I knew I belonged. "I'll make you both proud of me. I promise."

"Oh, little one," my mother sighed through the smile she still wore, tucking a dark cur behind my ear. "We're already proud of you. You knew where you belonged before anyone your age did. And you made a sound case when you came to your father and I. We've always been proud of you, Veronica."

My smile became more confident at that. My posture straightened proudly once more. I was so lucky to have parents like mine. No. To have _had_ parents like mine, I mentally corrected myself. Because in just an hour, they wouldn't be my parents anymore. To the rest of the population, they would just be members of a faction that wasn't my own. Because I would be Dauntless instead of Candor. But in my heart, they would always be my parents. And I would always do my best to make sure they stayed proud of their Dauntless daughter.

* * *

The ceremony had went smoothly enough. I watched others make their choices, and when my name was called, my parents stood with me, each hugging me and whispering their assurance of love and pride before I descended the steps of the seating area and made my way up to the podium. I didn't hesitate to take the silver blade laid out on the white napkin in front of the bowls representing the factions and make a small cut into the meaty part of my palm. I reveled in the sense of pride and joy as I held my hand over the red coals of the Dauntless bowl, and my heart swelled nearly to the point of bursting when the Dauntless crowd erupted in cheers as the host called out my new faction. I looked back at my parents as I moved to go join the rowdy mass. Unlike a lot of people I saw whispering in shock or disapproval, they smiled and clapped in approval.

When the ceremony was over, we all rushed out of the building. Even I couldn't help whooping as I ran with the other initiates of my few faction. I was pretty sure I took several Dauntless-born by surprise when I passed them on the way to the rail supports for the train line and started up the steel framework without questioning why. Sure they were supposed to be a sort of family to me now, but I wasn't here to play around. I was here to prove I had chosen the right place for me to be.

So when the ones to the right of me started running as soon as the train came into view, I started running, too. Three Dauntless-born jumped inside ahead of me. After I followed suit and received my congratulations from the others, I had to quickly leap to my feet to avoid getting rolled on top of my another initiate- a surprisingly stout Amity boy with blonde hair I had yet to learn the name of. I kept tabs of the others as they boarded the train. It seemed as if all of the other initiates had mustered up the courage to get on the train. Unfortunately, when we reached the building we had to jump to from the train, three chose not to out of fear. Now they had to wait until the train stopped to get off. And they would live the rest of their lives as Factionless.

My landing wasn't exactly graceful, I had to admit. I took a running leap just like everyone else, even managed to tuck and roll as I hit the gravel on the rooftop. But I'd scraped my palms on the sharp rocks and my jacket was now smudged with dark dirt. Not that I cared much. This was the last time I'd ever wear my Candor clothes. After today, it was all Dauntless uniform for me. Laughing from the adrenaline rush of the afternoon, I quickly slipped the elastic band off my wrist and pulled my dark curls back into a high ponytail as the Amity boy landed in a head of limbs and flying rocks beside me. That only made me laugh harder, and after the fear left his eyes when he looked up, he started laughing with me.

"INITIATES! GATHER UP!"

A loud voice broke through the scattered cheering and laughing, drawing everyone's attention the the other side of the roof where a guy was standing on the far ledge with a few other Dauntless members standing below him on his sides. I reached my hand out to the Amity boy, and we pulled each other up in a clean, swift movement. I flashed him a grin as surprise took over his face at how much stouter I was than I looked. It was nice to see that my early training was paying off so quickly. He looked like he was about to say something, probably to introduce himself, but they guy perched up on the edge of the building continued his little speech as if he owned the place.

"I'm Eric," the deep voice boomed again. "I'm one of your leaders here at Dauntless."

Well, shit. He pretty much did own the place. My attention snapped up to him immediately. Tall, broad shouldered with short blonde hair, gauged ears, two black stones over his right eyebrow, and tattoos on each side of his neck that went down passed the collar of his black shirt. He looked very intimidating, and also just a touch on the hot side of the spectrum. If you found intimidating sexy. Which I learned in that very moment that I was apparently one of those people who did. _Shit._

"If you want to enter Dauntless, this is the way in. And if you don't have the guts to jump, then you don't belong with us."

Transfers started looking at each other like this guy was insane. Dauntless-born just grinned and nudged each other with their elbows. But no one said a word. Eric apparently took this as a sign that we'd all jump. He folded his arms across his chest, making himself look even more intimidating. My mouth watered at the sight and I had to force myself to look away from him. This was not going to be as easy as I thought if I was going to be getting distracted by one of my leaders every time I saw him.

"So... Who's first?"

Now everyone started to look around, quietly waiting for the first idiot to volunteer. And if I had only thought that Eric's face looked cold and intimidating before, I was quickly shown a new level when no one immediately spoke up. I swear I even heard a growl rumble in his throat as he shifted his weight onto one leg.

"Really? No one? So you all want to be Factionless, then?"

The competitive spark I'd always felt inside lit up. It was time to make an impression. I stepped forward, slipping between two Dauntless-born. My voice didn't waver despite the flips my stomach had started to do. It honestly shocked me just as much as the others. A couple of the guys standing beside Eric even looked slightly impressed.

"I'll do it."

Someone patted my back as I passed by. A few clapped. A couple popped off with words of encouragement and support. I yanked off my dirty white jacket and tossed it to the side as I approached the ledge and Eric hopped down. Catching his face as I stepped beside him, I thought I saw a bit of softening in his features for a split second. I peered over the ledge. There was a giant hole in the roof of the building below, plenty of room for someone to fall through. I couldn't see into the darkness of the hole, but something told me that these guys wouldn't be making their own initiates jump to their deaths on day one.

I heard Eric huff quietly beside me as I climbed up on the ledge. He was clearly annoyed by how long this whole process was taking. But honestly, telling people to do something without giving them all the information on the subject was pretty nerve-wracking. My stomach was still in knots from the mere mention of having to jump, and now that I'd seen what I was jumping into, it hadn't gotten better. But I wasn't about to let this stop me. So I jumped, twisting my body at the last second so that everyone could see the grin on my face as I disappeared over the ledge with my arms spread wide like I was about to take off flying.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N:** Yep! Two chapters in one day! Hopefully the writing bug keeps biting so I can pump out more quickly for everyone. :)  
_

_As always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

"I still can't believe you jumped first," the Amity boy- Gabe, I'd come to find out- gushed as he sat across from me at dinner later that evening. "Ronnie, you're the most _awesome_ girl I've ever met, I _swear_."

I laughed as his sentiments were echoed by a few others around us. I grinned, but I knew my cheeks were starting to flush from the compliments. Apparently being first jumper impressed people a lot more than I'd thought it would. Even people who hadn't been there were giving me high-fives and raving about my stunt.

"I just wanted to see what everyone was so scared of," I replied before taking a bite of my burger. That got a fairly loud round of laughter going. I had to admit that this was fun. The tour around the place had went easy enough. There were nine initiates that had transferred in and made it all the way down to the net at the bottom of the hole, so the group wasn't too large. And after we'd gotten over the initial shock of having to share sleeping quarters and a bathroom, we'd picked our bunks and gotten dressed before heading to the mess hall for food and interaction with our fellow faction members. Definitely a nice perk to the day.

"Okay, okay," Gabe said after the laughs died down a bit. "You're a Candor-"

"_Was_ a Candor," I corrected gently.

"Okay, you _were_ a Candor. But on the roof... How did you help me up like that. I'm not little. I've been working the farms in Amity all my life, obviously. But you... You're not as..."

"Delicate as a girl like me should be?" I finished his sentence before taking a drink of water from my metal cup. I couldn't help the little giggle that bubbled up from my chest. "Actually, I've known that I was going to transfer to Dauntless for a while now. So, my parents decided to let me get a little jump start on my training for the initiation."

"You're spilling secrets, Ronnie," piped up a voice I knew well from a couple seats down from me. Alex, who had lived about two blocks away from me my whole life, had decided to choose Dauntless, too. It hadn't surprised me, actually. We were similar in many ways. We both knew back when we were twelve that we both wanted to be Dauntless instead of Candor. We both had the fire in us to prove ourselves here. He was definitely going to be competition for the rankings, but I knew deep down that he was a good friend and wouldn't turn on me here.

"Yeah, well, you know how Candor is, Alex," I ribbed back. "We tell the truth. Not like it was going to stay a secret long anyway. Did you even look at our workout clothes? Or regular ones for that matter. Everything fits like a second skin in this place."

Another round of snickering filled the air as I took another drink, looking around the mess hall. Nearly everyone was busy eating and conversing with those around them. Except for one. Eric, I noticed as I set my cup back down, was staring straight at me. It was slightly unnerving to catch him doing that. His expression was just as cold now as it had been all day, and I couldn't figure out if he was angry or if he just looked that way naturally.

"Hey, Ronnie... Ronnie... Ronnie!"

Fingers suddenly appeared in my line of vision, snapping as my name was said over and over again. I blinked and looked over at the owner of the hand- Gabe. He smirked and shook his head. "Where'd your mind go off to?"

"Uh..." I tripped over my own tongue, still trying to get the feel of Eric's steel gaze out of my head. "Sorry. It's just..."

I leaned closer, lowering my voice so that I wasn't shouting over people and letting everyone know what I was saying. Gabe and the girl next to him both leaned forward to listen.

"I think Eric's staring at me."

The girl, a Dauntless-born with short jet black hair and light green eyes named Tara, whipped her head around to look. "Oh, shit, he is, huh. Can't tell if that's a good thing or not. That guy is hard to read."

"He's one of our leaders, right?" Gabe didn't look like Tara had. He was more concerned with fixing up another burger.

"Yeah," Tara answered. "And a trainer for initiates. He's apparently going to work with both transfers and Dauntless-born, so you guys are going to get to see how much of a hard-ass he can be."

"You would know, huh," Alex quipped.

"Not really. He transferred a couple years ago from Erudite, but he was second in his class. Four was first. But since Four didn't want a leader position, they asked Eric. He takes it pretty seriously."

I glanced back over to where Eric had been sitting, but he was gone. I started to look for him, but the meal was interrupted by Max, our main leader. He had all the initiates stand as he made a speech to welcome us and the whole place erupted into a deafening roar of cheering and cups being slammed on the tables. The excitement was thankfully enough to shake the weird vibes I'd gotten from Eric's stare.

* * *

The sound of metal slamming down on metal had me bolting straight up in my cot with a harsh gasp. It was the worst awakening I'd ever had in my life. Gabe nearly had the same reaction in the cot beside mine. The poor guy nearly ended up on the concrete floor. I looked over at the stairs, where Four was standing with a pipe in his hand.

"Everyone in the pit! Two minutes!"

Darcy, a former Erudite with copper-colored hair and hazel eyes that we'd also sat with at dinner last night and I had instantly gotten along with, groaned on my left, her blankets rustling as she shoved herself up into a sitting position. I flopped back onto my pillow and looked over at her. She looked at me and groaned again. "That... _Sucked_."

I snickered and nodded. "Yeah."

"Think he did that on purpose?" Gabe was trying to stand at this point. He was leaning against the stone wall the heads of our cots were up against, fighting with his pants and losing the battle pretty quickly.

"I'd say that's a big yes," I heard Alex answer from his bunk on the other side of Darcy.

"Alright," I groaned, sitting up and reaching for the clothes I'd laid out on my trunk at the end of the cot before we went to sleep. "I for one don't want to know what's going to happen if we're late, so... Yeah."

This time Gabe was the one to groan. Right before I heard him slip and fall to the floor with a loud thud. I couldn't help but join in on the round of laughter at his expense.

* * *

After Four had explained how we'd be trained and ranked, he set us off for laps around the training room to warm us up. It was pretty clear who of us wasn't in the best of shape fairly quickly by those who started to fall behind before we'd even finished the first lap around the gigantic room. I tried not to push myself too early, hanging back with Gabe and Alex for a bit, but after three laps I was feeling the buzz of endorphins in my system and started pulling ahead of them. I heard Gabe whine something along the lines of "Oh, come on!" between gulps of air. I just laughed and sped up.

We did wall planks, sit-ups, push-ups, and all kinds of other cardio work until lunch. By then, we were almost too tired and hungry to care much about socializing. But I had apparently earned an admirer in Gabe, and the boy kept looking at me like I'd hung the moon or something. And really, I thought it was kind of adorable. He himself wasn't that much to look at. He was tall, maybe just a touch taller than Eric, and with more of a lean build to him. It was a quiet kind of strength the he could actually use to his advantage if he didn't bulk up during training. He had deep green eyes that reminded me of the trees in the park. And he was just so damn nice and easy to get along with.

As we were stretching out together after lunch, I started to wonder if I should consider dating someone more like Gabe instead of letting myself find someone like Eric attractive. Guys like Eric were nothing but trouble. Huge egos and bad tempers. But guys like Gabe were the kind a girl really wanted. Sweet but protective. At least I assumed that Gabe was the protective kind. He did choose Dauntless, after all, so he had to be.

"Alright, people!" Four's voice broke into my thoughts, prompting everyone to stand up and pay attention. "Since I don't want anyone puking their guts up and making a mess on my floor on the first day, I'll be nice just this once, and let you jog your laps instead of run them. But if I see anyone walking, you're all doing wind sprints for a solid hour tomorrow. Before breakfast."

Half the group groaned, including Gabe and Darcy. Even I didn't like the idea of jogging around the place for the next hour. My muscles were already aching, and all I really wanted was a hot shower. At this point I didn't even care if It was going to be with six guys around. I was also pretty sure they didn't care, either.

"Okay, guys," I huffed, pushing myself up off the floor. "Let's get going. Nice and easy. I'll even stay with you this time."

"You're such a peach, Ronnie," Alex snarked with a roll of his eyes. He helped pull Darcy to her feet while I helped Gabe up.

"Sweetest in the whole crop," I quipped flirtatiously with a cheeky smirk. "Now be nice or I'll run ahead of you again and make you stare at my cute little ass the whole time."

Darcy barked a loud laugh, falling into step right beside me as we started off. I'd caught Gabe trying to hide a grin behind his hand, and Alex roll his eyes again as I looked back at the boys. Unfortunately, I also caught sight of Eric, who had apparently been right behind me when I popped off with my comment about staring at my ass, because I swear I felt his eyes go directly to it when I whipped my head back around to hide the blushing on my cheeks. My embarrassment only deepened when I suddenly remembered that my workout outfit for the day was a fitted tank top and skin-tight capris that showed off every curve of my figure. _Shit. Shit. Shit._


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N:** Seems I'm on a roll tonight! Hooray! I really hope you guys are enjoying Ronnie's journey through her training, and I promise things with Eric will heat up soon!  
_

_As always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

Our second week into training now had us on target practice and learning how to throw knives. I was good at the knives. I rarely missed the outline of the body after only the first day of it. I liked the feel of the steel blade in my hand. The weight of it. How I could just feel out the right spot to get the perfect balance without even having to look. I'd even started trying to throw with my left hand after a couple days.

"Okay, Ronnie," Gabe murmured from beside me at the tables set up a good distance away from the targets. "You're starting to make the rest of us look really bad at this. That's not even your dominant hand."

I snickered. "I guess it just comes naturally. Don't worry. You're still a better shot than me when it comes to the gun range."

"Yeah, _for now_."

"Ronnie! Do it with both hands!"

I flung another blade at my target, burying it into the shoulder, before looking to my left at Darcy. She'd become just as big a supporter as Gabe had since we started hanging out and bunking beside each other. And man, did I like this girl. She was only a couple inches shorter than me, and her muscle tone was evening up with mine quickly. She was even able to keep up with me on our daily running exercises now. I had to admit I was extremely proud of her.

"Both hands? I haven't tried that yet."

"I'd like to see that."

I nearly dropped the blades I had just picked up. I knew that husky baritone. Eric. _Just when the hell did he sneak up behind me?_ And yet, as I turned to look, there he was, arms crossed and his usual hard expression planted firmly on his face. Well, now I just had to do it because there was no way I was about to show this guy weakness. I'd seen how he treated other initiates for it. It wasn't pretty.

"Alright."

I shrugged and turned back to face the wall of targets. Suddenly, I was aware of the others stopping their own practice to watch me, too. _Great. An audience._ I exhaled and shook out my arms, cracking my neck and flexing my shoulders. _'Go big or go Factionless'_ seemed to be my motto as of late. Oh, well. Best to keep my fans happy, right?

I took a small step back, distributing my weight and planting my center of gravity between my feet. Not exactly something I was taught, but more of what I'd learned was better for me. I threw harder and more accurately this way. And Four seemed to approve of the method because he never corrected me once on it.

One quick inhale and I flung both daggers with a small grunt. **WHACK!** The blades dug deep into each shoulder of my target at the same time. Darcy squealed and jumped up and down. Gabe muttered an awe-filled "holy shit" under his breath. I slowly spun on my heel, a smug grin on my face and my hands on my hips.

"How's that?"

Eric's expression changed for a moment to one with the barest of hints of approval as he nodded. "Not bad, initiate. But I want you to hit the heart before your finals. Both blades. And don't look so smug. You won't have time for that in a real fight."

I felt a touch of irritation flare up. What was this guy's _deal_? I was kicking ass at this, even tried something new and clearly did an awesome job at it, and all I got was a backhanded compliment? Hell yes, it rubbed me the wrong way, and hell yes, pissed me off. It took everything I had not to reach over and grab one of the knives laying on the table beside me and fling it at the asshole as he turned and started to walk off. But I was smart enough to know that he'd kill me in a heartbeat and not even feel bad for it should I let my temper get the best of me.

"We're done for the day!" His voice echoed off the marble walls as he continued to walk away. "Chow time!"

Darcy's fingers laced between mine, the warmth of her little hand breaking through my anger. "You were freaking amazing, Ronnie. Don't let him get to you, okay?"

I huffed, still entertaining the image of my steel digging itself into the jerk's well-toned back. Then I felt Gabe's hand on my left shoulder, patting lightly and giving a little push.

"Come on," he said gently. "Let's get some food and relax for a while. Maybe go hit the bar?"

"Ooh! Let's go get _tattoos_!"

I jerked my eyes away from the tight black shirt I was still watching retreat and looked at her. Darcy had grabbed my interest. A tattoo. All Dauntless had tattoos. It was a form of expressing one's individuality and unity with the faction at the same time. And I had to admit that I was actually craving one myself.

"You know what?" I grinned as we started walking away from the tables. "That sounds perfect."

* * *

I tried to brace myself for the feel of the static film as I sat in the chair, shirt pulled over my head to cover my breasts as my back was bared for the guy I'd nabbed up to do my piece. But when it was suddenly plastered to my skin the cold of it made my whole body twitch. I heard a chuckle behind me.

"Sorry. It's cold."

"It's okay. Surprises everyone. Even the ones who've been through this before."

I could feel him smoothing it out over my skin, making sure no air bubbles remained trapped to mar the process. Two black sneakers came into view as I kept my eyes on the ground. Darcy was done now. Her choice had been something smaller. The Erudite symbol with Dauntless fire for the pupil of the eye, just under her elbow crease in the inside of her forearm. I applauded her choice to represent her birth and chosen factions in one piece. It was nice. I'd probably do something like that later myself. But not tonight.

"Are you sure you want an entire back piece, Ronnie? That's... Pretty extreme."

I smirked against the leather of the headrest. "Go big or go Factionless, right?"

"Right on, sister," the tattoo guy crowed behind me. He slapped my upper arm with a chuckle. "Alright. Now, this is gonna burn. And with the size, I'm gonna tell you now, that it's gonna suck because we do it all at once. But it won't last but for maybe three minutes. Can you handle that?"

I turned my head to look at him and nodded. "Ink me, dude."

* * *

"Shit, Ronnie, that looks awesome."

It was the first time Alex had seen my massive back piece since I'd gotten it last night. His fingers ran over the back of my shoulder, tracing the edge of the now-black flesh. I was wearing my sport bra for our workout today, so my piece was displayed pretty prominently for everyone to see.

"Did it hurt?"

"Not too bad." Only a little bit of a fib. It burned like hell toward the end of our session, but my desire for the piece overwhelmed the pain for the most part. "Totally worth it, though."

"A phoenix, huh? Rising from the ashes of our past as dependents and into the life as a Dauntless soldier."

"Damn right." I grinned as I stretched by legs out in a V with my body hovering less than an inch off the floor. Man, had I gotten limber lately. Which was really good because it helped me with the sparring sessions were were being thrown into this week. I was light and quick on my feet. I could maneuver around most of my opponents and dodge a lot of the blows being thrown at me. I had definitely chosen the right faction in Dauntless.

"Alright," Four's voice called out. "Time to spar. Ronnie! You're up."

I skittered to my feet and headed over to the ring, shaking my limbs and bouncing to prepare for today's session.

"Gabe! You're in. Let's go."

For a second, Gabe looked concerned. But I nodded and grinned and waved him up.

"Let's dance, Farm Boy," I teased. Gabe was getting pretty good at sparring. He could throw a heavy punch, something I'd have to watch out for. But he wasn't quite as fast as I was so I'd be spending most of my time on defense to wear him down at first. That was usually my strategy when it came to the bigger opponents.

But Gabe surprised me by not going for his usual strength-fueled moves. He charged head on, tackling me to the floor and pinning me down. He'd been watching my fights a little too well, apparently. He attacked my ribs with his forearms, clearly not wanting to beat me too badly, but the blows still hurt and I got the wind knocked out of me while I had my arms up to protect my face.

"Ronnie, you need to get out of that or he's going to knock you unconscious."

I could hear Four's instructions from the sidelines. He always paid close attention and offered tips to the ones with the disadvantage. He was a good instructor. And I'd picked up a lot from him. So I did what came naturally now. Strike fast and put distance between us so I could get control. I wrapped my legs around Gabe's thickening waistline and put as much force as I could muster into a punch to his stomach. His abs were hardening from our training, but a good shot to the gut can stop anyone.

And mine got him good. It knocked the breath out of him with a very audible grunt, and before he could get another lungful of air I swung my legs up and over his shoulders and kicked his chest hard. He went sprawling back onto the mat just as I wanted him to.

"Good job. Now finish him before he can get up."

I leaped, landing on Gabe's chest and straddling his rib cage. My thighs tightened, trying to keep him from filling his lungs properly. I threw a punch at his face, but I'll be damned if the boy didn't tilt his head at the last second and make me slam my fist into the mat. And that freaking _hurt_.

"_Fuck!_"

Then I was being thrown off him and onto my back, Gabe's forearm coming down on my neck as he pinned my arms down. Yeah, he'd definitely been paying attention to my sessions. Take out my arms and I can't get to the blades I knew I'd be carrying with me at all times once I was a full-fledged Dauntless member. I couldn't even get my legs around him with the way he was holding me down. I was helpless.

"And you're dead. He's crushed your throat. Too bad."

With Four's announcement of my death, Gabe rolled away and held out his hand to help me sit up.

"Dammit, Gabe!" I huffed, my hand coming up to rub my throat where his arm had been. "I almost had you!"

"Sorry, Ronnie. I can't let a girl kill me. I'd never hear the end of it."

He grinned sheepishly and ran a hand through his blonde hair. It was starting to get longer now, curling at the ends. I rolled my eyes and shook my right hand. My knuckles were really starting to hurt now. I noticed the pang of guilt that had washed over poor Gabe's face and shook my head at him.

"I'm fine. You just wait. Next time, your ass is _mine_."

"Okay, you two," Four broke in. "Practice ring three. Work on breaking each other's holds for a while. I want to see you get out of tricky spots."

We both nodded and pulled each other up from the mat to head over to the empty practice ring nearby. We quickly worked out who would go first for a hold and who would escape, and how long we'd consider an attempt to be before it was a pass or fail. Gabe was up first for a hold, and I already knew which one I wanted.

"I want you to pin me like we were," I told him flat out as we stepped onto the mat. "And I'm going to get out of it."

He raised an eyebrow. "Ronnie, it's a throat crusher. I hold it too long and you'll pass out."

"I don't care."

_Dauntless don't give up. Dauntless don't back down._ The mantra repeated on it's own in my head. I was Dauntless. I was going to give up. And I wasn't going to back down. And I was going to break out of that damned choke hold or die trying.


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N:** WARNING! STEAMY TIMES AHEAD! Also, thank you so much for the reviews and follows, guys. It means the world to me that you're liking this so much. It makes me want to pump out these chapters nonstop. Because sleep is for the weak, right? XD  
_

_As always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

I was still annoyed the next morning after trying everything I could think of and still not being able to break out of Gabe's choke hold. By the time Four had called an end to the day, Gabe was looking really upset with himself. Darcy and Alex tried to reassure him that it wasn't his fault. That it was an outstanding hold. That I was just angry because I wasn't ready to accept defeat. All through dinner the poor guy kept giving me apologetic looks. He even offered me his desert as a kind of plea for me to cheer up. I accepted it, even gave him a hug to try to show him that it wasn't him I was mad at. It was me.

And that anger carried on through the night and invaded my dreams. Only it wasn't Gabe holding me down anymore. Gabe had twisted into Eric. _Eric_ was pinning me to the floor. Crushing my windpipe and rendering me helpless. He stared down at me with those cold steely eyes and that vicious smirk. Slowly pressing the breath from my lungs and keeping me from sucking any more in. Killing me.

I yanked on my capris and tank top as quietly as possible, grabbing my socks and sneakers to slip them on once I'd left the dormitory. I didn't want to wake the others. I needed to be alone for a while to work out my frustrations. Which at this time of the morning, was easy to do. Almost no one was up yet. I heard the sounds of breakfast being prepared in the mess hall, but the training floor was dark and empty. It was perfect.

I don't know how long I'd been in there, punching and kicking away at the training dummy, but it was enough to get a good sweat going. I lost myself in the memory of trying the get away from Gabe and the visions of Eric that still lingered in my head. Thinking of Eric made me strike harder, less precise. He was a total pain in my ass and for the life of me I couldn't figured what the hell I saw in him that made me want him they way I did. Over a week of cold glares and backhanded compliments had thrown my emotions into a tailspin of confusion. Anger and desire. I couldn't separate them no matter how hard I tried.

"You're losing focus, initiate."

The voice behind me threw me off so much I missed my punch and fell into the orange dummy. I growled and shoved myself off, spinning around to lock eyes with the one person I really didn't want to see right now. _Eric._ But there he was, in all his cruel glory, watching me with those cold blue eyes of his and his arms folded over his chest.

"That hold yesterday has thrown you off your game."

"Yeah, well, I couldn't get out of it. Pissed me off."

The shortness in my tone struck a nerve with him. I almost shrank back at the flash of irritation in his eyes. But I was still angry and didn't even bother to care right then. Even when his jaw flexed. Which, frustratingly enough, made my mouth water. For a split second I wondered what it would be like to kiss that jawline. To run my fingers down those bulging biceps, trail down his forearms to his fingers. Take hold of his hands and have them touch me in places I'd never had a guy touch me before.

"You're not thinking clearly. Letting your emotions get the best of you."

Damn, he just _had_ to open his mouth and just annoy the living shit out of me. I wanted to walk away. Put as much distance between me and him as possible before I did something I knew I was going to regret really quickly. But walking away from Eric would show weakness and make him angry, and I stood firm to my decision about not letting him see _any_ weakness in me. So I huffed and crossed my own arms over my chest, looking away from him.

"And I suppose you're going to tell me the secret of breaking out, huh?"

Suddenly his hand gripped my elbow, yanking me forward. My gasp of surprise was involuntary. Eric didn't seem to either notice or care as he dragged me over to the nearest practice ring. He was being a little rough and I really wasn't appreciating it much at the moment.

"Come at me," he barked as he released his grip and I stumbled a couple of steps. I blinked.

"What?"

"You heard me, Ronnie. Come. At. Me."

That was the first time he'd ever called me by the name I'd chosen to be known as here in Dauntless. And holy hell if I didn't like the way it rolled off his tongue. _What the fuck is wrong with me? Eric is a jerk. He's practically a fucking sadist for crying out loud. I should not be attracted to his abusive fucking ass._ I had to shake the images that suddenly came to mind, the ones where he was not just saying my name, but panting it. _Moaning_ it. Over and over, far into the early hours of morning. They were too damn distracting and he was looking like he was about to yell at me.

So I lunged. And of course, he caught me and flipped me right onto my back. His body was pressed against mine in a flash, and once again, I was in Gabe's throat crusher hold. Only Eric wasn't pushing down as hard as he had been in my dream. He wasn't trying to kill me this time. Not exactly. But he had a firm grip on my wrist with his free hand, his arm across my ribs, and one knee pinning my other arm to my side. My legs were between his, but his thighs were like prison bars as they prevented me from thrashing.

"Now. _Think._ How are you going to get out of this?"

His voice was low in my ear. And yet again, I was flooded with the want to let him do whatever he pleased to me. It was downright infuriating.

"I can't," I rasped, struggling in vain against his muscled frame. "I'm fucking pinned to the floor."

His tattooed forearm pressed down a little harder on my throat. "Yes, you can. Think, Ronnie. But think fast. You're running out of air."

"Fuck!" I was panting heavily now. I just wanted up and away from Eric. "I don't know! Fake my death?"

"Well, that's one way. But what if he doesn't buy that? What if he's got a friend coming up to shoot you in the head? What if he keeps pressing against your throat even after you close your eyes and go limp? You need a better plan than that, initiate."

Panic was beginning to set in. By this point Gabe had been letting me tap out. But there was no way Eric was going to do that. He fought dirty, and everyone knew it. _So fight dirty back._ The thought popped into my head and I just went with it. I wiggled one leg up over the other and crossed my ankles. Then I brought my knee up, straight into his groin. It was enough to get him to loosen his grip on me just enough to catch him in the side of the head and knock him over onto his elbow. Then I wiggled like a crazy woman, back and away.

But Eric's recovery was faster than my escape attempt. Before I knew it, he'd grabbed my leg and yanked me back, flipping me over onto my knees and wrapping an arm around my body all at the same time. Now I was pinned again. My arms held down at my sides, my face on the mat, his knees between mine and pushing them apart to keep me from getting any kind of leverage. And my ass pressed firmly against his crotch. I felt his thighs tense against the backs of mine. Desire flooded through me with the force of a tidal wave. It was all I could do to bit my lip instead of moan under him.

I felt his free hand snake up my thigh to my hip. His fingers brushed along the hemline of my capris, up to the skin of my side that had become exposed in the struggle, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. I felt him push my tank top up a little more, undoubtedly exposing more of my phoenix tattoo. I writhed against him, partly still trying to break away but partly because I knew it would test him in more ways than one.

He groaned against my shoulder, his breath as hot as his touch. His muscles turned to steel against my own. And in that moment I suddenly realized he was thinking things very similar to what I was thinking. Things that a trainer shouldn't be thinking about doing with an initiate. That a _leader_ shouldn't be doing with an initiate. Especially not out here in the open. Not where anyone could walk in at any moment and see.

I felt his hand move back down to my hip. He gripped it firmly for a moment before sliding it back down my thigh with the same solid pressure. This time I just couldn't stop the tiny moan that forced its way up from my chest. I realized it was a massive mistake the instant it happened. I'd shown Eric weakness. Yes, he'd shown it first, but I'd reciprocated it. I'd let him know that I would respond to him in that way should he try something.

He released his hold immediately and pushed himself away while I fell onto the mat. Scrambling to lower my shirt and scoot away, I turned to see him smirking at me once more. Cold and calculating as always. He huffed through his nose and stood up.

"By the way." He paused for a moment to look back down at me before walking off and leaving me in a bigger mess of emotion than I'd started out in that morning. "I like the tattoo." 

* * *

I was so glad the training that morning was filled with running through the city. After my encounter with Eric, I needed it to try to get myself set straight again. I didn't breath a word to Darcy or Gabe or Alex about what had happened. I tried to act as normal as possible around them. Even apologized to Gabe for acting like a jerk the day before, letting him wrap his arms- newly tattooed with three solid black bands around his forearms- around me for a much happier hug this time around. It seemed to do the trick with them, and we were back to being buddies again in no time flat.

But in the back of my head, I couldn't the memory of Eric to go away. I could still feel the hardness of his muscles pressed against mine. The way his hand touched my leg, my hip, my side. It made me want more. Exactly what I really didn't need. What I needed was to get through my training. I wasn't at the top of the class, but I wasn't anywhere near the failing line. I was in the safe zone. A nice little nest in the upper middle of the chart with my friends.

After lunch, however, just when I was getting over the events of the early morning before training, my mood took a heavy nosedive right into There Were No Survivors territory. We walked onto the training floor and I saw Eric waiting for us at the mats. Eric. With that damned smug look on his face. But he wasn't alone. Now he had the Dauntless-born initiates with him.

"Shit."

I hadn't realized I'd cursed out loud until Alex looked over at me.

"What?"

"We're sparring them," I answered, unable to tear my eyes away from Eric. "He's pitting us against Dauntless-born."

"Oh, shit," Gabe echoed my previous remark.

"Okay," Eric boomed out as soon as we neared him. "This afternoon is going to be about a tough issue for a few of you initiates."

He paused for dramatic effect.

"Pinning and escaping."

_That son of a bitch._ Heat flooded my body immediately. A fresh batch of memories from earlier accompanied it. I clentched my fists at my sides, trying to calm myself. Fine then. If this was the game he was going to play, then he was going to get one hell of a grudge match.

"I'll be pairing you off, and you'll practice pinning each other and then escaping from the positions. I don't want to see any sissy play out there, or you're all running laps until you collapse."

A few groans rose up from both groups of initiates, but they didn't last long as Eric started calling names and assigning practices areas. Of course, he pitted me against Gabe. I was starting to feel bad for the guy, I swear. He knew I was sore about yesterday, even though I had apoligized about it, and now he had to live it all over again today.

"Same as last time?" He flicked a glance from me to Eric, unsure of who would answer.

"Same as last time," Eric told him, folding his arms over his chest as if he were king of the roost.

I sighed and prepared myself for Gabe's assault. He came at me just as before, and I let him take me down without a fight. Only this time, I knew how to get away thanks to Eric. It took Gabe by complete surprise how quickly I went from losing my battle to flipping the scales and gaining my upper hand back. So he tried again on Eric's command, attempting to keep me down any way he could. But I was angry all over again and kept getting away.

After an hour of this, he switched us up with someone the previously weaker person was now stronger than. I was lucky enough to get Tara, who was stout enough to handle Darcy, but not quick enough to get away from me so easily. She put up a really good fight, though. I was sure to have several bruises on my ribs and thighs in the morning. As Eric finally released us for the day, I left as quickly as possible, taking care to avoid Eric at all costs. 

* * *

A few hours later, I was drunk off my ass. The Dauntless-born initiates treated us transfers to a huge bounty of booze back in our dormitory after dinner, and we'd had a grand time goofing off as one big group. Unfortunately, not even copious amounts of alcohol could get me to stop thinking about Eric's behavior that morning. In fact, it almost made it worse. Especially when someone thought it would be a bright idea to be childish and play Spin The Bottle. I honestly think I kissed every boy there, and a couple girls.

But now, I was lounging up on the roof where we'd all jumped on our first day here, enjoying the warm night air on my flushed skin while the others were either still drinking, getting tattooed or pierced, or had passed out somewhere. Slipping out was relatively easy, I had found. No one had come to look for me so far, so I must not be being missed yet.

"There you are."

I sighed heavily, my hand moving up on it's own and waving him off sloppily. I was too trashed to care about the chain of command right now. Pissing Eric off was the least of my concerns. "Not now, Eric. I'm busy."

I heard him cross over to where I was lounging. But the pressure around my hand wasn't the one I expected. It was softer, almost... Tender. That was surprising enough to force me to open my eyes and look for his face. His expression was still stern, but there was something different in his eyes. An odd glint that I wasn't sure how to place thanks to the fog coating my brain, but somehow it still send a slight shiver down my spine and tightened my stomach.

"You shouldn't be out here on your own. It's not safe."

"Why? Boogyman gonna get me? _Oooooooooh._"

I giggled at my own horrible and childish retort, fluttering my fingers in mock fear. He huffed and lowered himself down on his haunches, his gaze fixated on mine. His voice dropped to a level I'd never heard before. And even in my drunken stupor, I was aware enough to know it was still just as dangerous as any other. If not more.

"Something like that."

"Eric..." I sighed and tugged my hand away. He released it immediately but stayed where he was. "Please. I don't have the energy for your games tonight. Just... Let me enjoy being wasted alone, okay?"

He grunted and was suddenly sitting like I had been, leaned back against the ledge with his legs out in front of him, and I was somehow straddling his lap with my hands on his shoulders. My head swam from all the moving around and I swayed to the side, nearly toppling over. But his hands stayed firm on my hips, keeping me from going anywhere. I blinked, completely surprised by him yet again. How many times was he going to do this to me? Until he got bored with his little game? Until I actually gave in to him? For the rest of our time in Dauntless?

"And what if I don't want to? What are you going to do about it, _Ronnie_?"

Oh, geez. He'd said my name again. No. More like almost growled it. Another shiver raced through me, this time one I liked. And all over again I was feeling him on top of me on the sparring mats, his hand snaking up my side and gripping my hip. Much like his hands were doing now. I could feel his thumbs pressing into my hips, drawing circles into the sensitive flesh they'd uncovered somehow. My eyes fluttered closed and my fingers curled, gathering up the fabric of his thin black shirt. I heard him chuckle lowly.

"What's wrong, Ronnie? Not going to fight me this time?"

"Eric..." My voice was barely above a whisper, heavy with lust as I opened my eyes to look down into his.

"Ronnie..."

He chuckled after saying my name again. I felt him move my hips closer just a bit, and that tiny amount of friction ignited the powder keg he'd been filling all day. My mouth came crashing down on his. He released one of my hips to wrap his hand around my jaw and the back of my neck, his thumb stroking my cheek. My hips kept moving, guided by the hand that still gripped one of them tightly as his tongue slipped into my mouth. He tasted of alcohol. He'd been drinking, too. He clearly wasn't as drunk as I was, but he was certainly riding a nice buzz, apparently. It had to have been the only reason he'd let me get away with talking to him like I had.

I broke away from his burning lips, my head tilting back so I could take in whole gulps of air. Eric took this as permission to move his oral assault to my neck and collarbone. The hand that held my neck slid down my front while the one on my hip slipped up under my shirt, tracing my spine as far up as he could reach and all the way back down to the hem of my sweatpants. His fingers set fire to my skin wherever they came in contact with it. His name tumbled from my lips in a desperate, whispered moan. It earned a squeeze from the hand resting on my breast and a nip to my shoulder.

"Giving in so easily, Ronnie?"

His breathe was hot against my skin, but as intoxicating as that was, his words hit me in a much different manner. Giving in... To Eric... Easily? _Oh, hell no!_ I jerked back suddenly, by body going rigid. It must have surprised him because he stopped moving and looked up at me. I saw a twinkle of confusion in his eyes before he did himself in by giving me that trademark smirk I'd come to both hate and like at the same time. I shoved myself back, away from his warmth.

"Fuck you, Eric," I spat, rolling off his lap and staggering to my feet.

"I thought that's where we were heading, Ronnie."

I shook my head angrily at him, my buzz dying off quickly. My shoes scraped against the loose rocks as I turned away and started for the ledge we'd jumped from down onto the net below the hole. I heard him call my name again, but I was already climbing up on the ledge to make my escape. Before I jumped, I turned to throw an icy glare of my own in his direction.

"No, Eric. If you want me, you're going to have to work for it. I'm not falling for your bullshit anymore."


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N:** If anyone else cries reading this, I just wanna say you are not alone, okay? I honestly cried while writing it. More than once. And thank you so much for your support. You guys are epic.  
_

_As always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

Holy fuck, my head was killing me. And by the look of the others and they way Four kept yelling at us, everyone else was in the same boat as I was this morning. We were dragging major ass, and it was clearly pissing Four off. So as punishment, we got to do wall planks until our legs turned to jelly, push-ups until our arms gave out, and sit-ups until about three or four of us yakked up breakfast. And then we ran. For an hour straight. I was seriously wishing for death by the time lunch break came around.

But at least I hadn't seen Eric yet. He was busy with the Dauntless-born outside the compound. And by the way they were staggering in for chow informed me that they'd had it just as bad as us. Tara nearly tripped over the bench as she climbed in to sit with us. No one laughed. Not even so much as a snicker. We were all in too much pain for even good-natured ribbing today.

"Someone kill me now," Gabe groaned between tiny bites. "I'm begging here."

"I don't have the strength," Alex moaned back. "Ronnie, you do it."

"No way. I can barely even lift my arms. No way in hell am I going to be able to kill anyone."

"Can someone please remind me what the hell we were thinking last night?" Darcy dropped her sausage link, still attached to her fork. It clattered against the tin tray and sounded like a truck falling down a rocky ravine. Everyone at the table winced in pain.

"I'm never drinking again," someone else grumbled a few seats down. I think it was a Dauntless-born boy named Fritz, but I just couldn't force myself to look to be sure. I just wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep for a week.

Things certainly didn't get better after lunch. This time, we were stuck on target practice with Eric. And he sure was in a pissy mood today. He threatened to shoot four different people within the first hour of practice because we all kept missing and complaining about the noise after every shot. If he was suffering from last night it never showed.

If anything what had happened on the rooftop between us had made him even more volatile than usual. It was really grating on my still-raw nerves. I seriously didn't want to be anywhere near him today, but it wasn't like I had a choice in the matter. He was my instructor. I was an initiate. And after all this was over, I was going to have to deal with him until one of us either died or became too old or useless to serve Dauntless anymore. But as much as he infuriated me with his attitude, the mere thought of Eric being dead or even old or crippled actually bothered me more than being around him today. Truthfully, it hurt to even consider him in that way. I just couldn't bear to think that one day he wouldn't be there to piss me off with just a mere smirk or icy glare.

"Head in the game, initiate! You haven't fired a single shot in nearly two minutes!"

His voice was way too loud in my ear. Figures, because he was towering over me and leaning down until his face was only a few inches from the side of my head. I snapped then. I ground my teeth and growled, pulling the trigger on my rifle several times in quick succession. But my shots were too wild. I hit the target only four times, and and none of them were even remotely close to each other.

I felt his hand clamp down on the back of my neck and it was all I could do not to cry from the pain and spew out more cuss words than the "_Ah, fuck!_" that came out before I could clamp my mouth shut. Eric yanked me back hard. My rifle clattered to the ground. I lost my footing and struggled to get it back before I fell on my ass and he was dragging me along instead of just pulling. I could already feel the bruises forming from his brutal grip. It really hurt. More than I thought it should. But it wasn't just that his fingers that were hurting me when only half a day ago they were pleasuring my skin. Eric's harshness today was hurting my heart. And I only realized this from the look on his face when he'd finally let me go in the stairwell after dragging me through the door to the roof the targets had been set up on.

"Are you _crying_, initiate?!"

I quickly wiped at the tears rolling down my cheeks and shook my head in denial. An obvious lie that sent him further over the edge. He got right up in my face again, shoving me back against the wall of the stairwell and pinning me there with only his fury.

"DAUNTLESS DO NOT CRY! CRYING IS FOR THE WEAK! AND DAUNTLESS _ARE NOT WEAK_!"

I turned my head, my neck still burning from his fingertips pressing into it so roughly. But I couldn't look at him when he was like this. It hurt me. It scared me. Before the last couple of days, I'd tried so hard not to let him think I was weak in any way. I wanted him to see me as someone who was strong. Someone Dauntless. But now... He'd gotten inside my head. He'd exposed everything I'd been trying so desperately to hide.

"Look at me, initiate."

The venom in his voice burned at hotly as the pain in my neck. Another tear trickled down my cheek. My palms pressed against the wall, as if I could somehow melt into it by sheer force of will. But I couldn't look at him. I couldn't force myself to look into to steel pools of hatred that were boring down into my very soul at that moment.

"Eric..." My voice sounded so tiny right then. It was pathetic even to me. It was like I was suddenly a child, terrified and squirming as he continued to hover over me with all his rage seething out from his very pores. "Please..."

"_Look... At... Me..._"

I choked back the sob that desperately wanted to be released from my throat and slowly turned my head. In that moment, Eric was truly terrifying to look at. He had murder in his cold blue eyes. It knocked the breath from my lungs. I certainly didn't find this attractive at all. In fact, it made me question what kind of life I would have if we were together and this is how he behaved on a regular basis. And the very thought petrified me.

I don't know if it was the utter terror in my eyes that did it, or if he just realized how close he was to the edge of losing all control, but he suddenly took two steps back. His hands balled into fists at his sides. His eyes closed, head lowering. For a few breathless minutes I had no idea what I should do. But I damn sure wasn't about to touch him. That could easily get my neck broken with the way he was acting.

"Leave."

I blinked, confused. "What?"

"Go back to the dorms. Before I do something I'll regret later."

He didn't have to tell me again. I turned tail and practically _flew_ down the stairs. Two floors worth of steps later, I heard the door to the roof open and slam shut again.

* * *

I avoided Eric as best I could for over a week after that. It seemed like he was avoiding me, too, because I barely even saw his shadow around. Darcy, Gabe, Alex, and even Tara had tried to get me to talk about what happened that day several times. But I just clammed up and insisted I didn't want to talk about it every time the conversation went in that direction. I was hoping they only thought that he'd chewed me out something fierce because the only bruises I'd come out with afterward were the ones on the back of my neck.

I just couldn't tell them what had been happening between Eric and I. I didn't want the looks of shock that would ultimately change into pity and anger. I didn't want to feel even worse than I already did because I'd kept such a big secret from my best friends in the whole world. I just wanted to somehow wake up from all of it. Like it was nothing more than a really bad dream. That I was going to go out to training and see Eric and he would annoy me with that damned smug look and nothing more would come of it. That I wouldn't have to feel like my heart was being ripped right out of my chest because I had feelings I didn't even want.

I had thrown myself into my training again to try to get over the shitty way I was feeling, but it just wasn't working as well as I'd hoped. And then when we were told that we were going to be doing fear landscape exercises to help condition our minds, I nearly had a breakdown right there. The last thing I wanted was to have someone peaking into my head. Especially now. Because I knew without a doubt that Eric would one of my fears. No. He'd be more like two or three of them.

I guess that's one of the reasons I went with the others to the pit tonight. To try to drink myself into a stupor so I couldn't feel anything anymore. I was tired of hurting, and I didn't mean from the bruises I was collecting during training. I had went into Dauntless so happy and confident, so sure that this was where I was meant to be. And now I was having doubts about the whole thing. Like maybe I should have just played it safe and stayed in Candor. Because at least there I wouldn't have met Eric. I wouldn't have even been aware of his existence.

My plan to drink him off my mind had been working for a few hours now. I was giddy and blissful with the alcohol coursing through my veins. I was dancing like there was no tomorrow. I was laughing at every stupid joke that anyone within earshot told. I was basking in the compliments on my ever-improving skills, my long dark curls, my wild grey-green eyes, and whatever else people wanted to praise about me. I was even flirting with a few Dauntless guys. I was, for all intents and purposes, have a the time of my life down in the chaotic ruckus of the pit.

Until I felt something that not even massive quantities of booze could block out. I was being watched. It took a minute or two, but I finally found the source of my sudden unease. Eric was tucked away in a corner on an upper level of the pit, staring right at me. And boy, if looks could kill, the latest subject of my flirtations- a tall, blonde, and oh-so-hunky Dauntless-born member named Dalton who was about four years my senior- would have been dead before he'd even been born. It looked like Eric was about to make a flying leap across the the entire pit and shove his bottle of blue alcohol straight down Dalton's pretty little throat just because he'd dared to even _think_ about dancing with me to the bass-heavy rock music that was blaring from the speakers.

Of course, Eric's audacity to look jealous just pissed me off and ruined everything. I left Dalton standing in the middle of the crowd, calling my name and looking hopelessly confused as I just stalked away. I couldn't be in the same place as Eric right now. Especially with the death glares he was shooting any guy I happened to simply _look_ at. I just could not handle that kind of stress. So I shoved my way through the throbbing crowd, not even caring where I went as long as it took me away from there.

I was too busy trying to get away to pay attention to the sounds of yelling coming from ahead of me on the path around the chasm. A couple of guys were really getting into it over something, and before I could even process that right there was not the place I needed to be, one of the guys shoved the other hard enough to knock him right into me. And I was passing by to get to the bridge at just the wrong time. The pushee slammed into me like a load of bricks, throwing me off-balance. Right over the edge of the pathway.

I don't know if it was me who screamed or one of the girls trying to break up the fight. All I remember is flailing, desperate to catch anything sold to hold on to. My fingers managed to grab hold of the steel railing of the bridge and I felt several pops all at once. My entire right side felt like it's been set on fire. Tears blurred my vision almost immediately and I couldn't see to get a grip on anything with my left hand. Someone screamed my name. Another screamed for Four. Something hard wrapped around my right wrist at the same time something else latched onto my left. I knew I screamed that time. The pain was making me black out. Fuck, it just hurt so bad. I couldn't even force myself to breathe properly. I was vaguely aware that I was being moved. Pulled up. Something wrapping around me and holding tight. The voices around me blended together into one massive mix of noise. After that, I only remember darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N:** Wow, I got some rabid readers out there, huh? Hah! I love it. You guys rock. Really. Well, then. Let's go ahead and find out who saved Ronnie!  
_

_As always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

I woke up in the infirmary with an IV attached to my left hand and my right one bundled up in a cast that went from my fingertips and up halfway to my elbow. The cast was nestled in a sling that kept it laying across my chest and held close. Everything from my shoulder to my fingernails hurt on that arm. On my left, I noticed four long bruises running across my wrist, and four more about halfway to my elbow. Finger markings. Where someone had grabbed my arm. I imagined I probably had similar ones on my right arm under the cast because I vaguely remembered something grabbing hold of that one, too.

A sound to my left grabbed my attention and I turned my head to look for its source. I'd moved a little too quickly, apparently, because I was rewarded with a sharp pang in my right shoulder and a blast of white behind my eyeballs. A hand fell tenderly on my left arm, accompanied by a very familiar voice.

"Holy shit, Ronnie. You're awake. You had us scared out of our minds for two days now."

"Gabe?"

Holy shit, my voice sounded awful. Like I'd been eating sand or something. But if I'd been out for two days, it really wasn't surprising that I was a bit croaky. I hadn't had anything to drink. The fingers on my arm tightened briefly and suddenly there was something being pressed to my lips.

"Yeah, it's me. Here. Drink this. It's just water." A happy sigh as I grabbed hold of what I now recognized as a straw and sucked up whole mouthfuls of the best tasting water I'd ever had in my life. "Man, you have no idea how glad I am you're okay. We nearly lost you."

The blinding light behind my eyes subsided and I was greeted with shaggy blond hair and endlessly deep green eyes filled with both worry and relief. And sleeplessness from the look of the red that rimmed them. How long had he been sitting here in the infirmary? All night? The whole two days? My heart wrenched painfully. I was so lucky to have someone like Gabe. I really needed to tell him that more.

"I was so scared I was gonna lose my best friend." His voice cracked and tears welled up in those gorgeous green eyes. I wanted to reach for his hand. To show him some comfort. But all I could do is smile weakly at him.

"Can't get rid of me that easily, apparently," I joked. That got the laugh I wanted, however small. "Gabe... What the hell happened?"

"I was coming across the bridge," he started, sitting on the bed next to my legs. "Saw the whole thing. These two guys- Marco and Riz- were arguing about something. Marco shoved Riz back, and he fell into you. You went over the edge. I dived for you, and I swear it was like Eric just popped up out of thin air and grabbed your arm right when you lost your grip on the bridge. Then Four showed up and helped him pull you out. Eric carried you here all by himself."

I can honestly say that I was genuinely surprised that Eric had followed me. I really didn't think he would have after we'd been avoiding each other for nearly a week and half. But now I was grateful he did. I don't know if anyone else would have been able to get to me in time like that. Even Gabe.

"And my arm?"

"You broke four fingers. Dislocated your shoulder and your wrist pretty bad. Tore a couple muscles. But the doc says you'll heal up and be fine in a few weeks. You're actually getting a break from training because of how well you've been doing, so you don't have to worry about falling behind. And they're going to let you keep your ranking as it stands. No one's bumping you down no matter what."

"Everyone agreed to that? Max? Four?" I had to take a breath before the next name because I was still having difficulties talking about him, no matter the context of the discussion. "Eric?"

"Yeah. It was unanimous. They decided to let you jump into your fear landscapes after you're released from here, since you can't train with a bum arm, but they said they were keeping you in the program. You've proved yourself to them, Ronnie. You're practically Dauntless already."

I was shocked. As far as I knew, Initiates never got this kind of treatment, accident or not. I guess I really had chosen right with Dauntless after all. The realization flooded me with relief and joy. Or was that the drugs they were pumping into me to keep the pain down? Hell, at this point I didn't care. I wasn't going to get kicked out of Dauntless because I couldn't properly finish my training.

"Wait," I said after a moment. "What happened to the guys that were fighting? Because this was a complete accident, you know."

Gabe's face fell a little bit, and he looked uncomfortable. "Eric, uh... Eric kinda lost it on them after he carried you in. Nearly threw Marco into the chasm himself. It took six guys to get both of them away from there and separated. He kept yelling something about your life being on Marco's head and that he's responsible for all your injuries and nearly costing Dauntless a promising soldier. Hell, even Max was pissed he was the reason you got hurt like this."

"I guess throwing Initiates into the chasm is kind of frowned upon, huh?"

I smirked and Gabe snorted a short snicker. He patted my knee and stood up.

"I gotta get back. Let Four know you're awake. He'll probably be in later to pretty much tell you what I have... Only better. You know, since he's a trainer and all that. Anyway. Get some rest, Ronnie. I'll bring the gang around after training this afternoon."

I nodded and gave him a smile. He threw back a little wave and trotted off. I shifted in the bed, wondering just what the hell I was supposed to do now. I wasn't used to lying around. Four weeks here and I was in a routine. Moving, every single day. I didn't rest. But yet, here I was. Laid up in the infirmary with a busted arm. And the drugs were actually making me sleepy again, which was a little strange, but I figured there wasn't much use in fighting it. Sleep was a good way to let the body heal itself. So that's what I did. Closed my eyes and let myself fall back into the warm little cocoon of a dreamless sleep.

* * *

I adjusted my sling for what felt like the hundredth time already today. I was nervous. I'd heard so many horror stories about these fear landscape sessions. Like one year, some guy actually had a heart attack in the chair because he was so scared. I knew they couldn't possibly all be true. Just made up to freak us out even more than we already were. Which they did.

The door opened and I turned to look at Four. He'd handed off our group to another trainer for the day so he could supervise my first session. Giving me a little wave of his fingers, he turned around and I stood up to follow him inside the room. It was almost like the one I took my aptitude test in. Except there were no mirrors in here. Just a bare room set up with a chair and a computer on a little table next to it.

"Okay, so here's how it goes," he started as I finally got myself into the chair so he could hook the electrode to my temple. "I'll inject you with a sim serum, and monitor your session on the screen. Most people have about ten to fifteen fears so it can get messy in there fast. You need to try to remember to stay as calm as you can. Fight your way through the fear. If anything starts to go too wrong, I can pull you out."

"These stay confidential, right?"

Yes, I was freaking out. I knew Eric would probably show up in there, but I didn't know in what form. And I really didn't want anyone to know that I was afraid of him. Or ever thinking of him at all for that matter. But Four just nodded and went about typing on the keyboard and bringing up little readings charts and stuff on the monitor to my left.

"Doesn't leave this room. So you don't have to be worried about being embarrassed by your fears. Everyone's afraid of something. I'm not here to judge you on your fears, Ronnie. I'm here to help you get through them so they don't freeze you up and get you killed."

I nodded. Four could be a hard-ass at times, but he was actually a pretty nice guy when it came down to it. I'd never once in my time here ever heard anyone say anything bad about him. A lot of people admired him, actually. And I trusted him. Like, _really_ trusted him. Especially now that he'd helped save my life. I knew I was in good hands with Four.

"Ready?" He asked, pressing the syringe gun to my neck. I exhaled hard and nodded. The gun made a small hissing noise and I felt the needle go into my skin. His voice was the last thing I heard as I closed my eyes and the serum took affect. "See you on the other side."

* * *

_Sunlight poured in through the floor-to-ceiling windows that lined along the entire wall, bathing the entire room in a warm glow. I blinked. Wait. What? Why was I back at my parents' home in Candor? I didn't live here anymore. Dauntless was my home now. This didn't make any sense._

_The sound of gunfire and shattering glass downstairs grabbed my attention and I gasped before realizing it. Mom. Dad. I practically flew over my bed and rushed down the hall, taking the steps two or three at a time._

_"Mom?! Dad?! What happened?! Are you guys alright?!"_

_Silence. The room was empty. All the windows intact. No sign of anyone._

_"Mom?"_

_No answer. I made my way from the family room to the kitchen. Empty._

_"Dad?"_

_Again, nothing. A hard knot formed in my stomach. Something was wrong here. Something was very wrong. I grabbed two sharp knives from the butcher block on the counter. Not my throwing daggers, but they would have to do. Keeping the blades pointed back at my elbows in case I needed to fight someone off, I slowly crept around the corner to check out the study._

_The door was nearly closed. Weird. My dad hardly ever closed this door. In fact, hardly any of the doors in the house were ever closed because we never kept anything from each other. My parents could barely even hold it together long enough to make my birthday presents a surprise._

_Fingers still wrapped around the handle of the knife, I started to push the door open with my knuckles. And that's when the smell hit me. Coppery and just a touch sour. Blood. Someone was hurt. I shoved the door open and nearly dropped my weapons. The wall of windows on the other side was gone. Glass everywhere. Bullet holes all over the walls. My parents... Dead on the floor in a massive pool of deep crimson._

_"NO!"_

_I rushed forward only to be yanked back into the darkness of the hallway. I slammed against hard stone, smacking my head. But I knew the feel of what I'd hit without needing to look. The walls inside Dauntless. An almost inhuman growl filled my ears and something wrapped around my throat. A hand._

_"I'm tired of playing games with you, Ronnie."_

_Eric. My eyes shot open. He was looming over me, glaring down at me with the look I'd seen on his face that day in the stairwell at target practice. I went to fight him off, but my knives were gone. When did I lose them? Where did they go? His grip on my neck tightened. I struggled to breathe. Grabbed at his arm, trying to pry it away. But it was useless. I couldn't get free. And I was too scared to remember to fight properly._

_"Time to end this once and for all."_

_With one swift movement, he flung me over the edge of the walkway and down into the darkness of the chasm below._


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N:** Ready for a little sweetness, folks? Yeah, you are. You know you are.  
_

_As always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

Three days had passed since my first session with the fear landscapes and I was still jumpy. I wasn't sleeping right, either. But it wasn't all just from the sim. Part of it was because of the damned sling on my arm that kept me from laying on my side and getting comfortable in bed. I was seriously hating this stupid thing. But I couldn't take it off. My muscles and joints needed to heal and they couldn't do that if I was trying to move them all the time. It was just downright aggravating.

But today I was watching sparring matches. And holy hell, Gabe was getting better every single round. He was definitely heading in the right direction for Security Patrol. I cheered him on like it was a sporting event. Nearly fell off the little half wall I'd managed to perch myself on a couple times, too. I couldn't help it. I was so proud of him.

Then Gabe did this awesome move we'd seen Four pull off once before where he used the momentum of a lunge to flip his opponent head over heels and onto his back. It was one of the most epic defense-to-offense switch-ups I'd ever seen. I squealed with excitement and bounced up and down, damn near falling off the bricks yet again.

But a strong hand pressed flat against my back and kept me from toppling backwards. Surprised, I looked up and over to my left to see who could possibly be as unoccupied as I was today. Another jolt of surprise ran through me to see the side of Eric's face. The fear simulation flashed in my mind, but he didn't see the terror that entered my eyes for that brief instant. He was watching Gabe's match as if he hadn't even touched me at all.

"I see you're feeling better," he stated simply, still watching the Initiates on the floor.

"Um... Yeah..." I ripped my gaze from him and pretended to be watching the others instead. "A bit."

"And your fear sim didn't go so well."

I frowned. "No."

"You'll get better at it. You always do."

That downright shocked the living hell out of me. If I hadn't been already sitting, I might have fallen to the floor on that one. Did Eric actually say something... _genuinely nice_? I couldn't believe it. I was speechless.

"Hey, girlie!"

I looked over to see Alex jogging up with a silver pouch in his hand. His steps faltered for only a second when he saw Eric standing beside me, but he kept approaching. He held out the little pouch and a straw once he'd gotten close.

"Doc told me to bring you this. Med pouch."

"Thanks, Alex." I gave him a smile like nothing was going on and took the pouch from him. Doc had been sending them twice a day. A little cocktail of vitamins and pain killers and other meds to help everything heal up properly. Not the best tasting things as far as meds went but it was better than a handful of pills.

Alex gave me a smile of his own before nodding to Eric in respect. "Eric."

Eric grunted and nodded just a fraction of an inch. "Initiate."

And that was the end of that. As Alex turned and jogged off, I watched him. He'd been filling out fast these last couple of weeks. His shoulders had gotten broader, muscle roping around his arms and legs, defining clearly all over his body. Which, of course, I'd seen back at the dormitory. We didn't go as far as to see each other naked in there, thankfully. All of us had reached that agreement on the first day. We'd see nothing less than underwear on the opposite sex, no matter what. And it had been working out perfectly so far. But guys had a tendency to walk around without their shirts on in there, so it was unavoidable to notice how toned they were getting. How all our bodies were changing.

I felt the pouch being pulled from my hand, and I blinked up at Eric. He thrust the straw through a little white dot and handed it back to me. "Better drink up, Ronnie. We need that arm of yours to heal fully. I still want to see you put two daggers into the heart of one of those targets."

I sipped from the straw obediently, still in awe about how Eric was acting today. It was just so strange to not see him cold and angry. I had no idea what to really do with the situation. He just stood there, hands clasped behind his back, feet set shoulder-width apart, watching the sparring matches.

"Eric?"

Jeez, my voice sounded so small when I finally got up the nerve to speak. It annoyed me just a tiny bit, but I assumed it was safer to seem innocent for the moment. I didn't feel like I had the energy for an emotional roller coaster today. I peeked up at him without lifting my head too much. If he wasn't going to make it obvious that were were somewhat conversing, I wasn't about to either. He glanced back at me for a second before going back to his observations.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

My eyes fell to the pouch in my hand. "For saving me."

He didn't say anything. I felt a little pang of rejection, as if he didn't want me to feel like he had saved me for any reason other than I was a promising future member of the faction. And that kind of hurt a little.

Until I felt the slightest of brushes on my spine from his thumb.

* * *

I huffed with effort as I picked up another dagger, feeling the familiar weight of it between my index finger and thumb. Screw the doc. I was sick of not being able to do anything. Sick of standing on the sidelines. Sick of being too afraid of my first sim failure to ask Four for another shot at it. Sick of the confusion I'd been swimming in for three days now because of the way Eric had been acting.

I kept my body turned away from the targets down at the other end of the room, lifting my left hand over my head and grunted as I flung the blade at the blue plexi. I missed the outline of the target and the steel blade clattered noisily to the floor. Again. _Fucking shit!_ I slammed my fist on the table. This was driving me crazy. I couldn't hit the fucking target for shit with my right arm restricted like it was. And it was seriously pissing me off.

Part of me wanted to cry. To scream. Throw a massive hissy fit right there on the cold cement floor. I hated that I felt so damn useless right now. I could barely do anything in my condition when it came to my training. I couldn't run. I couldn't do push-ups. I couldn't spar. Couldn't throw my damn knives.

"You're going to have to adjust your stance to compensate for the loss of your arm."

I sighed, not even bothering to lift my head to watch him as he walked up to me. One thing that had become blatantly apparent about Eric over the past five weeks was that he could sneak up on anyone. Especially me. At least this time it didn't catch me by surprise. I was just too frustrated to even care at this point.

"I _am_ adjusting my stance, Eric. I can't do it. I'm missing every time."

"Come here." His hands took hold of my hips. Gentler than he'd ever been during any training session I'd had with him. But he still had enough firmness in them to easily move me where he wanted me to be. He tapped the inside of my foot with his boot. "Spread your legs just a little. Shoulder-width. Center your gravity between your feet. Keep your core tight. You're moving your whole upper body and that's not helping anything. It's only throwing you off."

He kept moving my body around until I was standing more like someone would with a bow and arrow. He straightened my left arm out and turned my head so that I was looking down it almost as if it were the barrel of my rifle. Then he pulled it back, bending my elbow and bringing my hand to my ear. Another straight stretch out and he released his hold on my arm just above my wrist.

"Fluid. Level. Not over your head. It's one motion, not twenty. When you go to release it, lean forward on your leg only a fraction to push the follow-through."

Then he handed me a dagger off the table and stepped back. I looked at him as he folded his arms over his chest and he titled his head in the direction of the target. I was doubtful, but I did like he'd shown and instructed. I centered myself between my feet. Brought the sharp metal beside my face instead of over my head. Leaned forward just slightly as I quickly straightened my arm out and released.

**THWACK.**

I stood in shock for a second. I hit the target. Dead center in the chest. I looked back at Eric, my eyes wide. He merely smirked back.

"I told you."

"I've been in here for over an hour trying to do this."

"I know. And you've been getting worse with every try because you're getting too emotional about it. You have to learn to remove yourself from your feelings, Ronnie. They only get in your way."

I looked away then, down at the table in front of me. "Is that what you do? Remove yourself from your feelings?"

I expected anger. I was used to that. But it wasn't what I got. I got flat out honesty.

"Yes."

I toyed with a blade on the old wooden surface, spinning it around and sending little flashes of light into my face. "Why?"

"Because emotion can get you killed."

I dared a glance up at him. He'd moved closer. "Not always, Eric. Sometimes, it can save your life."

"Sometimes. But not very often."

I sighed, pushing the blade away. "Eric..."

But the words just wouldn't come out easily. It was almost laughable. A Candor unable to speak her mind for once in her life.

"What?"

"I.." I huffed again. My gaze went to the ceiling, then around the room before settling back on him. "What are you playing at? I mean, really. Why do you do this to me? And why me? I just don't get it. I don't. You're so confusing. It's frustrating."

He stayed quiet for a long while. I felt a tugging in my chest. The feeling of wanting to cry. I couldn't do this anymore. I started to pass by him, to leave him in his silence, when he suddenly reached out and held it out level with my waist so I walked right into it. His other hand came around and grabbed my hip, spinning me to face him. I crashed into his broad, muscled chest, the thin fabric of his shirt the only thing separating my hands from his skin. I looked up, hopelessly confused at this point. His arms held our bodies together as his lips came down on mine. A softer kiss than any he'd given before, but emotion-ridden just the same.

"I'm trying, Ronnie," he murmured against my lips. "For you."

Then he let me go. I stumbled back, breathing heavily and weak-kneed. But he didn't move from where he stood. He was letting me walk away this time. So I did, glancing back several times before turning the corner and losing sight of the most confusing man I'd ever known in my life.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N:** Say CHEESE, fellow campers! Because friendships are important, and Ronnie loves her friends.  
_

_As always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

"I'm telling you, Ronnie, I 've never been so terrified in my life."

Darcy was sitting cross-legged to my right on my cot, my cast-covered arm resting gingerly on a pillow in her lap as she doodled on it with a marker she'd most likely gotten from the tattoo parlor in the pit. The once-white monstrosity on my arm was now being covered with signature tags and doodles and starting too look more like a piece of wall graffiti than a cast. I had started doing small stretches the last couple of days to loosen the muscles around my shoulder and keep them from losing too much of the strength I'd worked so hard to build up, and now everyone wanted to tag it with their names. Which I welcomed because I was getting sick of looking at it like it was.

"And we have to keep going through all that. Over and over and over. I just... I don't know how we're supposed to cope with being forced into our worst fears like that."

"It's to help us push through the fear, Darce," Gabe commented from across from me. "So we don't shut down in the face of things we might have to deal with."

"I know. It's just... You try being sealed up in a tiny box under six feet of dirt and see if you don't freak the fuck out."

"You weren't in a pit of vipers."

"Oh, gross." Darcy made a face of both fear and disgust.

"What was yours, Ronnie?" Alex asked from where he laid on Gabe's bunk.

We'd been talking about the fear sim for a good hour now. It helped to comfort each other after the sims so we could try to get through the rest of the day. I listened to all my friends and how badly they were dealing with their fears.

"Someone broke into my parents' place in Candor. Killed them and left them for me to find."

"Shit, Ronnie," Gabe breathed, reaching for my hand. "That's awful."

I nodded. "Yeah, and then someone grabbed me and threw me into the chasm."

I left out the part where it had been Eric who'd done it during my first try in the sim. Because it hadn't been him today. It was some masked stranger this time around. Which was frankly a bit of a relief in a way. But I saw the way Gabe cringed at the mention of a reenactment of my accident last week. He gave my hand another gentle squeeze, and I squeezed back.

"I would say I'll trade you being in a elevator plummeting down a hundred stories, but I think I'll just keep it."

Darcy stopped doodling just long enough to snatch up her jacket and launch it over at Alex. I hit him square in the face, and he made a big show out of how badly it hurt him, rolling around on Gabe's bed until he fell on the floor. I started laughing so hard I fell back into the wall behind me, smacking my head on the stone.

"Ow," I groaned between giggles. Darcy snorted, covering her mouth to hide her own laughter. Personal injury certainly seemed to be on of the best ways to lighten the mood around this place. We were an odd group. But I loved them and wouldn't trade them for anything.

"Time," Gabe said softly. "Time to put the sling back on."

"You're seriously keeping track of how long she's got that thing off?" Alex's voice came from the floor, slightly strained as he pulled himself up.

"Of course. We don't want to push it too far. Ronnie's like, our start player, dude. Gotta take care of her."

"And you're the cheesiest guy I've ever seen in my life," Darcy teased, capping her marker as I slipped the sling back on and nestled my cast inside it.

"Hush before I pin you down and lick your face."

"_Ewwwww! Gross!_"

I laughed again. "You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you two had a thing for each other."

The pillow that had been in Darcy's lap was suddenly in my face, knocking me back into the wall again. At least this time I hit my back and not my head so I could whack her with the pillow while laughing with the rest of my friends.

"He's always holding your hand," she quipped between giggles and pillow dodges. "Not mine."

"You hold my hand, too!" I smacked her again. "What are you trying to say about that?"

"You have soft hands?"

I smacked Alex with the pillow. He fell back against Gabe's cot with a grunt.

"Well, he's not wrong," Gabe commented, automatically raising his hands in preparation for a swipe from me.

"I hate you all," I lied with a grin. I put the pillow behind my head as I leaned back against the wall. But after a soft sigh, my tone turned serious again. "Guys. I don't think we should tell if we come up in each other's fear landscapes."

"Why not?" Alex pulled himself up off the floor to sit on the left side of my legs. The bed was seriously overcrowded now, but I didn't mind. "I don't think keeping it a secret is a good idea, Ronnie."

"I don't want to hear about you watching me die or something, Alex. About any of you facing something like that. I... I don't know if I could handle the look on your faces."

"But what if it does come up?" Darcy leaned against my shoulder, but the pressure was light enough not to bother me.

"Then just know that no matter what, I love you guys. You're my best friends in the whole world. And losing me shouldn't be something you fear. Because if I died in your sim, it would mean that I had given my life to save you or an innocent civilian. If I'm going down, I'm going down Dauntless. Fear can kiss my ass."

We all nodded, but there was a touch of sadness in our brave looks. Losing one of our group would be awful, yes. But we were Dauntless. We'd die fighting, taking down as many enemies as we could until out last breath. No ifs, ands, or buts.

"Okay, you know I love you guys," Alex piped up after a moment. "But this is getting really cheesy. And I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry," Darcy teased.

"Growing boy's gotta eat," he retorted with a grin and obnoxious flex of his biceps.

"You're lucky Ronnie's using the pillow or I'd make you eat that."

"Then you wouldn't have a pillow."

"I'd just take yours."

"Are you sure you don't have a thing for him, too, Darce?"

She slapped my thigh for that one.

* * *

Dinner was as rowdy as always. Dauntless liked to talk loud and laugh even louder at chow time. At least I wasn't afraid to see Eric sitting at his usual table. No, now it was just really awkward when his eyes met mine for a second and then flashed away quickly. I knew he'd never let anyone see him as anything but the hard-ass with a chip on his shoulder and I tried to not let it bother me. He had an image to keep up, after all.

"Oh, _hell yes_," Alex damn near shouted in my ear as we sat down. "Steak!"

Darcy laughed and quickly set to work cutting one up for me. I rolled my eyes. "You're such a dork, Alex."

"Hey," Tara quipped quickly, popping a piece of meat into her mouth. "Steak is a very important food group."

"That's my girl!"

They high-fived each other across the table, and I rolled my eyes again, reaching for my water to take a big gulp. Darcy traded her plate of cut up steak with my empty one and set to work on fixing one for herself. "They're screwing."

I choked on my water. Tara dropped her fork. Alex looked like he was about to fall off the bench. Poor Gabe didn't know who to keep looking at.

"_Alex!_" I coughed a few more times, trying to set the cup down without spilling it everywhere.

"We are _not_ screwing," he insisted.

"Okay, so not _yet_." Darcy kept cutting as if nothing had just happened.

"Darcy, seriously!"

"Did I miss something here?" Gabe was looking between Alex and Tara, utterly confused.

"No, you didn't miss anything," Tara answered. "Darcy doesn't know what she's talking about."

"I'm not saying that it would be a bad thing, you know. But anyone can see you two are like, perfect for each other."

"_Darcy!_"

Thankfully, Alex's wailing plea was lost in the din of the noise around us. I couldn't help it. I started laughing. I looked over at Darcy, and it seemed like she had just come up with the exact same thought I did.

"_Alex and Tara, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_"

"You two are _so_ juvenile," Alex groaned.

"I can't believe we're friends with them," Tara added, trying not to smile at Darcy and my continued chorus of the age-old nursery rhyme. Which we sang loud and with gusto.


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N:** Okay, so I made a little change to the title since in writing this chapter I discovered there was actually two themes to this story rather than just one. (I'd been thinking something was missing with it anyway, so once I realized that I needed to change the title, I'm fully satisfied with it now.) So, yeah. Here's a sneaky chapter post for all of you since I'm technically supposed to be napping right now, but I love leaving for a few hours after a good cliff-hanger. We're getting into some mind games with this one, folks. *wicked grin*  
_

_As always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

I couldn't help but fidget as I sat in the sterile room waiting for my turn for the fear landscape sim. I hated having to see my parents on the floor every single time and know there was nothing I could do about it. It was wearing me down. But Four had explained to us that there were some fears that we just couldn't change or overcome. Death of loved ones was usually one of those fears. But not letting it freeze us was important.

"Yes, it's scary," he'd told us. "Yes, it's even sad sometimes. But if you spend too much time focusing on it it's going to put you in a place that you can't escape from. It's going to put you in the cross-hairs of something worse. You have to push through it, no matter how hard it might be. Face that fear head on and think only one thing: _This will not stop me. This will not break me._"

It was good advice, as usual. I repeated the little mantra over and over in my head as another Initiate left the room and he waved me in. It was still a little awkward getting into the chair, but I was getting better at it. Four silently prepped the screens and hooked me up as I practiced my breathing to fight off the nerves.

"Gonna fight back again today?" He asked, picking up the injector.

"Hell, yes," I answered firmly.

"Good girl."

* * *

_Seeing my parents on the floor in a pool of blood made a boiling rage rise up in my throat. I didn't go into the room this time. Their killer wasn't going to be there. Instead, I turned left and continued down the hall, raising my arms to prepare to defend myself. My kitchen knives were bigger, the tops of the blades pressing lightly against my forearms and the razor-sharp edges ready to slash as soon as I took a swing._

_I whipped around the instant I heard the growl behind me. But I found myself slammed against the wall of the Dauntless pathway and without my knives just the same as last time. But I was not about to let this bastard toss me over without a giving him a good fight first. He was too far away to knee in the groin and too close for me to get my foot in between us to kick him off the ledge, but I could definitely drive my shin up into his balls. And I did. At the same time, I swung my arm around the outside of his, crossed it over the inside of his elbow, grabbed my own wrist for extra strength, and yanked down as hard as possible to break his hold on my neck. My monster yelled in pain and rage, but staggered back just like I wanted him to. With a fierce cry, I kicked him as hard as I could, sending him over the ledge instead of me._

_Panting from adrenaline, I stepped back. The wall was gone now, and so was the floor. I fell into a darkness that seemed to actually absorb any trace of light that dared touch it. Painfully, I landed on my back with a echoing thud. This was new. I hadn't gotten this far yesterday. Groaning, I tried pushing myself up. Only to find my hands sinking into what I had thought was a metal floor. The inky blackness started to suck me down. I couldn't get up. Couldn't roll over. I tried to look for something to help me, frantically searching for any kind of leverage. But every movement only trapped me further. I was sinking fast. I was panicking. I tried to scream, but the darkness swallowed the sound and invaded my mouth and throat. And then it enveloped me completely._

* * *

The bass of the music that filled the pit thrummed through my body, and I felt like even the very cells I was made of were vibrating. There was something hypnotic about the environment tonight. The way the lights danced off the marble walls. The way the chords of the electric guitars rang out in a heavy yet beautiful melody. The heat of the bodies surrounding me as we moved to the beat without thinking. But I was pretty sure that could just be the alcohol talking because I was, once again, drunk and giddy.

I saw my friends dancing and drinking, drowning out the stress of our fear landscape simulations this week, and it made me smile inside and out. It was a good thing for us to get out and stop thinking about the horrors we were being forced to face. But then again, that was part of the program. Push yourself to your breaking point, then keep going. It was hard. And it was supposed to be. We were the protectors of the people. We went through the pain so they wouldn't have to.

I wasn't dancing with anyone in particular tonight. I just moved with a cluster that had congregated in the middle of the room. It had a nice feel of anonymity to it that I just found myself pulled to without even knowing it. I felt safe there. Like one of a thousand fish swimming in a giant swarm in the ocean. Even though my arm was back in the sling after some extremely persistent begging from Gabe despite my protests that it felt fine, I actually didn't feel hindered at all. No, tonight I felt fabulous and free.

Of course, I spotted Eric lurking in the shadows of an upper level after a while. He made it seem like all he was doing was observing the activities of the crowd, but I knew better. He was watching me. Watching to see who I talked to. Who I danced with. How much I drank. I must have been getting used to him doing things like this because I didn't care. Or maybe the alcohol helped with that one, too.

An arm snaked around my waist, and I leaned back into a male body, but my eyes stayed fixed on Eric. I watched his jaw twitch and his grip on the railing he was leaning on tighten. Yep. He was the jealous type. As if I had forgotten the night of my accident. He'd been giving off jealous glares then, too. But that time I was pissed. Tonight, however... Tonight, I liked it. I liked the way he looked like he was about to stomp over and beat the living shit out of whoever I was dancing with. It made me think of what he'd do next. Grab me. Pull me away from the crowd. Take me somewhere dark and private. Continue what we'd started on the rooftop weeks ago.

Biting my lip, I decided to continue my torture another song longer. The sense of power I was feeling might have been a complete illusion brought on by the booze, but dammit, I liked how it felt. Watching Eric harden into steel right before my eyes was almost as intoxicating as the stuff mingling with the blood in my veins tonight. It made my mouth water and my body fill with need. Made me want to break rules. Live dangerously.

I finally hit my own breaking point and silently slipped free from the pulsating mob. It was the first time in who knows how long I broke eye contact with Eric, and when I glanced back up to where he'd been mere seconds later, he was nowhere to be seen. I wasn't sure how to take that but it didn't stop me, either. I needed to get out of here.

I quickly pulled the strap on my sling free from its adjuster rings and slipped the whole thing off. I hadn't wanted to wear the damned thing in the first place. I was sick of it. I carried it, crumpled in my hand, as I turned down a dimly lit pathway. I didn't pass anyone. Most of the Dauntless members were either down in the pit or in bed by now. It was late enough for a few to have already called it a night. So the only sound was the soft thud of my boots on the stone floor and the dulling noise floating up from the pit.

Suddenly, I was being lifted off my feet by a pair of very strong arms and spun around into one of the dark little nooks that occasionally popped up along any of the hallways in Dauntless. And before I could catch my breath enough to let out any noise of protest, my mouth was covered by the very lips that haunted my dreams, his tongue demanding entrance. I felt Eric's knees slide between mine and I was lifted yet again, higher this time. My legs wrapped around his hips and I threw my shoulder sling to the floor. My back was pressed against the wall to hold me in place as his hands went up my tank top. His lips left mine and quickly found themselves pressed to my neck just before he licked a hot trail along the length of my collar bone. I moaned at the ceiling. One of his hands ceased its fiery assault on my ribcage and covered my mouth.

"Shhhhhhh..."

The soft sound in my ear sent electric tingles down to my toes. I gripped his shirt tightly with my good hand, desperate to have it gone. I wanted to feel his skin against mine. I wanted to watch the muscles of his chest and abdomen tighten when my fingers brushed over them. I wanted to leave the same fire in their wake as he left on me with his. I wanted to watch the fire blaze up into his eyes. To watch it consume him. To watch it consume me.

"I know what you were doing down there, Ronnie," he growled deeply yet still quietly. I could hear the lust on his tongue, blending with that delicious edge of danger into something downright bestial that excited me even more. Slowly, his hand slid from my mouth down to my hip. "Making me jealous like that isn't exactly the smartest thing to do. Because I'm extremely possessive, too. What's mine is mine. And no one touches what's mine."

Somewhere in the haze of alcohol and lust, I found the words to push him further and continue testing him. I lowered my lips to his ear so I could whisper in the very same tone as him. "But, Eric... I still haven't said yes to you."

"You will."

"Hmm. And how do you know that?"

"Because if you didn't want me, you would have fought harder that morning on the mats instead of moaning for me."

Oh, he was good. I remembered that day, too. Very vividly. I smirked down at him, still trying to play up a bit of slyness.

"Well, then. I don't suppose you also have an idea as to when that will be, do you?"

His cocky grin graced his lips once more. Without warning, he reached behind his back to unlock my feet and slide me back down to the floor. One more searing kiss and a single word is all he gave me before stepping away and disappearing into the hallway.

"Soon."


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N:** So sorry I didn't update last night, guys. I made myself sad by skipping ahead and writing out one of Ronnie's fear sims for a future chapter and then had to catch up on some much-needed sleep. So unfortunately, I only have one chapter to put up right now. But it's a little long so maybe that makes up for it?  
_

_Anyways. I'm loving these comments. You guys are great. (Fangirl0012345 made me laugh so hard.)_

_As always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

The doc's fingers lightly trailed along my bicep up along the top of my shoulder as her kept my arm held straight out to my side, lightly adding pressure in a few places. I sat still, keeping my eyes on the wall on the other side of the room. It was merely an evaluation of my progress, but I was a ball of nerves. Not just because this was going to decide if I was fit enough to return to training, but also because Four and Eric were standing by the door watching. Hell, even Max had dropped in to look over my new scans. The main Dauntless leader himself.

"Alright, Ronnie. Bring your arm back until you feel a pull."

I did as instructed, moving my arm back slowly until it was nearly as far back as I could get it before the night of the accident. Doc grunted in approval and moved it back to starting position.

"Good. Now forward and across your body, but keep your elbow straight."

I went a complete 180 degrees from my back reach.

"Any pulling that time?"

"No, this is normal for an easy reach. Boobs get in the way for any more."

He nodded, trying to hide a snicker and stay professional. "Good. Good. You're healing quickly, which is a good sign. The tearing was surprisingly minimal considering how hard you yanked on everything. Your training saved more than just your life. The muscle strength you've built up has ensured you the use of your arm."

I smiled smugly. My gazed flicked over to the doorway. Four looked pleased. But he rightly should. He was a good trainer. He pushed me to do better than I thought I could. Go farther. Eric's expression, on the other hand, didn't change from the speculating one he'd had on the entire examination. I quickly returned to watching the wall.

"How long until she can go back to training?"

It was the first time he'd said anything. It surprised me a little, but not enough to look at him for any longer than just a flashing glance. I was still trying to figure him out. He'd been so cold and harsh, then suddenly all fire and passion, and then right back to being cold. And after I'd gotten hurt, he'd thrown me off again by showing a little tenderness, if only for just brief moments. He was utterly confusing and it kept me in a constant tailspin. I mean, I knew he had an image to keep up. That I understood clearly. But until I could come to at least some sort of theory about him, I was going to keep losing this game we'd been playing.

"I'm going to clear her for light duty only right now. Jogging, not running. And she should wear her sling if she starts to feel any pain in her shoulder. We need to work more on building the strength back up gradually before throwing her back into the heavy stuff."

"But it feels fine," I insisted, turning my attention back to the doc.

"I'm sure it does, Ronnie. But if you start off with too much too fast, you're going to not only reopen the tears, but you'll do more damage and cause scarring in the muscles and tendons. And that can cost you in the long run. I mean it. Just do the stretches, add weight gradually. You'll be back to jumping off the trains faster than you think."

I nodded. I wasn't going to argue. I certainly didn't want to lose any mobility in my arm. I wanted to be a good soldier. I wanted to be as good as Four and Max and Eric. I didn't want a weak shoulder holding me back. Something someone could use against me in some way. I didn't want to end up losing my life because some shithead jerked my arm back and crippled me from pain.

"And the cast?"

The doc made a contemplative face at Max's question. "The fractures are healing quickly. I'd say... Two more weeks? We'll do another scan next week to check on everything again, but with what I've heard about this one, I wouldn't be surprised if she was fully recovered from everything by then."

Max made a noise of approval and stepped away from the monitor beside the doc. "Well, she's one of our most promising Initiates. She's come far since she started her training. We expect great things from her."

That made me happy. Even proud. People were talking about me more than I'd thought. I was used to getting congratulatory slaps on the back and words of encouragement when I passed by some of the other Dauntless members. But I had no idea that I had come up in discussions by the ones with authority. Especially Max. To impress faction members and my trainers was one thing, but for our main leader to hold me with such high regard is almost mind-blowing.

"Well, I'm willing to bet you're going to get it from this one." 

* * *

"Still good?"

Four had slowed down to hang back with me as I began to lag behind the others while we all jogged through the city later that morning. I had to admit I was getting a little winded by now. Too much rest had started making me a little soft. But I wasn't about to stop yet. I wanted to finish the entire run.

"Yep."

I straightened a bit. Kept my eyes forward. I didn't hear Four speak again for several blocks.

"You need to be careful around him."

I flicked him a questioning glance. "Huh?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Ronnie. I'm Intelligence. I see a lot more than people think I do. Like the way you look at each other. Especially when you don't think anyone's around."

"Four..."

He held up a hand. "I don't want to know. Just watch yourself around him. Because it might not end well."

"Why? Because he's a leader?"

"Because he's Eric. Eric does what he wants, and he doesn't exactly care who gets in the way."

"So you think he's playing me."

He hardened his expression for a moment. "I don't know. He's smart. He can hide his emotions and his motives and keep everyone in the dark until the last second. He's really good at making you think he's playing one hand when he's really playing another."

"So you _do_ think he's just playing with me."

We crossed over a set of train tracks and started to follow the path that ran beside it. Four went quiet for a minute, like he was thinking. Maybe he was analyzing everything he'd seen in his head. He was in Intelligence, after all.

"I don't know. Like I said, he's good at hiding things."

Well, that wasn't what I wanted to hear no matter how much I actually expected it. Eric had a special knack for confusing everyone. Too bad I couldn't do that. Or could I? I'd always been very open and truthful growing up in Candor. That was how the faction operated. No secrets, no lies. But here in Dauntless, you could keep secrets. You could hide things from people if you didn't want them to know something. I'd been learning how to do that by hiding Eric from pretty much everyone. So why couldn't I hide myself from Eric? Make _him_ be the confused one for once.

"So what if I played him?"

Four shot me a look I couldn't quite determine the meaning of. Surprise? Caution? Maybe both? His hand was on my elbow then, gently tugging and making me stop. He watched the rest of the group pull ahead before leaning down just enough so that he could keep his voice low and our words private.

"Are you seriously considering getting yourself into something with him, Ronnie? What happens when it doesn't work? When he loses his temper?"

That day at target practice flashed through my mind. The look of pure rage in his eyes after I had refused him on the roof. It still gave me chills to think about it.

"Ronnie, he's dangerous."

"I know, but-"

"_But_? There is no '_but_' about this, Ronnie. He doesn't get his way and he loses it. He becomes a war machine that crushes anything and anyone in his path."

"So you don't think there's any hope for him. You don't think that he can be anything more than some ruthless Dauntless soldier."

I was pushing the line now. I knew I was getting too close to crossing that barrier that separated me from Four as initiate and trainer. Puffing my chest and forgetting that he was my superior just because he'd struck a nerve. He knew it, too. And was quick to knock me back down.

"Watch you words with me, Ronnie. I'm coming to you nicely right now. If I wanted to, I could order you to stop seeing him. You're not full Dauntless yet, no matter how high your ranking is in the class."

My eyes fell to the ground. I took a step back. "I'm sorry."

I heard him sigh. "Look. I'm not getting in the middle of this. I'm just telling you to be careful. Okay?"

I nodded. He inclined his head back down the path and we started off to catch up to the others. However short, our conversation gave me something to think about. I'd seen how Eric reacted to my rejection. How he was able to separate himself from his emotions. How he could surprise me by showing the emotion I wanted. I realized that I'd actually been studying him without even knowing it. And that he'd been showing me how to play his little game all along. But while I'd been wasting time trying to figure him out, I should have been trying to make him figure me out instead. So that now he knew too much about me and I was still in the dark. I wanted to kick myself. 

* * *

I finished the run with the group, and that made me proud. But my shoulder was starting to burn from the jostling, and that annoyed me. It combined with my realizations about Eric and his little mind game and twisted my mood into an unpleasant one. So I was back to wearing my sling and a sullen face during lunch while Darcy fixed me up with a plate that only needed one hand to eat with.

"You should see it as an accomplishment," Gabe pointed out, trying to help. "It's your first day back and you're running a whole session around the city. That's going to get spread around fast in this place."

"He's right," Tara agreed. "I've already heard the other Dauntless-born talking about it. You've got them nervous, Ronnie."

"Nervous?" I blinked, looking up from my plate. "Why?"

"Because they were hoping to finally knock you down on the rankings board. You'd be surprised how important that is to some of them."

I smirked. I don't know why, but the idea of being seen as a threat to some of the other Initiates was appealing. "Yeah, well, they can keep dreaming. I'm gonna be back to full speed soon, and they're never gonna get to take my spot."

"That's my girl," Darcy chirped. "Our Dauntless Ronnie. Toughest of them all."

"To Ronnie!" Gabe held his cup in the air.

"To Ronnie!" The little cheer was lost in the noise of the lunch crowd, but it didn't matter. I ducked my head anyway, covering my face and laughing.

"You guys are idiots."

"Yeah," Alex replied. "But we're your idiots. Nothing you can do about that one, my dear."

I rolled my eyes, but I still grinned. "I could get new friends."

"But what will I do with the tattoo of your name I got on my ass?"

I snorted. "You did not."

He grinned and shook his head. "No, but I'm getting streaks put in tonight."

"Yes!" Tara threw her fists straight up in the air, obviously excited. "And spike it!"

Alex had darker hair than I did, and he'd been letting it get longer on the top while tapering it shorter down the rest of his head. It was kind of like this soft wave of espresso that sloped toward his face and then down to the right. He'd spent forever retraining his hair to lay just how he wanted it. But it was worth his efforts. It set off the gold tone in his hazel eyes and I thought it suited him a hell of a lot better than the short and sculpted thing he used to do back in Candor.

"After I've finally gotten it to stay like this? Are you nuts?"

Tara shrugged. "Fine then."

"That reminds me, though," Gabe commented. "I've been thinking of getting a new tattoo."

"I think I'm good on that front for the moment. Just gonna do the hair tonight."

Out of all of us, Alex had been the one to get bitten the hardest by the body modification bug. Since our initial outing to the parlor in the pit, he'd gotten his left eyebrow pierced, a wolf paw print on the inside of his forearm just below his elbow, a sun with the Dauntless symbol inside it between his shoulders that he added extra flames to it just days later, and had just gotten three big slash marks done across his ribs last week. At least I thought that's all he'd gotten. Since we had the 'no nudity' rule set in the dormitory, I never saw his legs. But I wouldn't be surprised if he'd gotten something put on them, too.

"You know what?" I bit into my burger Darcy had fixed up for me. "I'll go with you guys."

"Hair or tattoos?" Gabe asked.

"Hair. I've gotten an idea for a new tattoo set, but it's not ready yet."

"Yeah?" Alex leaned on his elbow. "What did you have in mind?"

"A band piece for my fear landscape."

Darcy tilted her head as she stabbed her fork into a burger patty and dropped in onto her plate. "How do you mean?"

"A solid band for each one I face and conquer." I traced my finger around my left forearm with my cast-covered hand. Then did it again, but stopping about three quarters of the way around. "A broken one for the ones I haven't conquered or can't change."

"Like your parents," Alex commented. "A broken band because that's one thing you're probably never going to solve."

"Exactly."

"That's a really good idea." Gabe pointed his fork at me in excitement. "I'm stealing it. I'll put them on my legs. For like, standing my ground against them."

"Ooh, I really like that," Tara agreed, passing Darcy a bun from the tray near her. "And then, if you conquer a fear later on, just fill in the band."

I nodded. "But I'm not going to start up the count until I get further into my landscape. I'm only up to three so far. I'll only be able to get to more if I can control my reaction to them."

"It's still early," Alex chimed in. "Not many of us have faced more than maybe two of our fears. It's kind of hard to remember to control your breathing and lower your heart rate in those damn sims."

Before I could comment, another Initiate from our transfer group came jogging up to our table. "Guys, I just got a heads up from one of the standing members. Fear sims are cancelled for the afternoon."

"What?" Darcy set her burger back down on her plate. "Why?"

"Problem with the Factionless. Four and Eric had to go help out. Apparently there's a big fight over dwelling space or something. So we're supposed to stay here. Eric and Four's orders."

"Huh," Tara mused as he went off to tell another group. "Well, that's new. Free day."

Alex smirked. "Well, I guess we can go down to the pit after lunch instead of later tonight."


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N:** YAY, ANOTHER CHAPTER! And yes, Eric is back in this one... Kinda. XD  
_

_As always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

Apparently we weren't the only Initiates who had gotten the idea to do a little body modification this afternoon. Nearly all of them were down there with us, and every station was open and busy marking and piercing someone in it. Even a few of the older members were milling around while they waited for a chair to open up. So we found a place to climb up on to watch until it was our turn.

A few hours later, Alex had red streaks in his hair, Tara had fresh bands of linked chain on both her biceps, Darcy had added Dauntless fire around her Erudite tribute piece on her arm, and Gabe put a mesh pattern in the inch or so of space between his solid bands on his arms. I had mimicked Alex in the hair streaking, and now my dark curls were graced by several deep crimson ones in random places.

We were watching an impromptu series sparring matches, sitting up on a couple of huge marble blocks to get a good view, when I saw a few dirt-covered soldiers crossing one of the bridges over the chasm. As they filed in from the hallway and went about their business, it looked like they'd managed to break things up with maybe only a minor fight. No one came in very beaten, and no calls for medics were made. It made me feel a little better, which was a little weird since I hadn't even realized I was worried at all.

And then he walked in. I felt my heart give a little thump at his slightly disheveled appearance, and suddenly I was imagining him in the shower. Which didn't help my attempt at nonchalance. I felt like my entire body had just went red, but I guess I got off lucky this time because they were a little preoccupied watching the soldiers come back in to notice me drooling all over myself at the thought of a naked and wet Eric.

"Looks like everything went pretty okay out there," Darcy commented before turning her attention back to the match. "You call that a punch?! You missed by a mile!"

Alex, who was sitting on a block with Tara beside the one I was sharing with Darcy and Gabe, started laughing. "Easy there, killer. It's not a blood match."

Darcy just rolled her eyes while I giggled and passed her a bottle of water. "Still should've been able to land that, though."

"It's only to blow off steam and stay loose, Darce," I commented in return to her grumble. "Tell you what. After I get this thing off, you and me can spar. Full contact."

Gabe shifted beside me in surprise. "You have been watching her in practice, right?"

"Of course." I flashed Darcy a grin and a wink. "I think I can still take her."

"Oh, you are _so_ on." She puffed up her little chest in mock bravado. "I'm gonna kick your ass, Ronnie. Just you wait."

I laughed and pushed my shoulder against hers. "You better bring all you got, Darce. I've been itching to get back in the ring. Got a lot of pent-up frustration that needs to be let loose."

She grinned. "Can't wait." 

* * *

I'd managed to keep my eyes off Eric the entire way through dinner. Thinking about things he'd said during our little encounters, it had started clicking in my head and showing me just how to play with him the way he was playing with me. Separate myself from my emotions. Don't let anyone see that I wanted him. The desire could flow inside, but the outside should stay calm and cool. Just go about my daily life with my friends and be normal.

And that's what I was doing. Laughing and joking with the gang around our meal, discussing our training and analyzing our strengths and how to compensate for our weaknesses. I was acting like Eric didn't even exist in any manner other than being a member of the faction and a trainer. And it felt okay to do so. I was getting in too deep with him too fast. I needed to step back and clear my head. Put everything in order. My training was supposed to be coming before any kind of romance anyway. And Eric had interrupted that.

But then again, it was because of him that I had become even more determined to do well than before I had come to Dauntless. He fueled the fire inside me to do my best and still keep striving to improve. To be brave and strong and not let any weakness show. To prove to not only him, but to everyone, that I had what it took to be a Dauntless soldier. He'd been teaching me more than I ever even knew.

"So, what do you guys feel like doing?"

I shrugged at Gabe's voice behind me as we started to leave to mess hall. "Hang out at the pit, I guess?"

"Sounds good to me." Darcy looped her arm through mine as soon as she could step up to my side. "More sparring matches?"

"Trying to get tips so you can beat Ronnie?"

Darcy whipped her head back at Gabe and stuck out her tongue. I laughed and ruffled her hair. "It's still going to be a friendly match, Gabe. But I need to get back in the ring, and she's the perfect scrapper to go a few rounds with."

"Awwwww, you're such a sweetie, Ronnie," Darcy crooned, playfully hanging on my arm with an overly exaggerated lovey-dovey face. It made me laugh again.

"Sweeter than honey," I crooned back in the same cheesy tone.

"Well, I don't know about you guys," Tara chimed in with a slight eye roll. "But I'm gonna go get changed. I'll meet you guys in the pit."

I looked down at my clothes, the same ones I'd put on this morning for training. Just like everyone else. We hadn't bothered to change after lunch, too excited about going down to the pit to spend the afternoon together. I made a little grunt of agreement.

"Yeah, I think I'll change, too."

I heard the others agree with me, and we quickly set off for the dormitory. 

* * *

The nightly Dauntless party was just getting underway when we got back down to the pit, music pouring from the speakers in its usual bass-driven rhythm. Tara waved to us from the marble blocks we'd been perched on earlier in the afternoon, and we slipped through the gathering crowd to join her. Darcy brushed her copper bangs away from her eyes, titling her head to take in Tara's outfit after we'd climbed on top of the huge stones.

"How the hell did you get up here in a skirt that tight?"

I wondered the same thing. Tara's skirt was like a second skin wrapping around her toned thighs. She grinned and jerked her head back in the direction of the crowd. "Boys will do anything for a girl in a skirt. I just had a couple of them lift me up."

I snickered and shook my head. Darcy and I had gotten a couple of dresses and skirts for our outings down in the pit, but we'd yet to wear them. I'd decided to wait until after I'd gotten my cast off because it just felt weird to me to be wearing something like that with this monstrosity on my arm. Darcy was waiting for just the right Dauntless male to come along. Which had gotten me to comment that he'd show up as soon as she strutted around in it, especially since her figure was shaping up so well. So tonight we'd just slipped on pants and tank tops of equal snugness as the rest of our clothes.

"And how are you getting down?"

Tara batted her eyes at Alex in response to his question. "Then I'll have someone lower me down, silly. I'm sure I can find a few volunteers around here somewhere."

"Hey, Ronnie."

I turned my head to the voice off to the right of where I sat. Dalton, the guy I'd been dancing with the night I fell, was leaning on the edge of the marble block, looking up at me. Man, was he pretty to look at. Blonde hair styled up into a short faux-hawk, light grey eyes that hinted little specks of dark blue, long straight nose, gorgeous smile. It was a shame I'd caught interest in Eric before meeting him.

"Hey, Dalton," I smiled as I greeted him back.

"How you been? Arm getting better?"

I nodded. "Just a week or two to go until I get the cast off."

"That's good. Maybe you'll be able to go out for War Games with your group then."

"I hope so. I really don't want to miss out on that."

"And you shouldn't. It's actually a lot of fun. If you don't get shot, that is."

I snickered. "Yeah. I've heard the stories. Do the stim darts really feel like being shot by a real bullet?"

"Supposedly. I've never been shot by a real bullet so I can't tell you for sure."

I nodded again, trying to ignore Darcy's elbow in my ribs. I knew what she was thinking. That I should go off with Dalton and have fun. And I was tempted to, in all honesty. Dalton was hot. And he seemed interested in me. But I really didn't want Eric to beat the living crap out of him just because he'd seen us together again.

"I'll see you around later, yeah?"

"Oh, I'll be around. You can count on that."

He grinned a little wider, flashing me a wink before slowly pushing off the marble block and walking away. Darcy immediately pounced.

"Oh. My. _Shit_. He is _so_ into you, Ronnie! What are you doing letting him walk off like that?!"

I rolled my eyes. "He's four years older than me, Darce. And I'm sure he's got other girls flocking to be with him. Plus, I'm only an Initiate. We're not supposed to be hooking up with soldiers just yet."

"Fuck that! He's gorgeous!" She whipped her head back in the direction Dalton had went, but he was already gone. "I'd go for him if he showed interest."

"Then go put on your skirt and go get him."

"Yeah, no. That's okay."

I shrugged and grabbed at the bottle Gabe had set down on the stone so he could climb up with us, taking a big swig while he huffed about getting my own if I wanted a drink. Then I smirked at her, the obvious dare plastered all over my face. "I thought you were Dauntless, Darce."


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N:** Okay, okay, I'll give you guys a little tiny Eric/Ronnie moment in this one. After a few shocking twists, of course! ;) Feel free to fangirl all over the place like I did. XD  
_

_As always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

A couple hours later, my dare had paid off. Darcy was out in the crowd, grinding with a Dauntless guy. Not Dalton, no. But in a shocking twist to all of us, with _Riz_. The very guy that had gotten shoved into me and knocked me off the ledge of the pathway. We had made our peace just a couple days after my release from the infirmary, and I had made it clear that I didn't blame him in any way for the accident.

I ribbed Gabe with my elbow, pointing over at them when I'd discovered the sight. Riz was a guy of medium build, just short of six feet tall, with white on the tips of his jet black hair that he styled like Dalton but was just a touch shorter. Both his ears were gauged just slightly, graced with solid black plugs. He had flames licking up his forearms starting at his wrists, the Dauntless symbol centered on the front right at the bottom of the tattoos. And with his arms wrapped around Darcy, his fingers running her copper-colored hair dotted with black micro-braids in random places, I had to appreciate the sinfully delicious way they were behaving. They looked good together. And I was so damn proud of my little trooper.

"Think we'll see her trying to sneak in before she thinks we'll all be up in the morning?"

I laughed and downed another shot. "They way they're going? Probably."

Gabe looked back over in their direction and shook his head, his grin still plastered all over his face. "I just can't wrap my head around it. I can't. Like... That's just... That's Darcy. _Our Darcy_. But it's almost like she's someone else right now."

"Yeah," I agreed with a laugh. "But I like it. And Riz is actually a good guy."

"True." He downed another shot of the blue alcohol we'd been sharing. "Is it too early to say I like the idea of them together?"

"Hell, I'm already hoping they hook up tonight. He's only two years older than us, you know." I glanced around the swarm of bodies and nearly dropped my shot glass. "_Holy fucking shit!_"

Gabe twisted around, trying to see what I had. "What? What is it?"

I pointed. On the other side of the crowd, Alex had Tara pinned up against the wall, his mouth plastered to hers. He had one hand up above his head for balance and the other on her hip while her hands were moving up and down under the back of his shirt while she arched herself into him. I didn't know if I was supposed to be screaming or not. Alex. They guy I had known all my life. The one who I never thought had the guts to ever really _flirt_ with a girl. In a hot and heavy make-out session with Tara. Not just some Dauntless girl. _Tara_.

"What the _fuck_..." was all Gabe could stammer out, unable to take his eyes away from the scene.

"Darcy fucking called it. Remember at dinner that day?"

"Yeah, yeah, I remember. How the fuck did she know?"

I made a face that said 'go figure' and poured myself a shot. "Erudite, Gabe. She was Erudite. She fucking _studied_ them. We didn't pay enough attention apparently."

"You _think_?" His comment was sarcastic, but he didn't mean anything by it. I poured him a shot and slid the glass in his direction. He finally turned away, shaking his head, and knocked back the waiting booze. He didn't say anything for a minute, just glancing back at our friends locked in their heated moment in front of everyone.

"I'm not making out with you."

I blinked. It surprised me. "Huh?"

"I like you, Ronnie, but not like that. Just so we're clear."

I looked at him for a second before bursting into giggles. I slapped my hand down on his forearm, just trying to stay on the marble block we were sitting on. "Gabe... Oh, fuck..."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, but I don't even think of you like that." I kept laughing. It was just too funny to me at the moment. "You're like... Like a brother to me almost. You're my best friend. I just can't ever see us hooking up."

He started laughing, too, and wrapped his arm around me. "Good. Because you're like a sister to me. I love you and all, but I'm not making out with my sister."

I laughed harder, nearly falling into his lap. I could barely breathe. I awkwardly hugged him back while I was still sort of slung across his body in a fit of giggles. I finally got myself mostly under control and gave up on the shot glasses to drink straight from our bottle. The two couples then became our entertainment until we decided to head back to the dormitory to crash for the night. 

* * *

Alex had avoided the three of us for the most part the next morning. Of course, that was only after Gabe and I had told Darcy what we'd seen and she'd joined us on ripping into him about it. He swore up and down he hated us, but the blushing and grinning said otherwise. So while they were still teasing in hushed tones every time they passed each other, I tried my hardest not to melt into a puddle of giggles while I did my physical therapy exercises.

"Something funny, Initiate?"

I straightened up and the smirk fell from my face. I seriously needed to learn how Eric snuck up on me like that. I shook my head and slowly brought my arm back up in front of me like I'd been shown before bringing it out to my side. "Not at all."

"Then why are you smiling like that?" He came around to stand in front of me, scrutiny in his eyes.

"Just thinking about something."

His eyebrows twitched upward a fraction of an inch, but quickly settled back into place. "Mind telling me what?"

"It's, uh... Kind of personal."

I continued my stretches, trying to ignore the slight shift in his stance. He crossed his arms in front of his chest but didn't say anything. I brought my arm down for a rest and took a step back, flipping my ponytail over my shoulder as I went for my water bottle.

"Changing your hair, I see."

I nodded, but didn't look up at him until I'd gotten a drink. "Mhmm."

"Why red?"

"Because it looks good with brown. Don't you think?"

He didn't answer, so I shrugged.

"Other people think it looks good."

Again, I was met with silence.

"Did you want something specific, Eric? I'm sure checking on me isn't exactly the highest priority on your list of things to do today."

His chin tilted up slightly. An authoritative gesture. "I want you to get ready for your run. Four has the Dauntless-born in sim today, so I'm taking the transfers out to run the city. You think you can handle that?"

I straightened again, feeling the effect of his challenge. Hell, yes, I could handle him and his little run. And I would finish this one just like I finished Four's. He wasn't about to intimidate me. Not anymore. I was going to show Eric I was done being toyed with. 

* * *

"Keep it up! No slacking!"

Eric barked the order for about the eight time in the last six miles. It was actually getting annoying by now. The only thing that kept my from grumbling was his choice of route. Flat ground with minimal obstacles to go over. That made it easier to keep up without my shoulder starting to hurt. Helped me keep my place at the front of the group for a good portion of the trip.

But I couldn't keep it up forever, unfortunately. I started lagging behind after a while. I was getting a little winded, and my shoulder started to ache a little. I stepped out of formation, let the others pass, and took up a spot in the back. Gabe frowned slightly as he jogged ahead, but I shook my head and gave him a little smile of reassurance.

"Not quitting on me, are you, Ronnie?"

Eric had slowed down just enough to keep pace with me. I lifted my chin stubbornly and kept my eyes forward.

"Nope."

"But you're slowing down."

"I'm fine."

"Doesn't look like it."

I cut him a hard look. "I'm _fine_."

He glared right back. He was going to play hard-ass today. Well, I'd been watching him and I was going to give it right back to him. I darted in front of him and slipped back in the group next to Darcy. Screw the light throbbing in my shoulder. I wasn't going to let Eric call me out in front of everyone and not show him up. He wanted to play macho tough guy? Fine. Let him. But he wasn't going to see me hurt. No way.

"_LOOK OUT!_"

One of our assistant trainers screeched the warning just seconds before something exploded off to our left and flames spread out across the ground. Curse words mingled with the crackle of glass and fire. We stumbled to a halt and dodged right. Eric was up at the front in a flash, barking orders. About half a dozen Factionless were up ahead, a couple armed with wooden posts shaped into crude bats.

"Stay back!" Eric growled at us, and all nine of us formed a tight cluster, scared out of our wits at the sudden attack but ready to defend ourselves. The three soldiers we had with us quickly stepped between us and Eric.

"Sir," one said, glancing nervously over his shoulder at our unsure faces. "We need to get the Initiates out of here. They're not ready for this."

"Gonna have to learn some time," Eric replied. He didn't sound like he really wanted to do this with us there. "We don't have much choice."

"They're unarmed, Eric," the only female soldier added.

"We can take care of ourselves," I heard from behind me. Jake, from Erudite. He usually sparred with Gabe lately. They were almost an even match in terms of strength and speed. "We've learned from the best."

"They don't scare us." Darcy, right beside me. That gave me a little boost in confidence.

"We're right here with you, Eric," I added.

He jerked his head back for a second, cold eyes flashing with a mix of feelings I couldn't grasp fast enough. But his sinister smirk was enough to show that he was proud of us for showing bravery in the face of danger. That we'd learned well in the last six and a half weeks. Then he turned back to the little band of rebels who'd decided standing up to a group of Initiates would be a good idea.

"Back down now and no one gets hurt," he warned. Once again the danger that dripped from his lips sent a shiver up my spine. I couldn't help it. "But keep coming if you feel like dying today."

One of the men sneered. He looked like he was about to order a charge when a shot rang out from the rooftop nearby. The ground in front of him popped and gray dust poofed up into the air. I looked up and saw two Dauntless soldiers aiming rifles directly at the Factionless.

"STAND DOWN!" One of them yelled. He shot the ground again, this time closer to the guy's foot. "_NOW!_"

Two of the men immediately took off running in the other direction. The ringleader yelled at them to come back and fight, but they quickly disappeared around a corner. One of the others looked like he was about to collapse and said something I couldn't quite make out but I knew was a request to stop whatever he'd been planning on doing. Another one ran off. He was losing his support quickly. They guy was angry, but after a few tense moments finally gave up with a frustrated growl. He apparently realized that fourteen Dauntless was too many to take on with just three people. Hell, even though twelve of us were unarmed, and nine of those were still in training, we still had the upper hand against all six.

The shooters watched them take off, rifles tracing their path down the street, before the one who'd gotten two shots off turned back to us. "You guys okay?"

"Fine," Eric called back. "Keep track of them. They were from yesterday's fight. They'll be back."

The guy on the roof nodded and they took off in pursuit. I watched them both jump onto the rooftop of the building before disappearing from view. I glanced around at the other initiates. A couple looked a little shook up over the encounter, but for the most part we were all fine if not a little confused.

"And that there is life in Dauntless," Eric announced, coming back over to us. "Factionless think they've grown some balls and rebel every now and then. And you always have to be ready to face them. Lucky for some, they back down a lot more than they fight."

I was hoping he'd continue. Maybe say he was proud of us for standing our ground and being ready to fight for real. But no. That wasn't Eric's style. He simply rolled his shoulders and told us to get moving. But I didn't miss the light touch of his hand on my back when I passed him and my shoulder brushed against his chest.


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N:** Thanks for a ll the reviews and follows and favorites, guys! It's so awesome to see them!  
_

_As always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

"Well, that was intense," Alex commented as we sat down at lunch.

"What happened?" Tara brushed by me and sat down across from Alex. I shared a look with Gabe, but we managed to hold our laughter back in light of recent events.

"Factionless attacked us on the run today," Darcy answered, passing me a plate of food. Tara's jaw dropped. "Six of them. Almost got into a fight but a couple guards showed up and scared them off."

"Holy shit! They actually had the balls to try to take on Initiates?"

"I don't think they cared who they came across, really," Gabe commented. "I think they were just still pissed off about yesterday and wanted to try to stand up to someone."

"At least no one got hurt," I replied. "That's what matters."

Darcy nodded and started fixing her own plate. We didn't say anything for a few minutes, which wasn't like us at all. But this morning had been unnerving and put us into a weird mood. I was so happy that Darcy was the first one to return to her normal self and put things back on a lighter track.

"So did I call it or did I call it?"

I snorted. Gabe slammed his elbow down on the table, trying not to choke on his food and hold back his giggles. Alex covered his face with his hand. Tara looked confused.

"Did I miss something?"

"They know," Alex moaned through his palm.

I laughed. "More like me and Gabe caught you red-handed."

Tara blushed. "Hush."

"I told you," Darcy chirped. She was pretty satisfied with herself, a smug grin plastered on her face.

"Yeah, well, how about we talk about you and Riz, huh?"

I sputtered and clamped my hand over my mouth at Gabe's little retort. Darcy's head popped up, her face as red as Tara's.

"We didn't do anything."

"You didn't exactly have to," Gabe replied. "But I think the entire faction were thinking you were going to."

I slammed my cast on the table, my left hand still over my mouth.

"What is all that for?!"

"Nothing," I giggled breathlessly. "Nothing. But really. I'm proud of you. You're a cute match."

She blushed again. "It's your fault, you know."

"Still proud. Our little Darcy is growing up."

"Shut up!" She flung a piece of lettuce at me. I laughed again. 

* * *

_I turned away from my father's study and suddenly lost my footing on the tiled floor, falling back and hitting the inky darkness with a hard thud, slamming the back of my head and blurring my vision. I tried to lift my hand to rub at the soreness, but felt myself pinned down by an invisible force. Panic immediately began to rise up in my throat and prickle across my skin. I struggled. But every movement pushed me further into the sticky ooze that started to creep over me._

_Stop, Ronnie! Stop fighting!_

_Something inside my head suddenly screamed at me, far more urgent than the fear coursing through my veins. My body obeyed and immediately stilled. Then I heard Eric's voice, sounding far away and lost in the dark._

_"Separate yourself from your emotions. Panicking will do nothing but get you killed."_

_I tried to picture the blackness as water. Pushing me up instead of pulling me down. I was floating. Not sinking. Floating. I closed my eyes, focusing on trying to breathe. The darkness was cold and heavy, but I fought the fear creeping up in my throat. I might be trapped, but this was not going to break me. I could get through this. Ride it out._

_I heard the crackle of glass shattering. My eyes flew open. Flames licked across my vision, reaching for the sky. Another crash of breaking. More flames danced around me. I shielded my face with my arms and rolled onto my side. The fire surrounded me in a circle, rapidly growing in height and closing in. I coughed, covering my mouth with my sleeve to try to filter the air. But it was too hot. My eyes felt too dry, and I couldn't keep them open to see a way out. There was no way out. I tried to call out for help, but my own throat swallowed my screams._

_My jacket. I needed to get my jacket off. I needed to break the wall of flames. I needed to make my own way out. Yanking at the fabric, I ripped the quickly-heating clothing off my shoulders and down my arms and held it in front of my face like a shield. I couldn't see anything anyway, and I didn't even care what would be waiting for me on the other side of the flames at this point. I needed out of this ring of death. I ran forward and jumped, right through the flames._

* * *

I could still feel the heat on my skin as I walked down the hallway after my fear sim. I rubbed at my arm above my cast, trying to wipe the feeling away. I've never been a big fan of fire, even before this morning, so it didn't completely catch me off-guard to see it in my fear landscape. Burning alive was a terrible way to go. I'd read about the process before when I was ten and never really got over the images it brought to my young mind. To have the very air in your lungs catch fire and burn you from the inside out, to become your own blazing furnace... It was terrifying.

I was certain the only thing that had kept me from dying today was Eric's words. As cold and distant as the guy could be, he was smart. He knew how to keep his head when others, including me, would panic and lose control. It was almost bizarre how he could be teaching us without us fully catching on to the lesson. I supposed it was because his approach was so different than Four's.

I sighed, wiping a stray curl that had broken free of my loosened ponytail away from my face before pushing open the door that led me back into the hallways of the Dauntless compound. I needed to distract myself. Needed to stop thinking about the fire that had gotten too close to consuming me alive. So I went down to the training area for a little time on the floor while the Dauntless-born were working out.

Eric flicked me a curious glance as I crossed the massive area to a vacant brick half wall. I ignored it for the most part, propping my foot up and leaning into a long stretch. It felt good to feel the pull on my muscles. I felt like I was wound too tight after my sim, packed into a tiny box far too small for my body. I glanced over at the orange training dummies, wishing I had my cast off so I could punch away with both hands until my fingers were numb and my knuckles were too swollen to even make a fist anymore.

Several minutes passed by as I stretched everything I possibly could, losing myself in my own little quiet place to block out the residual jitters from my fear landscape. And then the need to run kicked in. I liked running on my own. It was quiet. Peaceful. I was certain that after I was a full Dauntless member, I'd be going on lots of runs through the city when I wasn't busy with my duties. I'd always be armed with my knives so there wouldn't be anything to worry about should I come across any trouble along the way. I could just step outside and follow my feat all over the place.

I don't know how long I'd been going or how many laps I'd taken. I didn't care. My shoulder was okay, so I'd just kept going. I was only slightly aware that someone was watching, and I had a good feeling as to who it was, but I wasn't stopping. I needed to move. I needed to do something that stopped the nagging feeling that I was dragging people down by being hurt. Sure, making laps around the massive room helped a bit, but what I really wanted was to be outside.

I slowed to a stop, panting and sweating and muscles burning from exertion. I draped my arms over the top of my own head and shifted my weight from one leg to another, my eyes repeatedly going to the doors that led outside. I felt crowded in here. There weren't many people around but I still felt like that handful was far too many. I needed out of this cage I felt trapped in. So I marched right over to the doors and pushed them open, making my escape into the evening air.

I heard the doors slam shut behind me with a loud clang of metal. Moments later I heard them open and slam shut again. The crunch of boots on the ground behind me. I didn't turn around to see who it was. I didn't care. I was out where I wanted to be, in the fresh air with a slight breeze cooling she sweat on my skin.

"You're not supposed to be out here alone." Eric. Of course. Who else?

"I had to get out of there. I couldn't breathe."

"With all the laps you were doing, I'm not surprised."

I wasn't sure if that was meant to be humor or not, but I wasn't laughing. I sighed, feeling my heart rate start to slow. I shifted my weight onto one leg and watched the clouds float by.

"I feel like a caged animal in there. I need to run."

"Not out on your own, you're not."

Another sigh. This time I turned my head to look at him. "Eric, you don't understand. I'm going crazy in there not being able to train like everyone else. I can't fight. I can't do push-ups. I can't throw my knives like I want to. I can't even use the practice dummies. I'm... I'm useless."

"You're injured," he countered. "And damn lucky you could even stay in the program, honestly. The only thing that saved your ass was your progress."

"And nothing to do with you, right?"

He shifted, the muscles in his arms twitching as his back straightened. "I don't _need_ you here. I could have voted against keeping you. But I didn't because you have potential. You're fast. You're flexible. And you surprise your opponents with the strength you hold back until the right moment."

Okay, that actually hurt. And it pissed me off. He didn't need me? When he was the one pulling me into dark corners. He was the one who started everything. I could've fought down my desire for his stupid ass and found someone else had he not pulled his stunt on the mats. This was his fault. And he didn't need me? Fine.

"I gotta get back before my friends start looking for me."

I made it a point to bump roughly into his chest as I stormed passed.


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N:** So how is Ronnie going to behave in response to Eric's little burn? Let's find out!  
_

_As always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

I checked my reflection in the mirror in the bathroom of our dorm, toussling my curls a little bit. The red pieces stood out from the brown perfectly, and I loved how they made me feel fun and wild and rebellious. It was the little confidence boost I needed as I took in my current outfit. A thin little tank top under a sheer and slightly shimmery shirt that clung to my body and showed off just how much I'd been changing since I got here, and skin-tight pants made of a material similar to our exercise clothes. Something that would easily grab the male gaze.

"Damn, girl," Darcy murmured, leaning against the frame of the huge open doorway. "You're gonna do some damage tonight."

"That's the plan." I smirked into the mirror at her.

Damage. Yeah, that was a good word for it. I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do tonight, but it involved alcohol and the Pit. His words had wounded me pretty deeply and they continued to sting throughout the entire next day. I'd worked myself into a frenzy, running endless laps around the training floor and kicking the stuffing out of the training dummy. But nothing seemed to help. It just added to the frustrations I already had piling up and made me feel even more on edge.

So I'd decided to let loose in the Pit and see where that took me for the night. Darcy was meeting up with Riz, and we hadn't seen Alex and Tara since dinner so we assumed they were together. As for Gabe... I wasn't sure where he'd gone when Darcy and I started getting ready. He'd picked up on my mood and his pacifist upbringing had kicked in so he'd kind of left me alone for the most part. Or maybe someone told him to. I didn't know for sure.

I exhaled slowly, giving my hair a final flip. "Ready?"

Darcy nodded. "Let's go party." 

* * *

A couple hours later had found me in the middle of the mob again. Someone was passing around bottles of booze and we were all taking drinks and keeping them going. They didn't seem to ever stop, but it was great. It meant I didn't have to leave in order to get something and I could keep dancing to my little heart's content.

One of the infamous bottles appeared in front of my face at the same moment a hand slid over my hip. I didn't have to look to see who it was, but the voice purring deeply in my ear had my head turning anyway. Stormy grey eyes gazed down at me with a mischievous glimmer.

"Here ya go, Ronnie."

I grinned and tugged the bottle out of Dalton's hand. He smirked as he watched me chug down a couple good gulps before passing it to a girl next to me. Maybe it was the alcohol's fault, but holy hell, was he good-looking in the glow from the lights around us. And I did like the way his hands slid around my waist, easing my body up against his. He was firm and gentle at the same time, giving me every chance to pull away if I wanted to.

But I didn't. I nestled myself up against Dalton's form, enjoying how it felt as we moved together. I didn't think about Eric or his harsh words. I didn't care at the moment. The pressure of Dalton's fingers sliding up from my hips to my ribcage and then back down to my thighs kept my thoughts on him. The way he held me close, pressing his body against mine, dipping his head so his breath flickered across my skin, his lips brushing against my neck. He was a perfect distraction.

The songs blended together so seamlessly I didn't even keep track of how long we danced together for. Not that I even cared. The bottles kept coming around and I kept drinking from them, sharing with Dalton, and passing them along. His hands smoldered against my skin wherever they roamed. And I liked it.

When the pressure from his palms changed, I willingly let him turn me around to face him. I let him draw me firmly up against him, our hips melding together. I let him slip my arms up around his neck. Let him lean in and kiss me. I lost myself in his alcohol-wrapped kiss. Felt the change in his body as mine responded to him. I was pretty sure that if we hadn't been surrounded by people, I was mere seconds away from being shoved back up against something solid.

But we were surrounded by people. So we stayed as we were, our foreheads touching between sultry kisses the left both of us breathless. I felt that Dalton was waiting for me to give him the okay to take things elsewhere. Unfortunately for him, I liked it right here. Not that he wasn't tempting. He certainly was. And I was seriously considering going down that road with Dalton. Especially if Eric was going to cast me off as nothing more than someone he could play games with.

Eric.

It was the first time in hours he'd crossed my mind. I wondered if he was hidden away in the shadows again, watching us with that murderous glare in his eyes. Waiting for me to leave so he could corner me and try to burn away Dalton's kisses with his own. As if what he'd said didn't matter and he could get away with it because he was Eric. Like that just excused him from everything and left him completely blameless for his own actions.

And just like that, the spell Dalton and his kisses had weaved over me was broken. I sighed against his chest. As good as it felt to have him wrap himself around me, I knew I needed to stop it. For more than one reason. I was still an Initiate after all, and I had training in the morning. And it was highly frowned upon for full-fledged members of Dauntless to fraternize with Initiates on an intimate level. Not to mention how bad it would look for me to try to sneak out of Dalton's place in the morning.

"I need to go," I murmured into his ear. His arms tightened around me immediately.

"No, don't go. Stay."

"I have training in the morning, Dalton. And a fear landscape sim. I need to get some sleep before all that."

Slowly, he nodded and loosened his grip. "Let me walk you to your dorm?"

Wow, he was smooth. It was adorable in a sense, him wanting to walk me back. I nodded. He wove his fingers through mine and led me through the crowd toward the hallway that led to my dormitory. I couldn't stop the little smile on my face at his gallantry. It made me feel special to be treated with respect and a little tenderness. Yes, I was a soldier in training, but I was still a girl, for crying out loud.

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

Dalton didn't let go of my hand when we reached the doorway to my dormitory. He kept holding on to it as if I'd up and disappear or something if he let go. It just made him even more adorable in my eyes.

"Hmmm..." I mused, smirking slightly. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" He raised a blonde eyebrow, then brought up his other hand to brush my hair over and behind my ear. Classic move. "You're killing me, Ronnie. You know that?"

I huffed a small laugh and laid my cast-covered hand on his chest, stepping closer. "I'll be around."

His lips were on mine again, a finger lifting my chin just a bit. It was soft. Tentative. He was trying to keep things slow. Oh, man, this guy actually really liked me. But what surprised me was the part of me that liked him, too. He was so different from Eric. He openly showed his interest, even in front of others. It was actually really nice.

"Isn't it passed your curfew, Initiate?"

Eric's deep growl came out of nowhere. Both Dalton and I jumped, and I quickly spun around to face his angry glare. Shit, did he ever looked pissed off right then. It took my breath away. Mainly because I didn't know what he would do right then. Would he take his rage out on Dalton? On me?

"Eric," Dalton breathed behind me. "I was... Just making sure Ronnie got back to her dorm safely."

"Is that right?" Eric raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, now that you've done that... Shouldn't you be leaving her so she can get to bed?"

I felt Dalton shift and heard him clear his throat before moving to step around me. He was older than Eric, and very near his size and height, but even he was wary of the cruelness of the young Dauntless leader. He murmured a soft goodnight into my ear and quickly left me alone with Eric. Not exactly something I wanted right at this moment with the way he looked. I took a step back, but he stopped me dead in my tracks before I could get any further.

"Initiates aren't supposed to be fraternizing with soldiers. You know this."

I straightened up. If I was going to take a chewing out, I wasn't going to do it cowering in a corner. "We didn't do anything. And you know that."

He closed the distance with a few swift steps. I stiffened in surprise, but didn't move from where I stood. His expression was dangerously close to the one he had that day in the stairwell. His eyes nearly glowed with fury as he hovered over me without speaking for nearly a whole minute.

"Testing my patience again, Ronnie?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I managed to keep the fear out of my voice, surprisingly. "I was only having a little fun in the Pit."

"Oh, I know _exactly_ what you were doing in the Pit. Grinding up against him like that. Like you _wanted_ him."

This time the jealousy and possessiveness in his voice only annoyed me. I glared up at him, my eyes locking with his.

"And what if I do? What's it to you, Eric? You don't need me. Remember?"

Then I quickly spun on my heel and made my retreat into my dormitory, trying to ignore the furious glare I felt on my back as I disappeared through the doorway and down the steps.


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N:** Okay, so I'm going to implement a few minor changes to the story because I've been thinking on them for a few days now. I'll put it in my new disclaimer in the first chapter for anyone new to the story, but also leave it here for everyone who's been following along already._

_First, I'm changing the ages of the main people because the ages in the books and the movies are different, so instead of having Eric and Four be 17 like they would technically be if I was following the book canon, we'll follow a little more like the movies and make them 20 instead. That would make Ronnie and the other initiates 18 like Tris was in the movie. (And really, it feels a little better to make people choose their life paths at 18 rather than at 16.) So Eric would have been in Dauntless for two years now, and a leader for the past year, which tends to make his reluctance to having a relationship sit better in my mind because it allows him to have settled into his role as a Dauntless leader and given him time to further build up his personal walls and resistance to falling in love._

_Also, I'll be going back and fixing my minor typographical errors I've made on previous chapters because I have a habit of getting too excited about updating the story to check thoroughly for little spelling mistakes and words I've accidentally left out. It shouldn't be anything major, I don't think._

_Anyway, thank you all so much for your reviews and support. I'm so thrilled you're all loving Ronnie and her adventures with Dauntless life and Eric!_

_And now, on to another encounter between Eric and Ronnie!_

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

The next day was pure hell. Eric was relentless in his criticisms and demands while he walked around the training area. Four was busy doing the fear landscapes for both groups of Initiates, so we got stuck working out with Eric while we either waited for our turn or came back from it. He was pushing us harder than usual, barking insults and orders left and right. I tried to block it out as best I could, but I had only so much patience in me to put up with his shit before he started seriously grating down on my nerves.

"You call that a knee shot?" The growl in my ear damn near earned him an elbow to the face at this point. "You have to drive it into your opponent. Take him down. Don't give him time to come back at you."

I growled in frustration and grabbed hold of the orange dummy, slamming my knee into the curve that marked its waistline. The whole thing wobbled and the ropes that anchored it to the floor and the ceiling hummed and vibrated. I shoved myself away, panting from the effort and the anger that burned through my body. Unfortunately, my step back had me colliding with Eric's chest. I felt his hands on my arms immediately.

"Fooling around with Dauntless soldiers making you lose your focus, Initiate?"

"Let go of me," I warned, keeping my voice low. "_Now_."

"Or what?" The deep rumble of his voice sent chills down my spine, but I couldn't tell if they were good or bad. I was too pissed off with his attitude at this point. "What are you going to do to me, Ronnie? Run off with Dalton again? Is that how you plan on trying to hurt me?"

"Why do you even _care_, Eric?" I turned my head, but I couldn't see much of his face from how he held me in place. "Huh? Tell me that. Because I'm really sick of your hot and cold bullshit. So until you make up your mind about what you want, you can just leave me the hell alone."

I wrenched myself free from his grip and started running. I couldn't leave the training floor without drawing attention to myself, so I settled for laps around the place. That was twice in the last twelve hours I'd metaphorically given Eric the middle finger. And even though I knew it wasn't going to help his mood at all and end up making him take his rage out on us, it felt good to finally put him in his place.

* * *

As expected, Eric's mood didn't improve after lunch. But at least we didn't have to deal with him alone for too long. Four finished up the fear landscapes and we went out for a run through the city. We had a few extra soldiers around us this time, the incident with the Factionless the other day still a bit of a concern. But since there'd been no reports of any activity or rumors they were going to try anything else, Four felt safe enough to take us out on the streets.

I was actually enjoying our route today. It was a safe one, cutting through areas with members of the other factions going about their daily business. Kids cheered and tried to run along with us as we passed by, and I couldn't help but laugh along with them and the other Initiates. It reminded me of when I was younger, loving the sight of the soldiers in their foot races and climbing stunts, displaying their wildness for all to see. It was what lit the spark inside me to become Dauntless in the first place.

As we jogged through another area filled with Candor and Erudite, I caught a glimpse of my parents sitting by a fountain. My mother grabbed my father's arm and squealed in delight. They looked so happy to see me doing so well in my new Faction, their faces overflowing with pride. I grinned and waved as I went by. Even gave them a thumbs up with my good hand. My mother put her hand over her heart, leaning against my father. I knew she was only moments away from crying. I could only hope they were happy tears. That she wasn't hurting from the loss of me no longer living with them. I made a mental note to check on them after I completed my initiation and the curfews set up to keep us safe were lifted.

"Let's go, Initiate! Pick up the pace!"

Eric's impatient command jerked my attention away from my parents. He had fallen in beside me, and was giving me one hell of an angry look. My eyes narrowed and I picked up my pace, darting around a small group of Erudite who had decided it was better to just stand still in the middle of the path than risk hurting themselves trying to get out of our way. Eric went around the other way and quickly settled back by my side.

"Faction before blood, Initiate," he growled. "That's not your family anymore."

"They'll always be my family," I huffed back. "No matter my Faction."

"Than maybe you should go back to them."

I glared at him, furious at his pissy attitude. He knew damn good and well that I was Dauntless now. Yes, I loved my parents. And yes, I always would. But I was Dauntless, not Candor. There was no going back. Not only was it against the rules of the Faction System, but I didn't belong in Candor anymore. I hadn't belonged there in a long time.

I grunted and pulled away from the group, taking a sharp left down a route we'd run before. I ignored Eric's yelling at me to come back and increased my speed. I heard his footsteps pounding behind me, closing the distance quickly. But I still didn't stop. I turned down another street. The only people on this one were a few Abnegation carrying some things they would be giving to the Factionless a few blocks over. Another turn. At this rate I'd be meeting back up with the front of my group in just a couple blocks. And Eric could just be pissy.

But I didn't count on being yanked off my feet after turning down an empty alleyway to cut back over to everyone else. And I didn't expect the look of fear swirling in Eric's angry eyes as he pinned me to the brick wall by my shoulders. He panted in my face for a few moments before he said anything, making me go through several scenarios in my head of his next actions. None of them good, of course.

"Don't you _ever_ do that to me again," he suddenly growled. He released my right shoulder and put his palm against my face. My flinch at his sudden touch was purely involuntary, as was the gasp when he yanked me up against his chest and wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace. "You scared the shit out of me, Ronnie."

His unexpected admission of that kind of emotion startled me. I held my face against his neck, inhaling his scent as I tried to slow my breathing. Shit, he smelled good. Soap and sweat and masculine musk all mixing together and heating my blood as it pulsed harder through my veins. My good hand clutched at his vest. I didn't understand how this man could have so much power over me, flipping my emotions from one end of the spectrum to the other without a moment's notice in between.

"Eric..."

My breathless whisper of his name grazed across his skin, and I felt him shiver and harden around me. Suddenly, he was pulling back, his hands on either side of my face. His lips came crashing down on mine and my eyes closed in response. I melted into his kiss, the strength of his body the only thing keeping me on my feet. I forgot about how he'd been acting all day. The tenderness and passion he poured into me drowned out all the anger and hurt feelings, sweeping me away in a tidal wave that was all Eric.

"Ronnie..." His soft murmur against my lips as he pressed his forehead against mine was filled with both pain and longing. I could almost see those beautifully cold eyes brimming with tears in my mind, but I didn't dare look and see if it was actually happening. "Don't give up on me. I'm not used to this. Any of it. You've turned my entire world upside down. I don't know how to handle it."

I felt a lump forming in my throat. I was about to cry. Maybe I was wrong about Eric. Maybe he really did care. He just didn't know what to do with it all. But his words from the other evening still bothered me. I heard them once again in the back of my mind. He'd been so mean. And it had hurt me so badly.

"Then why did you say you didn't need me?"

"I..." He sighed. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. I told you. All this is new to me. I look at you in two ways, and sometimes it gets confusing. You're an Initiate, and I have to train you like one. But you're also more. And I don't always choose the best way to handle that."

I pulled my face away from his to look at him. He looked so torn. It hurt to see him like that. This wasn't the Eric I knew. This wasn't the Eric that I had found myself falling for. I bit my lip and reached up to touch his cheek. The indecisiveness of what to do flickered across his face.

"Stop." My simple response seemed to throw him off. He blinked, eyebrows coming together in confusion. "Do what you teach us. Separate yourself from your emotions, Eric. Be my instructor for now. Teach me to be the best soldier I can be. Everything else outside of training, we can deal with as it comes. Okay?"

Where I had found my sensible words, not even I knew. But it was a logical solution to this mess we'd found ourselves in. As much as it all tormented me, it was just as bad for Eric. I knew this now. And if we continued the way we were going, something really bad was going to happen. People could get hurt. Someone could even end up getting killed.

He nodded firmly. He was smart. He knew this was the best way. His hands covered mine for a moment before he removed them from his face and straightened up, settling back into his role as my trainer and leader. There was only a hint of warmth in his eyes now. Just enough to show that he wasn't going to keep trying to work me or the other Initiates to death today. There was even a small hint of humor in his voice when he spoke again.

"Get your ass moving, Initiate. You gotta catch up to the rest of your class."

I smirked as I turned to continue down the alleyway. "Try not to stare at it too much... Sir."

* * *

No one said anything about my disappearance or reappearance during the run. Or how Eric had suddenly eased up on everyone after we'd rejoined the group. I think they were just too glad it had happened in the first place to even care why. Or maybe they thought he'd chewed me out so much for taking off that he finally got it out of his system because I had made certain that I was scowling when we caught back up to everyone to hide what had really transpired between us.

"I..." Alex started before flopping down on his bunk and letting his towel fall to the floor. "Am so tired."

"Me, too," Darcy added, already laying on her own bed. "You'd think we wouldn't be after almost seven weeks of this, but today was brutal."

"Yeah," Gabe agreed as he walked up wearing only a pair of tight black pants and rubbing his hair with a towel. He'd joined Alex and the other guys in taking advantage of Jake's call of dibs for first shower as we were released for the rest of the day from training, and was the last one to come out. "But at least we have a couple hours before dinner to relax."

He dropped his towel down on his bed and reached for his sleeveless black shirt. He paused before tugging it over his head and looked around the room. "Oh. Sorry. Showers are free, girls. Enjoy."

The only other two girls in our group- Erudite transfers Gina and Alice- groaned in relief from the other side of the room and pushed themselves up from their bunks to stagger in the direction of the bathroom. I slowly rose to my own feet, my poor thighs and calves begging me to stop. I'd pushed a little hard today, and now I was starting to pay for it. But a hot shower would help ease out the soreness.

I stood under the hot water while Darcy washed herself, just happy to have it pouring over my aching body. It was so nice, I didn't open my eyes even when I felt Darcy's little hands tugging at my shoulders so she could wash my hair for me. She'd been such a big help with my showers since I couldn't get my cast wet, washing my hair and my back and even my legs for me. Hell, she even helped me get dressed and pulled my hair back into a ponytail for training. And she never complained once about any of it.

"Rinse!"

Her cheerful chirp made me smile, and I leaned my head back into the stream of water. "Thanks, Darce."

"For what?"

"All your help."

"Oh, please. It's nothing. You're like my sister, you know. It's only right to help you out until you get that thing off your arm. By the way, when's your checkup?"

I furrowed my brow in thought. "Couple days or so. Doc thinks I'll finally get the fucking thing off."

"I hope so. War Games is scheduled for next week. And that would really suck if you couldn't play with us."

"Tell me about it."

Darcy finished rinsing my hair out and grabbed our towels while I turned off the water. Gina and Alice stayed where they were under their own shower heads. They waved at us as we walked by and went back to talking about how much they were hating their fear landscape sims but glad they were making some headway in them.

"Girls in the room!" Darcy announced our departure from the bathroom and we head grunting and footsteps retreating up to the stairs.

"All clear!" Gabe called back after a couple seconds.

"You know," I said as we walked over to our bunks. "What are we going to do when we get stuck on other dorms with people who don't do what we do? I mean, it's not supposed to bother us to see each other naked, being soldiers and all."

"Hmm. I dunno. Guess we'll just have to deal with that later, huh?"

I shrugged, smiling and rubbing my hair with my towel. "I guess so. Let's hurry up and get dressed so we can go down to the Pit and catch a sparring match before dinner."

"Hell, yeah!"


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N:** Thank you so much for your continued love and reviews, guys. And for making me tear up with your love of my writing. Seriously. It means the world to me. :)  
_

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

I wasn't sure if the impromptu sparring matches were really good or if I was just in a good mood after clearing the air with Eric earlier, but I certainly knew that I was having fun watching the guys get sweaty and beating each other up as Darcy and I cheered from our block of marble nearby. After about three or four rounds, someone slipped a bottle into my hand, fingers lingering on mine for a moment. I looked down then. Dalton was standing beside my dangling feet, an odd, somewhat sad, smile on his face.

"Hey, Dalton," I greeted him cheerfully.

"Hey, Ronnie." Still the same sad smile as he nodded at Darcy and looked around. "Uh... Can we talk for a minute?"

I frowned slightly, confusion pulling my eyebrows together. But I nodded and he helped me down by my hips. He led me gently by my elbow since I was still holding the bottle he'd given me. I only noticed when I looked down at his fingers that it wasn't alcohol, but water this time around.

"You okay?" I asked as we reached a quieter part of the Pit. He certainly wasn't acting like the love-struck Dalton I'd been dancing and flirting with before.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he answered. He sighed and looked around again. "Look, Ronnie, I..."

I raised my eyebrows curiously. "What's wrong?"

"Look, this is nothing against you, okay? You're a great girl. Totally hot and funny and just... Amazing. I just..."

He sighed again, his hand moving to rub the back of his neck. Somehow I just knew what he was about to say next. The way he was acting, it was kind of obvious he was trying to back out gently.

"Dalton. It's okay. Just say it."

He nodded. "I think we need to not... Do this. It's against the rules, after all. And I really don't want to be getting you into trouble with Eric anymore than I already have."

It was my turn to nod then. I freed up my good hand, holding the water against my side with my cast, and gently reached out to touch his arm. The poor guy looked like he thought he was breaking my little heart with this.

"Dalton. It's okay. I understand. Really. I'm still an Initiate, and you're a full Dauntless member. It's against the rules for us to be starting anything up. But at least you're man enough to come to me like this instead of ducking out like an asshole."

That got a little smile and a short huff of a laugh. "Thanks, Ronnie. You sure you're okay with this? I don't want any hard feelings between us. Because I really do think you're great. Really."

I smiled and nodded again. "Hey, I used to be Candor, okay? We don't lie."

"That's true. Okay, I feel better now. I just... Wanted to be straight with you about this. Because I want you to get through your initiation with us without catching too much hell from Eric. He's a good leader and a good trainer, but he can be a bit of a hard-ass when it comes to people."

"I can handle it." I straightened up out of pure reflex. "I'm going to be Dauntless. You can count on that."

His smile was more genuine now. "Good. And maybe after... You know, if you haven't suddenly found someone else and all... Maybe we could try again."

"Maybe." I threw him a little smirk like I always did when I gave him the same answer. "We'll see."

He laughed. "You kill me with that, Ronnie. Always do. Come on. I'll take you back to the match before your friend starts thinking we went off somewhere to make out or something." 

* * *

"So he dumped you," Darcy commented as she switched my empty plate out for the one she'd just filled up with bite-sized pieces of burger.

"No, no. He didn't dump me, Darce. We weren't even dating. He felt bad he got me into trouble with Eric, so he backed off. He's a good guy."

"And he actually came to you about it instead of being a dick," Gabe commented, pointing at me with a burger in his hand. "He gets bravery points from me on that."

"Me, too," Tara added. "A lot of guys wouldn't do that."

"See? Good guy. Anyway. It's done and there's no hard feelings so the rest of training should go just fine."

Alex nodded, finishing his mouthful before taking a drink and setting the cup down a little too loudly. "Okay, can I just say it? I'm fucking ready for War Games next week."

"Yes!" I chirped. I was so anxious for the event. A Dauntless Initiation tradition that everyone kept raving about. "I can't wait. I should have my cast off for it and then you guys are just so dead meat."

"You'd shoot us?" Darcy feigned hurt. "That's so awful! How could you?"

"All's fair in love and war, my little dearie," I crooned with a wicked grin. "Isn't that how the old saying goes?"

"Ronnie, I'm warning you now," Alex pointed a finger at me. "You shoot me, and you better hope you can turn invisible because I'm going to put a dart right in your ass."

I gasped. "Not my cute little ass! You monster!"

"Yes, right in your cute little ass!" I think Tara kicked him in the shin under the table because I heard a loud bang that moved our plates and cups, and he suddenly reached under and started rubbing something furiously while pain morphed his face. "Fucking... Dammit, Tara... Fuck... I mean it, Ronnie! Both cheeks!"

"Hey, if we're on opposite teams, you gotta deal with the possibility of me shooting you. I'm not gonna go down without a fight. I'm in it to win it, you know."

"She's serious," Gabe chimed in. "Candor don't lie. And besides, we all know how competitive Ronnie can get."

"Which is why I hope I'm on her team," Darcy added with a smirk. I laughed. "Hey, I don't want you to shoot me in the ass!"

"Darcy, my love, I would never shoot you in the ass."

"You fucking better not."

She snickered and tossed a little piece of burger at me. Out of pure gut reaction, I opened my mouth. The bite of burger landed perfectly inside. Darcy blinked before a huge grin spread across her face. Gabe let out a loud cheer and clapped his hands. I raised my arms and joined his cheer, high-fiving Darcy across the table. Tara and Alex just laughed.

"That will never happen again!" I declared.

"Naw, try again!" Alex tossed a piece of his burger at me, but it bounced off my shoulder and landed in my lap. I laughed harder and threw it back.

"Your aim sucks, man!"

"Lies!"

Another round of laughter and a few more pieces of food were tossed around as we continued to excitedly discuss how much we were looking forward to going out for War Games. 

* * *

A couple days later, I wiggled my feet impatiently as I sat on the bed waiting for the doc to come back into the room to check out the new scans of my hand and arm. I could hear him out in the hall talking to someone, but I didn't know who or what about. Eric glanced in the direction of the door from where he leaned up against the wall to my left and then back down at me. He hadn't said much to me lately outside of training, but I could feel a difference in his attitude toward me. Lighter. More comfortable.

"It's nothing concerning you," he said softly, shifting his weight to cross one leg over the other. "Had a guard fall off an old fire escape yesterday. Broke four ribs and his leg. Doc's just making sure we get more painkillers and med pouches in this afternoon from Erudite for him."

I frowned but nodded in response. "He'll be okay?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine. Don't worry."

"Aren't you worried about him?"

Eric shook his head with a small shrug. "Not really. He got lucky. But like I said. He'll be fine in a few weeks."

"Okay, Ronnie," the doc said with a small sigh as he entered the room and crossed over to the computer. "Let's see how you're scans came out."

He brought up several images on the screen and began to study them. Eric even went over to look as well. After a couple moments of running his finger over the glass and nodding, he smiled over at me.

"Well, from what we can see, your fractures are fully healed. And remarkably well. I can only tell they were ever there because I have your first scans right next to them."

"Everything's all good?" There was a heavy dose of hope and excitement in my voice.

"Pretty much perfect. Your wrist is as it should be, the tears in your muscles are closed, and your fingers are perfectly straight. So, now we get to take the cast off and you'll be cleared for full duty."

I beamed and lifted my cast-covered arm. "Let's get to it!"

The doc laughed and quickly took out a little saw to get to work on removing one of the worst accessories I'd ever worn in my entire life. I tried to keep still as best I could, but I was nearly vibrating with excitement. When he finished the cutting process and cracked the hardened bandages open I slipped my arm out and held it up in front of my face. It didn't smell so great, but I didn't even care. I was just so damn happy to finally be free of that cast.

"You'll want to work with it a little bit to get the stiffness out and build up your grasping strength over the next few days," the doc commented, tossing the cast into the trash behind him. "But other than that, you're good to go. Now flex a little for me so I can see you're still mobile."

"Thanks, doc." I beamed at him, flexing my fingers when he tugged my hand in front of his own face. He smiled back and nodded before releasing my arm. I hopped down off the bed, still grinning.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go check on another patient. Keep up the hard work, Ronnie."

"Will do, doc," I replied to his back as he left the room, the door closing with a soft click.

An instant later, Eric's arms were wrapping around my waist and I was being backed against the wall he'd been leaning on earlier. His lips covered mine in a passionate kiss that had me melting into him and my arms looping around his neck. He slid a hand down my side, moving to the back of my thigh and tugging my knee up to his hip. I pushed myself up the wall, wrapping my legs around his waist to keep myself planted there. It felt a little weird to have the use of my right hand back, but I was a little more concerned with other thoughts at the moment.

"I'm so glad that's over with," he murmured against my lips after pulling away. "I've never been so damn scared in my life than when I watched you fall that night."

"You saved my life," I whispered back. "I'd be dead if you hadn't followed me like you did."

He sighed, his breath hot against my face. "I know. Please don't ever scare me like that again, Ronnie."

"I'll try. Promise."

He gave me one more kiss before lowering me to the ground and stepping away. We quickly straightened out our clothes and I cleared my throat, glancing at the door.

"Well." I flipped my hair back over my shoulders. "Back to business as usual, I guess."

Eric smirked and nodded, walking to the door and opening it for me as I followed behind him.

"I don't want you on the dummies yet," he stated, already back into the role of my trainer as we passed by a couple of the medics in the hallway. "Weights and cardio only until we have determined you're fit for anything else. I want your strength back up to top form before you try to throw yourself into the ring. And I mean it, Initiate."

I nodded as I walked beside him. I made my response short and respectful. We had our parts to play, and no one could know any different. "Of course."


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N:** Ugh. You guys. Fangirling over me and my work and making me giggle and blush with joy. You're so incredible.  
_

_Now, how about the little match Ronnie had promised Darcy earlier? Hooray! It might be a little short, but I got excited to finally write it and wanted to get it out for you guys tonight instead of waiting another day.  
_

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

"_She's baaaaaaaaack!_"

I grinned and raised both my arms above my head triumphantly as Darcy squealed her announcement of my arrival to everyone the second Eric and I strolled in through the doors to the training area. Several whistles, whoops, cheers, and lots of clapping followed, meaning most of the Initiates had stopped what they were doing in order to greet me Dauntless style. Even Four stopped his stroll around a sparring mat and looked at me with approval for a moment.

"That's right, people! The bitch is back! Who's first for a beat down?!"

I got a couple more cheers out of that and a few cocky Dauntless-born guys who'd been using the free-weights puffed up their chests as if they were about to say something derogatory and most likely extremely perverted. I strolled right by them, going straight for my awaiting high-fives from my friends. Eric yelled something about getting back to work or we'd all be doing a hundred laps around the place, and people were pretty quick to stop standing around. I plopped my happy little ass down beside Darcy and joined her in her stretches.

"So you're finally in the clear to come back, huh?" Gabe sat down with us and started stretching, obviously going to use the activity to be able to still talk to me.

"Well, kinda," I answered, spreading my legs in a wide 'V' and lowering my face down to the floor. "Gotta build up my strength a little for a few days or so before Eric and Four will let me spar, but other than that, I'm good to go."

"Awesome," Darcy chirped. We all stood and started stretching our legs out, getting ready for laps. "Just let me know when you're ready to step in the ring, and we'll give them both a good show."

"Oh, you can count on that." I smirked. Yes, I still remembered my promise to her from several days back. And I was actually looking forward to it. Darcy was a good scrapper. A little dirty, but it would be a lot of fun to square off with her in the ring. "Come on. As good as I feel today, I pity anyone who thinks they can keep up with me!"

I heard Darcy laugh and Gabe shout for us to wait for him as I suddenly took off, making a beeline for the outermost route around the entire room. How I could run at nearly full speed and laugh was just a credit to my good mood. Without the annoying weight of my cast on my arm, I felt so light and free. Like shedding it had also taken off the heavy feelings of being trapped in a cage with shrinking walls. I never in my life imagined I could get so stressed out about something and just have it all disappear in the blink of an eye. I couldn't wait to get back to doing everything that I'd gotten so used to doing in those short weeks before I'd been injured.

* * *

Three days later, after proving to Eric and Four that I could handle it, they finally let me step back onto the sparring mats. And they'd even let me honor my agreement to have Darcy as my first opponent. I'd been carefully watching people over the course of the last four weeks, taking mental notes of their progress and how they'd been learning and adapting to different partners' techniques. And Darcy was one of the ones that had developed a relly good eye for being able to stick herself up under people and disrupt their stances to keep them scrambling. She was grinning from ear to ear as we stepped up on the padding, and it made me grin, too. This was certainly going to be a fun one.

"Sure you're ready for this?" She was playfully taunting me, bouncing lightly on her feet and shaking out her arms.

"Give it all you got, little sister," I teased back, rolling my shoulders.

"Since it's your first time back," Four announced to me as Eric walked up to stand beside him. The entire group of Initiates was gathered around for this one. I was more than certain that several wanted to see me go down hard. Tara had been right when she'd said that some were trying to take my rank from me while I was hurt, and nothing would please them more than to see me put out yet again with an injury. "We'll waive the 'no conceding' rule for you just this once. We don't want you back in the infirmary when you just got out."

"But that doesn't mean we'll let you get by with half-assing it," Eric added. He had his usual hard look on his face, but I just knew that deep down, he was a bit concerned for me. I'd practically begged him and Four yesterday to let me do this. Seriously. It took ten minutes for me to convince them both that I could handle it. "We just might be officially judging you on it."

I smirked and turned my attention back to Darcy, crouching slightly and raising my arms. She nodded and did the same. I watched her plant her feet a little further apart than me, one of her techniques. Start with a good base, and then charge and try to get me off my feet before I could get in a hit. Good girl.

"Go!"

The instant the word left Eric's lips, Darcy did exactly as I knew she would. She charged, going for a backhand swing at my head to try and distract me from the sweep she did with her leg. But I was ready, I spun around, moving forward, and grabbed her wrist with one hand while shoving between her shoulder blades and tripping her with my ankle. She landed on the mat with a grunt, arm behind her back and me standing over her.

"One," I quipped before letting her go, like I was taking count of how many moves of hers I'd turned against her. "Come on, Darce. I know you can do better than that."

She grunted again and shoved herself up. Then she actually surprised me with going straight for my leg, swinging her arm back and hitting me in the back of the knee. I dropped to the floor and rolled away, crouching low. She charged again, giving me little time to prepare. Very smart. I managed to block her swings until I was able to grab a wrist and knock her in the ribs.

"Two." I was a bit smug with that one. She snickered. She was definitely having fun with this. My heart warmed for my little scrapper. "You ready?"

"Bring it, baby."

This time I charged, yelling as I unleashed multiple elbow and forearm swings and she blocked as best she could while returning with her own attempts. I felt the sting of her connections on my body, and of my own on hers. I knew we were going to be covered in bruises on our ribs, backs, and even thighs. But I didn't care. It felt so good to use my muscles like this. And even though we were giving it a good go and it probably looked kind of brutal, both of us were having the time of our lives on the mat. I stopped counting any more moves, losing myself in giving her the best sparring match I could.

It seemed like we'd been trading blows for ages, and I was starting to get tired. I had to end this before she got the upper hand. Best friend or not, I really needed to win this match. Especially with everyone watching. I got the back of her fist to my cheek just as I'd went closer to get her off her feet. It stung like hell and my eyes watered, but I'd managed to get my arm behind her thigh and yank it up, throwing her off and driving her back into the mat. My arm went across her throat much like Gabe's choke hold several weeks back. But sneaky little Darcy was somehow able to rock herself back and swing her other leg up to catch me across my own neck and shove me backwards, pulling her along until she was now on top. She grinned through the sweaty copper strands clinging to her face. But she'd left her side open. I took the shot and rolled her off when she yelped.

Then I was a little mean. I scrambled up to her and caught her from behind in a sleeper hold. She tried to get up, but I sat on her calves and leaned back so she couldn't go forward to shake me off. About forty-five seconds of struggling, I felt her start to slump. She was losing consciousness. She tapped my arm and I released my hold, letting her fall onto her elbows in a heap of gasping and panting. I fell backwards myself, sweaty and breathless and tired.

Gabe, Tara, and Alex burst into a loud ruckus of clapping and cheering, prompting others to do the same. I glanced over at Eric, and through his tough look and his arms crossed over his chest, I swear I saw pride in his eyes. Even his usual snarky smirk looked a little softer. I hadn't given up even when I was getting tired. I was behind Darcy in training. Weaker in several different ways. She'd given me a good run. But I'd stuck it out. And I'd fought just dirty enough to end the match without hurting my best friend. Plus, I'd proven to the ones eying my ranking that I was not about to be tossed around easily. They'd have to fight even harder than before to knock me down from my spot on the board.

Darcy crawled her way over to me, giggling and panting at the same time. "Fucking... Sleeper... Hold... You... Bitch..."

I barked out a short laugh and then a pained grunt as she collapsed across me. My torso was on fire, like much of the rest of my body. I could almost feel the bruises forming already. "I told you... Lots of... Frustration... To get out..."

Slowly, Alex and Gabe helped us up off the floor, trying to mind the tender spots we'd knocked into each other and failing miserably. Both Darcy and I groaned and hissed every time their hands came in contact with battered flesh.

"Okay, you two," Four spoke up as soon as we were on our feet. "Go grab a shower. You've earned it."

I slung my arm around Darcy's shoulders and she wrapped hers around my waist. Slowly, we started in the direction of the door.

"Oh, and Ronnie." I heard his voice behind me after a couple of steps. We stopped and I turned my head to look back at him. He was doing that half-smile thing he did when someone impressed him. "Good fight. Glad to see you bouncing back so quickly."

I smiled back. "Thanks, Four."

* * *

"Holy _shit_, you can pack a punch."

Darcy hissed as she stripped out of her workout clothes. I smirked and went to turn on the hot water in the showers. I had to admit I was a little proud of myself for causing that. It helped me to feel that I could still compete after being held back for a whole month.

"Sorry. But you did say you wanted all I had."

"True. And I don't regret it, either. Really gave me a run for my money out there."

I laughed and tossed my sweaty clothes out of the bathroom onto the dorm floor before dipping under the shower head. "You almost had me a few times. If I wasn't so rusty I wouldn't have had to end it like that. We could have beaten each other senseless."

She scoffed and drug herself under the water, sighing heavily as the heat poured over her body. "Though it sucks that I lost, I'm glad you did end it. I don't know how much I had left. How long were we even fighting for?"

"No freaking idea. Felt like forever to me."

"Well, you certainly impressed Eric."

I blinked. "Huh?"

"Didn't you see his face? He was definitely impressed by how good you were, missing training and all. Him and Four are pretty damn pleased with you right now, Little Miss Dauntless."

I shrugged. I really needed to try to be nonchalant about Eric around my friends still, even though I was dying inside to tell Darcy about it. But even though it seemed like we'd reached an agreement on how we were supposed to behave around each other in public, I still hadn't given in to him completely. Yes, he was trying to show that he was worthy, but it was still a secret we had to keep.

"I just watched you guys. Kind of learned along with you from the sidelines."

She snickered. "Are you sure you don't have a little Erudite hiding around in there?"

I laughed. "I learned from the best."

We stayed in the steamy warmth for a little while longer, enjoying how it eased the tension and soreness that was setting in. There were already several places with bruises starting to show up, and even though they would look absolutely awful later, I felt a little proud to have them. Proof of a good fight hard-won.

A clanging from the doorway outside drew our attention away from our battered bodies, and Gabe's voice flowed into the room. "Lunch time, ladies!"

"Shit," Darcy mused. "Already?"

"Wow," I agreed. "We must have been in here longer than we thought."

We both shrugged and turned off our showers at the same time. I wrapped a towel around my body and popped my head out of the bathroom, spotting Gabe up on the stairs. "We'll meet you there!"

"Okay," he called back. "We'll save you seats!"


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N:** And now for the chapter I've been super excited to write... WAR GAMES! It's nearly double a normal chapter, so I'll save the aftermath and such for the next one. I hope you guys love it as much as I do!  
_

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

Catching up to everyone else was proving to be harder than I had originally been thinking. I knew it would be tough, but it was only three days after my match with Darcy, and I was suddenly being shown all over again what it was really like to get bruised up. It was almost like the universe was playing a massively unfair game of catch-up on me. At the end of each day, I was aching in places I wasn't even aware could ache. But no way in hell was I about to play the 'I'm Still Recovering' card and take the easy way out. Not if I wanted to prove I was Dauntless to the core. So I stuck it out and took every blow that came to me, physically and mentally, and just kept going like it didn't even hurt.

And besides, tonight was the night we'd been waiting weeks for. War Games. The most anticipated night in the entire ten weeks of training. Word around the compound was that they changed it every year to keep people on their toes about what night it would take place. And that it was always purposely leaked down the chain to build up even more hype about it. So by the time it finally came, people were nearly out of their minds with excitement.

Judging by the way all nine of us were bouncing around the dormitory while we got ready, Dauntless had yet another group of Initiates ready for a rowdy time down at the old fair grounds. I had planned my outfit carefully. Skin-tight pants just thick enough to ward off the damp air but still thin so I could move super easily, tank top under a ribbed long sleeve shirt, my form-fitting vest to help add a little thickness around my body so I could at least attempt to try to ease the pain of any darts I got hit with, fingerless leather gloves, and my sturdy combat-style boots. All in black, of course. I braided and pinned up my hair to keep it away from my face and prevent anyone from being able to grab it while Darcy did the same beside me at the mirrors.

"I'm so freaking excited I might pee myself," she told me with a little giggle. I cracked up laughing, dropping a bobby pin I had been holding in my teeth on the floor.

"I'm pretty sure we all are, Darce," I replied, swooping down to retrieve it and slide it into my hair to hold down a curl that was bound and determined to try to stick out. "Just try to remember that this is a test, too."

"Yeah, yeah. Still. This is going to be so much fun!"

I grinned at her before turning away from the mirror, satisfied with my preparation. We'd all pretty much chosen nearly identical outfits for tonight, I noticed as I looked around the room after leaving the bathroom. Long sleeves, vests, and boots were the most predominant similarities. A few had gone with pants that were a little more roomy than mine, probably hoping they would help in keeping the prongs on the darts from digging too deep into their skin. But my plan was more focused on being able to get around faster to straight up dodge as many darts as I could rather than deal with what happened if I got hit. Plus, I was really hoping I'd get shot in my vest instead of anywhere else.

"Ready, guys?"

Jake's voice reached all the way from the stairs back to the bathroom. Darcy hurried out and skittered over to her bunk to grab her jacket and slip it on. Gina and Alice high-fived and joined Jake up on the steps, following him out. Our other two male Initiates, Trevor from Erudite and Cameron from Candor like me and Alex, fell in right behind them, and Darcy and I followed suit with Gabe and Alex bringing up the rear.

"Let's go, Initiates! Hustle up! The train will _not_ wait for you, and you _will_ get left behind if you don't make it!"

Eric's voiced boomed over the excited chatter, as we hustled down the hallway that lead out of the compound. There was a set of tracks conveniently located nearby so we wouldn't have to go far to grab our train. I pushed through the throng of people, eager to get closer to the front. I lost track of my friends, but I knew we'd meet up again in just a couple of minutes so I wasn't too concerned with it. I just headed down to the tracks along with everyone else, shaking slightly from all the excitement.

"Here it comes!"

I, like pretty much everyone around me, turned to watch the train approach after someone called it out. It was slowing down only a little as it chugged along the track. Just enough to let such a large group have a chance at jumping on. Still, we started running once it got closer, those on the furthest right end of the line picking up responsibility of opening the doors for the rest of us. I fell in step right behind Eric, and hopped onto the little step directly after he climbed on. Then I swung myself inside. Right into Eric's waiting arms. He smirked down at me for a second before pulling me over to the opposite side of the car, away from the others who were quickly piling in.

"Alright, listen up!"

He called everyone to attention just as the last Inititate boarded the train. He slipped a large bag off his shoulder and dropped it onto the floor of the car. Kneeling for a moment, he unzipped the bag and pulled out a very simply-constructed gun vaguely resembling a rifle. It wasn't much more than a long metal barrel with a trigger and an ammo clip. When he stood, he held it up in the air for everyone to see. His voice now carried easily over the group, but it still boomed inside the metal train car.

"These are your weapons. They are loaded with neuro-stim darts to simulate the feel of a real bullet. You only have so many in your cartridge, so if you use all your ammo... Well. I don't think I need to tell you what to do."

I smirked along with several others around me. Some exchanged slightly worried glances. But of course we all knew what we'd have to be doing if we ran into that situation. Hand-to-hand combat to take someone else's gun, or run like hell. And running wasn't exactly a good idea. Not very Dauntless.

"We'll split into two teams," he continued. "Four and I are the captains and will be choosing who is on each team. Four, you get first pick."

Four nodded and looked around for a moment. "Alex."

Eric pretended to take a look around, but I had a sneaking suspicion he'd already chosen his team in his head days ago at the very least. He looked way too smug to be picking people off the top of his head. "Jake."

"Fritz."

"Gabe."

"Joss."

"Bryce."

Four's eyes flickered from Eric over to me for a split second. I was sure he was about to say my name just to piss Eric off. My breath caught in my throat.

"Missy."

"Ronnie."

I nearly collapsed right there on the spot. As good as I could be for Four's team, I was desperate to be on Eric's instead. I didn't want to have to be taking shots at him. Especially after things had been going so well for over a week now. He hadn't made any advances or initiated anything other than the kiss in the med ward, but it hadn't felt like he'd pulled back into his cold shell again. But I wasn't ready to test it by being forced to shoot him tonight. And I really, really didn't want to find out if he'd actually shoot me.

They continued to call out names until all twenty two of us were split evenly. Darcy and Cameron had also been chosen for Eric's team, and Four had picked up Gina, Alice, and Trevor as far as the transferring Initiates went. Then those of us closest to the bags that Four and Eric had brought along started passing out the guns. Darcy suddenly popped up beside me, Gabe in tow. Both were grinning from ear to ear.

"Same team!" Darcy bounced up and down, giggling. "Pretty lucky, huh?"

I made a thoughtful face and titled my head from side to side. "I think it's more of a strategy thing. But hey, at least I don't have to shoot you now."

"Yeah, but Four took Alex," Gabe replied. "Which means if you shoot him, he's going to come looking for payback."

"Then I guess he better not get in my way, huh?" I raised my gun and grinned wickedly.

"Get ready!" Eric's voice filled the car, easily drowning out the light chatter and grabbing everyone's attention. "My team, follow me when you get off. Immediately."

I glanced out the window. The old fair grounds were just up ahead, and the train was starting to slow a little again for our group. Everyone started to gather around the doors, and before long we were all jumping off and separating into our teams. I followed Eric as he started to lead us around the back side of a couple of long buildings that once housed game stalls of all different kinds and over by some ride with giant tea cups on an elevated platform.

"Okay, Initiates," Eric started as we gathered around him, pulling out a glowing greenish-yellow flag from his vest. "Let's hear some strategy."

People started throwing out ideas, talking over each other.

"We hide the flag so they can't find it."

"Blitz them. Take them by outnumbering them."

"Then who's going to guard the flag?"

"Put it up high. Wait for them to come to us."

"Steady defense only? Are you nuts?"

"We'll run out of ammo before we take them all down."

"And then we have to get their flag. We don't win if we don't get their flag, even if we do manage to take them all down."

Eric wasn't looking pleased with the lack of communication and converging of ideas into a single plan, but he stayed quiet. He crossed his arms over his chest and just watched the argument unfold. I looked over at the glowing fabric. It was like a neon sign telling the world exactly where we were. If we stood around like this, Four's team would be on us in no time.

"Everyone, shut up!"

Surprisingly, all ten of them fell silent when I yelled over their bickering. I handed my gun to Darcy and unzipped my vest. Then I marched over to Eric and yanked the flag out of his hand. He looked a little surprised, but still said nothing. I wadded the fabric up, slipped it up under my sweater and held it against my abdomen, then folded my vest over it and zipped that back up. I ignored the curious looks as I reached for my gun.

"Now that our fucking flag isn't waving around for the other team to see and begging them to come and get it, this is how it's gonna go."

"Who the fuck made you leader?"

I shot a glare at the boy who'd popped off. Tucker. He'd had a bad attitude toward me since he discovered I was ranked over him on the board. He looked to Eric for support, but he only shrugged back at the boy.

"I just did. Because for all your bickering, you couldn't even see that we already came up with a good plan."

I looked back at Eric. Again he said nothing. He was definitely judging us on this. I could tell by the way he stood there just like he always did when he was mentally scoring us on something.

"Okay, then," another Dauntless boy, Patrick, spoke up. "So what's your plan?"

"Well, I've got the flag on me. Only way anyone will ever know is if I pull it out of my vest. Now all we have to do is get their flag. So think. Where would they have gone? Where would they hide it?"

A couple of grumbles rose up out of the group, but for the most part they actually started to work together and think of different places that would be good to put a flag where it could be guarded and still leave room for a group to branch out and look for the other team's flag. A few different places were named off. One of the game stalls, the towers, one of the rides.

"Ferris wheel," Jake said after a minute. I looked over at the structure on the other side of the grounds. "They can stick it up there, leave a few guards in places, and then send the others out to find our flag. It's what I would do."

"He's right," Darcy agreed. "It makes perfect sense. He's got _four_ former Erudites on his team, guys. They'd come up with the same idea."

Nods began to spread around the Dauntless-born of the group. They knew we were right. Darcy and Jake were former Erudites themselves. They knew how the Faction thought and behaved better than anyone here.

"Okay, so we split into two teams," I continued. "Come at them from both sides, but stick to the shadows as best we can. Stealth mode it until the last second, and then rip 'em to shreds. They shouldn't be expecting that."

"Nah," Patrick agreed. "They'll be expecting Eric to display our flag somewhere and dare them to try to blitz us instead."

Eric grunted behind me and I smirked. Everyone knew about his smug sense of pride. The cocky way he strutted around like he was king of the roost. Of course Four and his team would be expecting him to pull something like that.

"Okay. Jake, Bryce, Patrick, and Cameron, you're with me and Eric." I looked back at Eric, and he nodded. "Everyone else, go around the other way. Try to stay out of sight and only fire if they're getting too close. We'll meet back up in front of the ferris wheel and win this."

We split up then, my group cutting across the grounds to go around on the left side, and the other slipping down the right side. We stuck close to walls and other things we could hide behind, stopping a few times to watch a couple of Four's team run by as they searched for signs of us or our flag. We were able to avoid them for the most part pretty easily.

Once though, Joss rounded a corner just a little to close to us, and Eric suddenly wrapped an arm around me, yanking me back against his chest and spinning the both of us in the other direction to avoid being spotted. I ended up with my front against a wall of one of the old game stalls, him firm against my back, both of us holding our breath while Joss jogged right by, completely oblivious to our presence. Of course, Eric being Eric, he couldn't keep himself from grabbing my ass and planting a little kiss on my neck behind my ear just as we exhaled in unison. I smirked and we hurried to rejoin the boys that had gotten several steps ahead of us before the close call.

"Look," Jake whispered as soon as we'd caught up and hunkered down behind a drink stand. He pointed with his gun toward the ferris wheel. One of the metal boxes hanging maybe ten feet from the ground was glowing a soft golden yellow. "Told you that's where they'd put it."

"Good job, Jake." I patted him on the back and quickly looked around. "I see six of them around here, which means the others could be anywhere unless they've been taken out. You guys see the other half of our team yet?"

"Hot dog stand across the way," Bryce whispered. I looked over to where he indicated, and saw Gabe give us a thumbs-up. I gave him one back and grinned. Perfect. All six of them had made it.

"Good. Okay, Eric." I turned my head to look at him. He raised an eyebrow at me, as if the idea of me giving him any kind of instruction was amusing. "You've got the loudest voice, so you get to give the signal."

He grunted and smirked smugly. Then he turned his head to the right and took a good breath before letting that deep bellow of his completely shatter the quiet. "_TAKE 'EM DOWN!_"

Chaos erupted around us. Darts started flying. People yelled out in pain. Others tried to rally support to the area. I lost track of how many of our team versus Four's fell as I lead the advance toward our target. I was barely able to dodge the darts aimed at me, but Eric and I double-tapped three Initiates who tried to take us out and I got one all on my own.

"Get to the flag!" I tried to yell over the noise. I did a quick head check. Other than Eric and Jake, I could only see four of us still standing. But I didn't see Four or any more of his team. I wondered for a moment if someone had actually gotten lucky enough to shoot his crafty ass.

"Go!" Bryce urged. "We're right behind you!"

Eric stayed right on my heels as I let the way to the old ferris wheel, his gun sweeping around to check my right while Jake covered my left. Just as we reached two cars that were laying on their side, I heard the whizzing sound of a dart as it flew by my face. Jake yelped in pain and hit the ground, dart planted firmly in his thigh.

"_Sniper!_" I screeched and dove behind the car closest to me, slamming my back up against the rusty metal. Eric took cover beside me, holding his gun to his chest like I was. He peeked around the corner and nearly got a dart in his face.

"Up in the car," he growled, obviously pissed he almost got taken out by a head shot. "They have a guard on the flag."

I turned to the other four that were huddled with us. All of them looked to me for direction as if I was the captain of the team and not Eric. I felt a little flutter of pride in my chest. I mean, I had been giving orders the whole time, and it had served us well so far.

"Okay," I panted, chancing a quick peek up at the car that was glowing orange inside. I couldn't see their guard, but I knew they were watching us. "You guys distract them. Spread out. Try to get them to empty their gun chasing you. Eric and I will charge in and get the flag."

"You want us to get shot?"

I huffed and turned my eyes toward a Dauntless-born who actually looked scared out of his wits at the prospect of getting hit with the darts. Yes, he had every right by now considering how loud and pitiful people sounded when they'd gotten shot, but this wasn't the time for him to lose his balls.

"Try not to. If you get an opening on whoever it is up there, take the shot. But your main focus is took keep them off us."

I looked back over at Eric. There was definitely a touch of pride in his eyes, but those who didn't know how to look for it would never notice it behind his cool exterior. I tried to fight the smile that wanted to spread across my face. So I focused on my plan and gave him a quick nod before spinning myself to the outside of the cart and taking off running for the old ladder on one of the legs.

"_GO! GO! GO! GO!_"

Darts began flying immediately. I heard a yell behind me. One of the girls had gotten hit. One of the other boys called out, trying to grab Four's guard's attention. The screech of "_oh, shit!_" that came immediately after told me that he'd succeeded. But I didn't stop running until I made it to the ladder, sticking to the shadows as best I could. I was going to get that damned flag. I climbed quickly, losing sight of Eric in my determination to win the game for my team.

As soon as I got above the cart that held the enemy flag and its guard, I grabbed hold of a cross bar and started to make my way over to the roof by dangling from it with my hands. Then I lowered myself down as carefully and quietly as I could. I hadn't heard a yell come from inside, so I knew no one had gotten them yet. But I did hear a loud grunt of pain to my left. Eric had gotten hit in the shoulder and was fighting to stay up on the ladder and yank the offending dart out at the same time. Seeing him in pain like that actually pissed me off a little.

I growled and grabbed the little metal bar that ran around the top of the car, slinging myself inside and plowing right into the person who'd just shot my team captain. The resulting yelp of pain and surprise told me I'd landed on top of Alex before I'd even looked down at his face. He tried to raise his gun, but I had my knee on his forearm, trapping it on the floor. I pointed my gun at his chest.

"Game over, Alex." I smirked wickedly down at him, finger on the trigger. "I win."

"_NO!_"

He screeched at the same time I pulled the trigger, nailing him dead center in his chest. He yelled out in pain and I yanked the flag free from the seat before leaping out of the car. I landed hard on the one right below it and rolled off, hitting the ground with a loud "_oomph_" and losing my breath for a second.

Cheers erupted from those around me who weren't still rolling around in pain from the darts. Then more joined in as those Initiates recovered and others began to run up to us. I reached up under my vest and yanked our flag free from my clothes and waved both of them in the air, yelling as loud as everyone else with a huge grin on my face.

Suddenly, I was being lifted off my feet. Eric, now recovered from his dart to the shoulder, had come up behind me and wrapped his arms around my thighs, hoisting me into the air and bracing my ass against the shoulder he hadn't taken a hit in. We were surrounded then, and the other Initiates took over, lifting me up over their heads and carrying me several feet away before finally setting me down. So many emotions washed through me I couldn't decide which was stronger. We'd won. And I had lead the whole thing.


	19. Chapter 19

_**A/N:** And now the chapter I'm sure everyone has been waiting for. So sorry this took a while to upload. I kinda got stuck in a few places because I wanted this to be beautiful and tasteful. I hope it turned out that way. So, yeah. Don't go reading this in public, okay, people?! Really! XD  
_

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

About ten minutes later, everyone had recovered from the effects of the stim darts and gathered up to walk back to the tracks to wait for the train to roll through again. I separated myself from Bryce and Jake, who were enthusiastically retelling Missy and Joss about how I'd basically taken leadership of the group and orchestrated our win, and went to search for my friends. It didn't take very long to find them a little further back in the pack. Tara was over with Alex, smoothing his hair. He was obviously still upset over me shooting him. Darcy was trying desperately not to laugh, her hand clamped over her mouth. Gabe noticed me and waved.

"Over here, Ronnie!"

I waved back and jogged up, biting my lip and looking uncertainly at Alex.

"Alex..."

"I can't believe you shot me," he grumbled. But his eyes held no malice when he looked over at me. Actually, he looked somewhat impressed.

"You shouldn't have been guarding the flag," I replied with a grin.

"Yeah, yeah. But you shot me in the chest! Point blank, Ronnie!"

Darcy lost it. She nearly fell to the ground giggling.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "But I told you. I'm in it to win it. And I fucking won it."

"And keeping the flag on you," Gabe chimed in with a pat on my back. "Genius. Risky, but genius."

"Yeah, well, it was better than having Eric stand there with it while everyone else argued. That was getting us absolutely nowhere."

"And then he just let you take over like that without a word. That right there was a real shocker."

"Because we were being judged on it. It might have been a game, but it was also an exercise to help us if we end up having to think on our feet if we end up in a sticky situation. Because we're not always going to have a leader around to watch our asses and tell us what to do."

"Wait." Tara suddenly held up a hand. She had a wicked little smirk on her face that began to worry me. "So, since Ronnie shot Alex, doesn't that mean he gets to shoot her back?"

"Yes, it does," he affirmed with a small growl. "Turn around and take your shot, Ronnie."

"Oh, hell no!" I squealed and started to run off, darting between Initiates in an attempt to get away. I heard Alex start to chase me and Darcy squealing for me to run for my life.

"Get back here, Ronnie! I mean it! Just take the dart and get it over with!"

"Fuck you, Alex!"

"I swear I'm gonna get both cheeks if you don't come back!"

"Oh, fuck!"

I barely missed crashing into Eric, but managed to turn at the last second and get around him. He looked confused for a moment, watching me run circles around people with Alex still trying to chase me down.

"Take it in the ass like a good girl!"

"No! Fuck you!" I laughed as I ran. I couldn't help it. I was faster than Alex. Always have been. But he was like a dog with a bone. He wasn't about to give up until he'd either shot me or someone stopped him.

"What the hell is with all the yelling?" Four popped out of the group and put an arm out to stop Alex in his tracks. He looked between the both of us as I stopped running, too, but kept giggling.

"He's gonna shoot me in the ass!"

"Damn right, I am! You shot me in the chest!"

"Why the hell are you going to shoot her in the ass?"

"I warned her last week. If she shot me tonight, I was going to get her in the ass for it as payback."

Four raised an eyebrow and looked over at me. I shrugged, preparing myself to take off running again in case Alex decided to dodge Four's arm and come after me. But two arms suddenly wrapped around me like a vice, and I was lifted off my feet. My hands were pinned against a broad chest as I was somehow turned in those arms I had come to know the strength of so well. My mind couldn't comprehend what he was doing touching me like this with nearly two dozen other people around.

"One shot."

I gasped and looked up. Eric was grinning with that damned sly look on his face. I wriggled and tried to get free.

"No! No! No! I shot him for you! That's not right! Lemme down!"

Too late. Eric had already put me in position so Alex could get his revenge. I heard the whistle of the dart the instant before a pain I had never known before in my life other than my accident with my arm spread out over my entire left ass cheek.

"_HOLY FUCK! AAAAAAUUGGHH!_" I screeched in agony and buried my face in Eric's vest. I barely felt his arm move to yank the dart out, too busy writhing in pain and trying not to collapse on the ground in a heap. Okay, so everyone was right. Those fucking things hurt like hell. "_SON OF A BITCH!_"

I heard deep laughter near my ear and a lot more behind me. Eric gently set me down, but the instant he released his hold on me my legs gave out and I was in the dirt. My ass was still on fire even though he'd removed the dart. Gabe came to my rescue then, helping me to my feet as I continued to groan in pain and rub where the prongs had jabbed into my skin. He was trying not to laugh, but I heard his chuckles and punched him in the shoulder.

"Ow. Oh, come on, Ronnie. It _was_ kinda funny."

"Was not," I groaned back.

"You okay, Ronnie?" Darcy asked from behind me.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be fine. _Fuck_, those damn things _hurt_."

"Tell me about it," I heard Alex quip. I glared over in his direction.

"_You_..." I fumed pitifully, still clutching at Gabe's vest. "I'm _so_ going to kick your ass for that."

"Hey, I warned you." He handed his gun off to one of the other Initiates who were helping to gather everything up. "All's fair in love and war, right?"

"Oh, you little asshole," I growled and made a fake attempt to launch myself after him. But he still chuckled and skittered away just the same.

"Train!"

The yell from one of the others grabbed our attention and we dropped our little squabble in order to get ready to run and jump on. The pain was beginning to subside now, dulling into a knotted throb. I rubbed at the place I could still feel the prongs of the dart in my skin. Apparently my pants were a little too thin after all. But then again, the barbs on the darts were designed to go through thicker clothing in order to release the neuro-stim and give the desired effect.

"Go! Go! Go!"

Someone else yelled as the train started to get closer, and we gave chase, following alongside and hopping on fairly easily once the first jumpers had opened the doors and swung themselves inside. I still landed on the floor with a grunt, though. The knot in my ass wasn't helping me out much.

"Upsy-daisy," Alex grunted as he pulled me up to my feet. I slapped him on the shoulder. A little payback for actually following through with his word and shooting me. He pouted at me pitifully.

"Don't give me that face. It's not going to work."

"Awwwwww, don't be mad, Ronnie. I'm sorry."

"Liar. You enjoyed it."

"Well, maybe. Watching you lose your legs was kinda funny."

I huffed and stuck my tongue out at him. Our little bout of friendly bickering was cut short by an arm slinging around my shoulders. And it was most definitely not one I immediately recognized. I jerked my head around to look at whoever had just dared to invade my personal space and was more than a little shocked to see Tucker's dark hazel eyes looking back at me. He grinned.

"Ronnie, I was totally wrong about you." I blinked. _What the hell?_ "You're definitely Dauntless. Color me impressed."

I didn't say anything, only raised an eyebrow at his sudden change in behavior.

"Come hang out at the Pit with us tonight. We're gonna celebrate our victory."

"Umm... Yeah, okay."

I peeled his arm off my shoulder and stepped away. Tucker hated my guts. He'd barely spoken to me at all since the rankings were first posted and I'd been listed above him every week. For him to say anything nice to me was just a little weird. He didn't seem to notice my confusion, though. He simply flashed me a grin and moved on to the back of the car where his friends were waiting. I looked over at Alex, who only shrugged in response. 

* * *

It didn't take long for word to spread around the compound about who won the game tonight. Everyone on our team was surrounded by people either congratulating us or offering to get us drinks as soon as we got down to the Pit. It was a little crazy, but still very exciting. Even Eric was down on the lower levels to bask in the glory. I watched him get his pats on the back, high-fives, cheers, and applause as he waded through the crowd to the bar. He certainly liked the fame that came with being a winner.

Jake distracted my admiration of Eric's rare smile by putting a glass in my hand. I turned to face the others who were on our team against Four. They all had long shot glasses in their hands as well.

"Initiates!" Jake's voice called out over the blaring of the music, his arm looping around my shoulders as he raised his glass. "Tonight, we were led into battle by a girl who's been taking us all by surprise since day one!"

"Yeah!" Someone half-drunkenly bellowed from somewhere off to my left. I couldn't see who it was with Jake right beside me, but it was definitely one of the boys. Patrick, maybe?

"She got sick of our shit, and took control like a champ! She's the reason we came out victorious! Let's hear it for Ronnie!"

The little group let out a unanimous whoop and raised their glasses before taking a drink. Several others around us cheered as well. I grinned and took my shot along with them just before Jake wrapped me up in a tight hug.

"Awesome job, Ronnie," he told me in my ear. "Dauntless to the core, girl."

"Thanks, Jake."

He gave me a solid pat on the back before letting me go and slipping away into the crowd. After that, it was like there was no end to the drinks I was offered. I was asked to dance a lot more than usual, too. But I had fun with it all. The celebration after the game was an event all its own, and the entire Faction seemed to take part in it.

"Dance with me, Ronnie."

The murmur in my ear was more of a demand than a request as hands slid across my hips. I blinked though the slight haze of alcohol to try to identify who had come up behind me this time. Dark auburn curls clipped short came into view as I turned my head. Tucker. His dark hazel eyes were rimmed in pink from intoxication, the glint in them bordering on dangerous.

"You're drunk," I commented, turning myself around to face him. He didn't remove his hands from my hips.

"It's a party, babe. C'mon. Dance with me."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"You don't even like me, Tucker."

He snorted, swaying with the beat of the music and trying to pull me closer. "Says who?"

"Pretty much everyone."

"Well, maybe I just didn't know how Dauntless you really are before tonight."

I scoffed. "I've been Dauntless since I was twelve."

"Then I picked the right girl."

I blinked. He ignored it and continued to try to dance with me. I put my hands firmly on his shoulders and pushed back, trying to get a little distance between us. "No, Tucker. You're drunk."

"Oh, don't be like that, Ronnie. You're Dauntless, right?"

His grip hardened. He jerked me forward, making me crash into his chest with a hard grunt. It felt all wrong. I continued to push back against him, but he wasn't getting the hint. He leaned down to kiss me. I fought harder.

"Tucker, no!"

"Stop being a tease, Ronnie. You'll dance with the other guys but not me? How's that even right?"

"Get _away_ from me!"

I threw up my elbow, connecting with the side of his head. He grunted in pain and grabbed my wrist. Hard. The look on his face changed to one far more malicious than I'd ever seen before. And I had seen how he enjoyed beating people to a pulp in the sparring ring.

"Oh, I definitely chose the right girl. You're going to be a fun one."

"_Tucker!_"

The vicious growl had both of us freezing in place. We turned our heads to see Eric fuming right beside us, his cold eyes locked on the wrist Tucker's grip was starting to bruise.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Initiate?!"

Tucker's mouth moved, but no sound came out. Even the bravado all the alcohol he'd consumed couldn't push through the fear that Eric's authority brought over him.

"Didn't she tell you no?"

"Well... I... I just..."

"Let her go right this second or you're out of here. I don't give a _damn_ about your ranking."

Tucker gulped and released my wrist. I immediately pulled it to my chest and rubbed at the throbbing soreness. Eric stepped closer, his face inches away from Tucker's as he growled out his next words.

"You will respect a woman's decision when she tells you no. I will _not_ have a rapist in my Faction. If I _ever_ find out that you've done something like this again, I'll throw you into the chasm myself. Do I make myself clear?"

Slowly, Tucker nodded. "Y- yes, sir."

"Good."

Then he turned to me, his eyes darting down to my wrist again. "Come with me. I need to talk to you."

I nodded and the crowd around us parted to let us pass freely. I followed Eric silently, rubbing at my wrist until the soreness subsided. He, too, was quiet as we walked down one of the hallways and turned down another and then another. We passed no one. They were all down in the Pit, enjoying the celebration.

"You okay?"

The sudden break in the silence and the softness in his tone caught me by surprise, and I looked over at him to nod my head despite the fact that he hadn't looked at me since we left the Pit. At least not to my knowledge.

"I'm fine."

"I should throw him into the chasm just for trying to pull that shit on you in the first place."

"Tucker's just drunk. I could have beat his ass easily if I had to."

He stopped walking then, turning to face me. Anger swirled dangerously in the blue of his eyes.

"If he ever touches you again, he's going to go missing. I'm not joking, Ronnie. I'll kill him."

My eyebrows pulled together and my head tilted. "Because he wasn't taking no for an answer without getting his face smashed in first?"

Eric pulled me to him, one hand on my hip while the other gently touched the side of my face. "Because you're _mine_. I'll kill any man who _dares_ to touch you."

"But I never-"

His kiss cut me off before I finished. Needy. Hungry. The hand that has on my face moved to grip the back of my neck, his other arm wrapping around my back to hold me against his body. Fire raged through my veins, lighting up every fiber of my being like an inferno. I melted into him, clutching at the soft black fabric of his sweater. He pulled away just as quickly as he'd come at me, but kept his face less than an inch from mine.

"Say yes, Ronnie," he breathed. He was begging. I could hear the desperation in his voice. "Say you're mine. Tell me you want me like I want you. _Just say yes._"

My heart thudded heavily between the beats it was skipping in my chest. I never imagined I would ever hear Eric beg me for anything. And yet here he was, metaphorically on his knees before me. It was almost too much. The man I wanted, who also wanted me, _begging_ me to accept him as my own.

"Eric..."

I slid one hand up to his strong jawline, rubbing my thumb across the stubble on his cheek. I bit my lip, trying to fight the tremor I could feel starting in my stomach. He opened his eyes when I pulled my face away from his. My heart twisted tightly at the fear and desperation on his face and in his eyes. I probably looked like I was about to cry right then, too.

"Yes."

The instant the word left my lips, he exhaled the breath he'd been holding and his lips crashed into mine. His arms wrapped around me and lifted me off my feet. By reflex, I wrapped my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck. He turned us and moved forward until my back was pressed against something hard and flat. I heard a metallic rattling followed by a click, and whatever I had been touching was suddenly gone and Eric was walking forward.

I pulled away to see a solid metal door swinging shut behind him, closing with a hard click. I hadn't even realized we'd stopped in front of one. Really, I hadn't even been paying attention to where we'd been going in the first place. I was too busy being bothered by Tucker's behavior and Eric's silence to think to find out where he was taking me. But judging by what I could see as he continued to carry me inside the room we'd entered, I was assuming this was his personal apartment.

But I couldn't exactly take the time to fully look around the place. Eric's lips attached themselves to my neck, licking and kissing down to the collar of my sweater and then following along it until he went up the other side. My eyes closed and my head tilted back as tingles shot down my spine. He kept walking forward until his legs hit something firm, and suddenly I was being lowered down onto something soft and he was untangling my arms and legs from around him.

He stood up for a moment, looking down at me with that hungry look in his eyes that was in his kiss. Reflex made me bite my lip and clutch at the soft cloth beneath me. Sheets, I realized. He'd taken me to his bed. I looked down. Of course, his sheets were dark. Not black, but a very dark gray. Even the thick blanket tangled up in the mess of linen he'd refrained from straightening this morning was dark gray. It didn't surprise me, though. Eric was Dauntless through and through. Why would his bedding be any other color?

"Ronnie."

I looked back up at him and raised myself up on my elbows. He hadn't moved from where he stood. But his face had changed. His eyes still had the hunger and need in them, but now there was something else. Questioning. He touched my knee, still quietly looking down at me. I knew what he wanted. For all his possessiveness and his so-called claim over me, he'd never pushed it. He'd waited for me to accept him. Like he was waiting now. He was letting me decide if we took this further. It touched me deep inside. A man who wielded such power and authority in Dauntless, asking me for permission.

I couldn't speak, and I didn't even try to push words through the little lump in my chest and throat. So, I nodded. It seemed to work for him as an answer. He yanked his sweater over his head, pulling his arms out and tossing it down to the floor. My breath caught in my throat. I'd never seen him in anything less than a t-shirt, and even though they didn't leave too much to the imagination with how tight they fit him, not even my imagination could have prepared me for the sight of Eric's bare torso. He was glorious.

But he gave me little time to admire his body, descending down on top of me to capture my mouth with his in another hungry kiss before reaching for the laces on one of my boots. It took him less than a minute to get it off and start on the other. When he'd finished that task, he quickly got his own boots and socks off, then yanked both my socks off with a single pull. I smirked.

"What?" He raised an eyebrow when he saw my face. I shook my head, still grinning.

"Nothing." I reached out, sliding my hand around to the back of his neck to pull him closer. "C'mere."

"Giving me orders again, huh?"

"Oh, you like it."

He snorted, but moved to me easily to kiss me again. I slid back further on the bed and he followed, keeping his lips against mine as we went. He nestled himself between my legs and covered my body with his, trailing heated kisses along my jaw and down my neck until he reached my sweater once again. With a growl, he yanked the offending piece of clothing up my torso and over my head. I slipped it off my arms and tossed it to the floor as he continued to cover my newly exposed skin with licks and kisses.

His mouth reached the low-cut edge of my tank top, licking the top of my breast, and I arched my back into his with a gasp. His hand snaked around my back and slid up my spine, his fingers unclasping my bra with one swift move. Then he pushed the fabric up and over my head, his mouth seeking out one of my breasts before I even hand the chance to get the shirt off. I gasped and arched into him again, pushing my bared flesh even further into his mouth. His tongue swirled around and around, sending heated sparks up and down my spine. Then he moved lower, down to my hips. He growled again when he reached my pants. I couldn't help but let a giggle slip out.

"Something wrong, Eric?"

"Fucking clothes," he growled, his hands moving to unbutton my pants. "I want them off you. _Now._"

I giggled again. "Impatient much?"

His head lifted then, his eyes darkened with desire. "I've waited eight weeks for you, Ronnie. You really think I want to wait any longer?"

He yanked my pants open, dipping his head to lick the sensitive skin just inside my hip. I moaned and let my head fall back to the bed. He repeated the action on my other hip. I squirmed beneath him, but his hands kept me from moving much at all. They pushed my hips down on the bed, trapping me in place. But just as quickly as he started his torture, he stopped it and moved to sit up on his knees.

I decided to turn the tables and sat up before he could do anything more, immediately giving him the same treatment he'd been giving me. His muscles tightened as my tongue ran across the line of his hip, my fingers pulling the top of his pants down as much as I could, and a gravelly moan filled the air. Another sound my imagination could never do justice to. It was so delicious I repeated my actions on his other hip just to get the same sound and his fingers reaching into my hair. I was so thankful I'd taken it down as soon as we'd gotten back to the compound.

He tugged my head back, his grip on my hair firm but not painful. I smirked up at him. His eyes were almost animalistic now. Like his voice had been the night he'd had me against the wall in the hallway after I'd purposely made him jealous. I felt a quiver deep inside me. It excited me to see him like this. Made me want him even more.

He tugged a little harder, and I complied, leaning back on my elbows again. He moved back then, yanking my pants down my legs and throwing them across the room. He looked down at my naked body for a moment, his eyes glinting in approval. I bit my lip, feeling the blush spread across my cheeks, and I looked away, my hand reaching for something to cover myself with. I heard a rustle of cloth and suddenly he was hovering over me again, fingers cupping my jaw and tugging so I would face him.

"Look at me." His voice was soft, though still deepened from desire. I turned my eyes back to him timidly, my lips still caught in my teeth. "Don't hide yourself from me, Ronnie. Ever."

He kissed me again, tender and sweet at first, then growing in passion quickly. He pushed me back and settled into his previous position between my legs. I ran my toes up his calves, suddenly realizing he was now as naked as I was. I had a naked man on top of me. And not just any man. It was _Eric_. It was _Eric_ who was naked, his skin rubbing against mine, lighting fires when we touched. It was _Eric_ who was sliding his hand down the back of my thigh and pulling it up so he could press even further into the space between us. _Eric_. _My Eric_.

I drug my nails down his bare back, delighting in the growl the rumbled in his chest and how his muscles tensed at my touch. So I did it again, and harder. He pushed against me, and I could feel the part of him I had yet to see touching me where no male had ever touched before. Heat pooled down there, and I was desperate to feel him go further. I pulled my lips from his and nipped his neck, my hips lifting all on their own. I felt no shame to be with him like this. It felt natural. Right.

"Eric..." I sighed into his ear and he tensed again, his fingers dragging down my ribcage. "Yes, Eric. I'm yours."

It was the signal he'd been waiting for. I felt him push again, and stars erupted behind my eyes at the sensations ripping through me. My back arched. My breath caught halfway to my lungs. He pushed again with a hard groan, and I moaned loudly into the darkness. His lips and hands were all over me with each long, powerful thrust of his hips. His name tumbled from my lips in panting gasps and languid moans of pleasure. I felt as if I were about to explode from the overwhelming extacy of it all.

I let him move me as he saw fit, clawing at his skin as he went deeper. Harder. His voice dropped deeper than I'd ever thought it could as he moaned my name against my heated skin, nipping and leaving kisses in his wake. His thrusts came quicker, more desperate. I bit down on his shoulder, knowing it would leave a mark and not caring at all. Let them see. Eric was mine and I was his. Dauntless knew of the tough, cold-eyed leader, but I had the passionate man hidden deep inside.

There was a sudden pressure on my sensitive bundle of nerves just above the place he was buried deep inside, a circling to his touch the pushed me faster and closer to the edge of bliss. I tightened around him in response, dragging out a heated moan I hadn't heard from him yet. My muscled continued to tense as he kept up his motions, coiling like a rubber band being twisted around over and over and over. And suddenly I was seeing stars all over again as something deep within snapped. I screamed, unable to hold it in, my back and hips lifting off the bed from the release. He held me there, thrusting through the crashing waves of pleasure until I felt his body go rigid and he groaned against my chest.

He held us like that for a few moments before slowly lowering our bodies back down tot he dark gray sheets, panting hard and peppering light kisses across my collar bone and shoulder. He didn't pull away then as I half-expected him to. Instead, he stayed pressed against me, holding himself up on his elbows as the aftershocks continued to jolt through the both of us. I kissed his shoulder where I had bitten him. I tasted the sweat that had sprung up on his skin, and it was just as wonderful and intoxicating as everything else had been.

But eventually, he did pull away, and I immediately missed his warmth. He didn't go far, though. He nestled himself beside me, turning my back to him and pulling me flush against his body. He pulled a sheet over us, planting a kiss on the back of my shoulder.

"Stay here tonight."

It was a request, but he spoke it more like a demand. I felt his hand wrap around my waist, holding me firmly to him.

"I'll stay as long as you want me to, Eric."

I felt his lips tug up into a soft smile against my spine.

"Then stay forever. Because I'm never letting you go."

I smiled, feeling sleep start to take hold of me.

"Be careful, Eric. You still have to pretend to be an asshole in public. Can't have the rest of Dauntless see you this way."

"Don't you worry about that. I'll always be an asshole in their eyes. You're the only one who gets this part of me."


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N:** I'm so glad you guys loved the last chapter. And a special thank you to **Disneyfan259** for the idea that I just might use later on! And for **diamondgirl786**, who asked if that was the end: Hell, no, sweetie! I have a little bit more planned for these two! And if I decide to end this story, I'll make sure to note it at the beginning of the last chapter so it's clear to everyone it's the last chapter. At this point, I have no idea when this will end, but you guys can bet on me letting you know as soon as I post it.  
_

_Now. Are you guys ready for more Eric/Ronnie goodness? I hope so!_

_But I warn you now, you'll need tissues by the end of this one. I know I did. I cried like a baby writing it._

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

I woke up the next morning in the same position we'd fallen asleep in. Eric was behind me, his arm draped over my waist to hold me against him, softly snoring on the same extra large pillow I was using. I was suddenly aware of how cute I thought it was that he snored a little. Nothing obnoxious or loud, just quiet little rumbles with the occasional inhale of breath. I ran my ringers along the back of his hand, tracing his slightly scarred knuckles down his fingertips and remembering everything from the night before. How passionate he'd been. How hot his kiss felt on my skin. It warmed me to my bones.

Slowly, I turned myself so that I could face him. It was amazing to see him so relaxed and peaceful. The mask he constantly wore around everyone in the compound gone. It was almost like looking at a totally different person.

_"You're the only one who gets this part of me."_

His last words to me echoed in my mind. I felt blessed. Out of all the girls in Dauntless, I was the one to capture his attention. I was the one who was able to see the side he'd locked away from public eyes. I was the one he'd chosen. And he'd let me choose him back.

Fighting the soreness in my muscles, I untangled myself from him and slowly sat up. Our clothes were scattered all over the floor, and I really didn't want to have to go fetch them just yet. My body ached, but in a good way for once. I lifted my arms over my head, reaching for the ceiling before spreading them in a wide stretch. My wrist tingled slightly and in the dimness I could start to make out slender lines that darkened my naturally creamy pale skin. _Stupid Tucker._

Fingertips ran down my spine, and I froze as goosebumps rose on my arms. I felt them run over the flames seared into my skin with heavy black ink, tracing the lines down to my hips.

"I really do like that tattoo."

I smiled softly and turned, my gaze falling on Eric's sleepy face. "Sleep well?"

"You stayed."

He response was simple. With a touch of almost disbelief in it.

"You asked me to."

"Still. I half-expected you to sneak out on me. Go back to the dorms so your friends don't think I killed you or something."

I huffed a tiny laugh. "They wouldn't think that. More like you chewed my ass out and locked me in a closet or something for taking over War Games last night."

He scoffed and shifted under the sheets. "Never. You did good last night. I'm proud of you for taking control like that. You jumped in right before I was going to."

"You knew I would." I slid back down on the mattress, facing him. "Didn't you?"

He nodded as best he could while his face was still on the pillow. "Of course. I've been watching you for two months, Ronnie. I know you well enough by now that you can handle something like that. You'd make a good leader here."

I was touched. To hear any sort of compliment from Eric was rare, and to hear him say he was proud of me and that I could be a leader was almost too much to even fathom. I bit my lip as I smiled, but flinched involuntarily when his hand came down and touched my wrist. I saw the flash of anger in his eyes as he looked down at the bruises forming.

"That little _fuckshit_." He growled out the insult, his arm slipping over me to pull me close. "I damn near choked the life out of him last night for touching you like he did."

"I know." I nestled myself against Eric's chest, loving the warmth that radiated off of him. "Because I'm yours."

"Damn right, you are. And I'm not joking when I say I'll kill the man who dares to touch you, Ronnie. I'll do it and then wrap you up in my arms with his blood still on my hands."

"Because that's just _so_ romantic." I smirked again and kissed his shoulder.

"Don't care. They're going to learn soon that you're strictly off limits unless they want a brutal and bloody death."

"I don't really see that as being much of a problem," I commented. "Everyone's scared of you as it is. They'll all be terrified to cross you. Or me. Because I can always have you kill them for it."

He chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest. I felt his thumb trace up and down my spine. The chills it gave me had me pressing my face into his neck. I breathed deeply. He smelled so good.

"You should get back to the dorms," he murmured into my hair. "Get ready for the day. It should still be early enough that no one will see you."

I sighed, but nodded. He was right. I still had two weeks until my final testing, and Eric still had to train us. We couldn't lay in bed all day even though that's what I'd rather be doing. We'd have time for that later. I kissed his neck and slowly sat up, fighting the delightful ache in my muscles once again so I could gather up my clothes and get dressed.

* * *

"I won't ask where you've been," Darcy whispered as she stepped under the water of the shower next to me. "Because I already know. But the boys... You're going to have to think of something to tell them."

I blinked, my fingers freezing in my hair. "What do you know?"

"Honey, I was Erudite. It's in my nature to watch people. And I've seen the way you and Eric look at each other. The way he's changed around you."

I leaned in close so no one could hear us, though Gina and Alice were on the other side of the room as usual and wouldn't be able to hear us anyway.

"Darcy, you can't tell anyone. It's against the rules. No one can know."

She smiled sweetly, only the way she could when she was reassuring me and setting me at ease. "Your secret is safe with me, Ronnie. Don't worry. You're not the only one who's been sneaking off with a Dauntless man and breaking some rules."

She was right. I'd seen her slip away from the crowd multiple times just before Riz disappeared as well. I smirked. "You hussy."

"Dauntless slut," she retorted with a grin. I snickered. "So what are you going to tell them? Alex and Gabe were really worried about you last night."

"Easy. Eric let me sleep in an empty apartment after I cooled off."

"Hmm. That will work."

I nodded with her and we finished up our showers so we could head down to the mess hall for breakfast.

* * *

"He just left you in an empty apartment? All night?"

I nodded at Alex's question, taking a drink of my juice. "Yes, Alex. He knew I was pissed about Tucker's behavior, and he didn't want it to ruin the night. He said I did really well out there. Showed a skill for leadership in chaos. Said I had potential. No wall duty for me, it seems."

"That's impressive," Gabe commented. "Getting a compliment from Eric is like squeezing a rock to get water out of it. I wonder if they'll try to get you into a squad leader spot or something."

I shrugged. "Maybe. I have to finish out higher in the rankings, though. They usually only give top spots like that to top performers."

"You're still climbing the board," Tara said. "You didn't see it last night, but you got bumped up to eighth place."

I nearly dropped my fork. I was in twelfth place yesterday before the Games. The same spot I had been before the chasm incident. "I got moved up?"

Alex nodded. "You took control of the team and came up with an amazing plan to beat us. They liked that."

"Holy shit."

"You can say that again," Gabe replied with a grin.

* * *

I was still in a little bit of a daze from seeing my name moved up four whole spots after breakfast, so it took an elbow to my ribs from Darcy to make me realize that the person in front of me had left the fear landscape room and my name was being said. I blinked and stood up, rubbing my eyes. When I opened them again and looked to the door, it was wide open but empty. I guessed Four was already pulling up my file and getting things ready for my turn.

But when I walked inside the room, I didn't see Four behind the screens. I saw dark blonde hair and a double piercing above the right eyebrow. I saw blue eyes flash up at me. I saw tattooed forearms moving to pick up the electrode that was to be attached to my temple.

I blinked away my surprise and quietly shut the door. He didn't speak, only watched me walk across the room to the chair.

"What are you doing here?"

He smirked softly. "Didn't pay attention to the gossip during breakfast, I see. Four's busy with something, so I'm doing the landscapes today."

"I was busy putting my friends at ease and getting news of my own," I replied as he stuck the little electrode to my head. He let his fingers trail down to my jaw, tracing the curve of it.

"Oh, yeah?"

"I got bumped up four spots on the board."

He grunted and smirked again. "Damn right, you did. We moved you up after we got back. You earned it, Ronnie. Fair and square."

I reached up and wrapped my fingers around his wrist, lightly rubbing the inside with my thumb. I looked up and saw that he was watching me, his eyes as warm and as soft as last night. It made me smile. To see him like this, completely different than his normal behavior, made me feel so special.

"Ready to see what I'm afraid of?"

He reached behind him, and I heard a slight scraping of metal on metal before the injection gun came into view. He leaned down and gently kissed my lips, pressing the gun to my neck.

"You'll beat them. I know you."

I was still smiling when I heard the click of the trigger and felt the needle pierce my skin.

* * *

_I stayed in the doorway a little longer than usual, still trying to get used to the sight before me. Over the last few weeks, it wasn't just my parents I'd been discovering in the mess of glass and paper. My friends had been appearing as well. It only made sense, though. They'd become exactly like family to me here in Dauntless. And losing them was something that I truly and deeply feared. And I would never be able to get over that._

_I finally turned down the hallway, my knives like razor-sharp fins protruding from my arms. I heard the click of a gun being cocked. Felt the barrel press against the back of my head. The killer had finally showed up to finish the job. Too bad he'd never get the chance. I yelled, suddenly twisting myself around and slashing his arm as I threw my elbows into him and then started my back-handed swings. His pistol clattered to the floor, skittering across the black and white tiles. He lunged at me, hard and low, slamming into my midsection and throwing me off my feet._

_I fell painfully onto the solid black, the breath knocked from my lungs. Instinct kicked in and I tried to sit up. But like every time before I was trapped in the oozing darkness. I gasped on reflex, fighting harder against its hold on me, but only finding myself unable to move as always._

_"Detach yourself from your emotions, Ronnie. You're not going to win this by letting your panic set in. Fight smarter, not harder."_

_Eric's voice came through loud and clear again, just like always. His was the only voice I ever heard here. It calmed me. Stilled my struggles against the void that took away my ability to move. I closed my eyes and let myself sink. I floated down, letting the darkness envelop my body. My mind still worked even when my body didn't. I concentrated on that instead. Because if someone ever tried to control me, I would be able to snap out of it before they even realized it._

_I opened my eyes when I suddenly felt a softness beneath me. I was in bed that wasn't the bunk I claimed in the dormitory, laying across dark and disheveled sheets. The room was bright, the morning sun streaming in through partly dusty windows that covered a whole wall. I recognized it immediately. Eric's apartment. Up on the higher levels of the compound, separate from the main areas of Dauntless to allow privacy, but still close enough that he was mere moments away should he be needed in an emergency._

_"I'm not going to keep letting you talk me into skipping breakfast to fool around if you don't stop getting lazy afterward," I heard him say behind me with a slight chuckle. "Now get that insanely sexy ass out of bed right this second. We've got a fresh crop Initiates to scare the shit out of coming in and I want you up on the roof with me."_

_I rolled over and almost lost my breath. There he was in all his muscled glory, looking down at me. And with love in his eyes instead of steel. Not just like or lust. Love. Pure and unrestrained love. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. And I'd done that. I'd made him show something no one else in all the world got to see._

_My reverence was quickly cut short by the pop of glass cracking. Eric stilled, blinking in confusion for a second. Suddenly, his dark gray t-shirt had deep crimson rapidly spreading across his chest. He brought his hand up and touched the fabric, blood coating his fingers. I felt my heart shatter into an uncountable number of pieces._

_"ERIC!"_

_He stumbled forward and onto the bed beside me, rolling onto his back. His eyes were already dulling. I screamed for help, leaving him for only as long as it took for me to get to the door and screech for a medic and run right back to his side. But I knew better. They'd never get here fast enough. There was already too much blood. I was going to lose him._

_"Eric, no," I sobbed, crawling over him and laying my palms against his cheeks. "No, no, no, please. Please, Eric, no. Please don't leave me. Please. Eric. Stay awake, baby. Fight it."_

_Useless words. He'd been shot in the heart. There was no fighting this. Someone just murdered him. He looked up at me, helplessness all over his face. There was no steel there anymore. No stubborn determination. He was giving up right before my eyes. I cried harder. My hands were starting to shake as panic began to set in. I was losing him._

_"Ronnie..."_

_"Shhhh. No, don't talk, baby. Focus on staying awake for me. Help is coming. Just stay awake. Please, Eric."_

_We had precious seconds left. I clasped his hand in mine, holding it against my chest. Right over my own heart. As if I could will his to beat in time with mine. He tried to reach up and stroke my cheek. I pushed my face into his palm. I knew he was spreading his blood on my face, but I didn't give a damn. My beautiful Eric was dying and there was nothing I could do._

_"Please," I begged, tears streaming down my face in rivers of sorrow and despair. "Don't leave me here alone. I need you, Eric. Please..."_

_There was a tiny spark in his eyes. The one I was amazed at just moments ago. I knew what he'd been wanting to say. Deep down I already knew what he was wanting to tell me. And he needed to know while we still had time._

_"I love you, Eric. I love you so much. I'm yours. Forever. I've always been yours. I love you."_

_His thumb ghosted over my lips as his turned up slightly into a soft smile. I leaned down for a final kiss from him. I could feel the warmth leaving his body. He was leaving me. Eric was leaving me. My Eric._

_"Veronica."_

_The moment after my birth name left his lips, Eric was gone with one final exhale. His hand turned to a lead weight and dropped to the bed. I collapsed on top of his body, my sobs soundless for what seemed like forever but were only for maybe a few breaths. Because when I inhaled, it was deep and loud. But not as loud as the heartbroken wail that burst out of me directly after._

* * *

I sat straight up, ripping the little electrode off my temple and flinging it away. Watching Eric die in my fear landscape put me about half a second from crying out here in the real word. I had to get out of this damned room. I had to get far away. As fast as my legs would take me. I felt his hand on my arm as I shoved myself down from the chair. But I couldn't face him right now. Not after what he'd just seen. What I'd just seen.

So I ran to the door and flung it open. Then I took off at full speed. I didn't stop until I was back on my bunk and flinging myself onto it, sobbing and screaming into my pillow.


	21. Chapter 21

_**A/N:** Poor Ronnie! She had such a bad morning after such a wonderful night! I loved hearing what you guys thought of it all, and laughed so hard at **fangirl0012345**'s review. I've never heard that expression before in my life, and it was wonderful!  
_

_So here's some aftershocks followed by a super sweet ending for all my lovely fans._

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

It was probably nearly an hour before anyone found me. At least that's how it felt, anyway. I hadn't moved from my bunk, other than to grab Darcy's pillow off of hers in order to cuddle with it while I laid on my side in the fetal position and stared at the other side of the room. I felt the bed shift and a body snuggle up against mine while an arm snaked around my waist and dug itself between me and the pillow. I knew it was Darcy the instant I felt her settle against my back and stick her nose to the back of my neck. I sniffled, but didn't move.

"That bad, huh?"

She kept her voice soft. Soothing. I fought the fresh bout of tears that threatened to spill onto my already damp pillow and sniffled again.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Of course, I didn't want to talk about it. And at this point, I wasn't sure if I could even talk at all. My throat felt too thick for me to force words through it. So how could I tell my best friend that I had just watched Eric die in my arms? Especially when I wasn't even aware just how deep my feelings were for him before having to go through all that. Did I really love him? Is that what I felt for him? Was this love? I mean, I knew I cared about him. I cared deeply. No one had ever made me feel the way he did. It was confusing and glorious and stressful and beautiful all at the same time. But love? Right now, I just couldn't tell because all I could see was the blood all over his chest and the life slipping from his eyes.

"It's okay, sweetie," Darcy murmured in my ear. "You don't have to say anything. We can just lay here for a while instead. I told the boys to give you some space so they won't come in and bother you."

So that's just what we did. She cuddled me while I just laid there and sniffled every now and then. I didn't keep track of the time. I didn't care. I was being selfish and wallowing. It wasn't the Dauntless way, no. But again, I just didn't care.

The heavy sound of boots on the stairs grabbed my attention, but Darcy was the one to look. I already knew who it was even before she shifted behind me and sat up. I listened to the thudding as he crossed the room and approached my bunk. Nothing was said. I didn't bother to lift my head to find out what was going on, either. I didn't move at all, even when Darcy's pillow was suddenly pulled out of my arms. I was like a child's doll when I saw him cross into my field of vision and slip his arms under me, pull me up against his chest, and lift me right off the bed. He held me for a moment, and I just stared at his shirt as his chest rose and fell with each breath. Then I heard Darcy speak up, still keeping her voice low enough that it wouldn't travel any further than his ears.

"Don't worry. I'll just tell people that she had a really bad reaction to her simulation and she's under supervision for a while. No one will know anything else or come looking for her. I swear."

Then we were moving. I was a little surprised at how easily Eric was able to carry me all the way from the dormitory to his apartment. His stride never faltered. His breathing never changed. He never jostled me or shifted me around in his arms. Not even when we got to his door and he had to open it with me making things difficult. But somehow he did it. And then I was being carried over to the bed and set down just as gently as I had been carried.

I felt him untie the laces of my boots and pull them off my feet. Heard them thud on the floor one at a time. Then two more thuds told me he'd taken his off, too. The bed shifted, and I watched his chest come down to rest in front of me. A tattooed forearm slid between us. His fingers brushed against my cheek, tracing my jawline a few times. Then his forearm disappeared and I was pulled against his chest. I inhaled his scent, and the floodgates opened all over again.

I don't know how long we laid there as I cried, my tears soaking his t-shirt while he held me against his chest. He didn't say a word the entire time. He just stroked my hair and ran his hand up and down my back until I finally quieted down, my sobs turning into sniffles. After a while, even those stopped, and I just clung to him like he was the only thing keeping me from completely shattering into a million pieces until I fell asleep listening to the steady sounds of his heartbeat and steady breathing.

* * *

It was dark when I woke up. I immediately noticed the lack of warmth beside me in the bed, and I sat up to look around. There wasn't much furniture to decorate the room. An old leather couch set diagonally in a corner, facing the doorway with a low table in front of it, some free-weights in another corner in front of the windows. Clothes in a pile on the floor back by a door that I assumed was his bathroom. And old desk against the wall between the wall of windows and the bathroom with a chair pushed up to it and some folded clothes on top. A refrigerator humming quietly near the main doorway. But no Eric.

I slipped out from under the sheets and blanket and walked over to the door that was nearly fully closed. Flipping the switch as I pushed it open, I was happy to see that it was a bathroom. Just a sink in a counter with a toilet and a shower, but it was a bathroom none the less and I was glad for that. But the image of the woman in the mirror made me cringe. I looked like hell. My eyes were red and puffy from crying. My hair was a disaster of tangled curls. I felt disgusting even though the only thing I'd done all day was cry and sleep.

I decided to take a shower. There was a towel hanging over the shower door. Eric's towel. He'd used it just this morning after I left him. I reached out to pull it down and brought it to my face. It smelled like him. Clean, with a hint of his soap lingering in the soft cotton. My heartbeat sped up for a moment as an image of his face flashed on my mind. For once I didn't see the blood or the way his eyes glazed over as he took his last breath. I saw him looking down at me in that moment before the nightmare. A soft smile on his face. Love swirling in his cool blue eyes. My Eric.

Setting the towel on the counter, I turned on the water and slipped out of my clothes. It didn't take long for the room to fill with steam after I'd shut the door and stepped into the small space where he stood every morning to clean himself. The water itself felt wonderful, and I let it wash away the feelings of ickiness and hurt right down the drain with the bubbly lather from his soap and shampoo. It helped me feel like myself again.

When I opened the door, clean and fully dressed again except for my socks, I felt a million times better. I ran my fingers through my damp hair, separating the ringlets so they'd dry faster and curl back up without tangling. A few steps from his bed, I stopped and looked out the windows. The moon was still on the rise, and it poured into the room and painted everything a pale shade of silvery blue.

As I stood there, I felt arms wrap around my waist and I leaned back against his chest. The stubble on his face lightly scratched my cheek when he leaned down to kiss my shoulder. I held on to his arms with one hand, the other lifting to lay my palm on his cheek.

"You okay?"

It was the first time he'd spoken to me all day since before I went under the effects of the fear serum. There was worry in his tone. And sadness. I nodded slightly and sighed.

"You let me sleep all day," I commented softly. "I missed training."

"And lunch and dinner," he replied just as quietly. "Your friends are worried about you. But Darcy is doing her best to keep them from worrying too much and trying to come look for you."

I nodded again. Darcy. My wonderful, wonderful Darcy. My best friend. My Faction Sister. I think I'd give her my cake for an entire month for this one.

"She knows about us."

"I gathered that much."

"She won't tell."

"I know."

"You're not angry?"

He kissed my shoulder again. "I really have no reason to be. Besides, I know about her and Riz and I'm willing to let that slide."

"Getting a little soft, Mister Leader?"

He nipped my shoulder at my attempt at sass. I shivered and wiggled in his embrace. "It's a fair trade. She keeps her mouth shut, and I won't bust her for her infraction."

We were quiet for a bit after that, just standing there and watching the moon. It amazed me how different Eric was here with me. How gentle and sweet he became with no one around to watch him. But I understood it. He was in a position of power, and it was important for him to keep anyone from being able to do something that would take it from him. Dauntless didn't show weakness, and leaders had to be the strongest of all of us. If people saw me as Eric's weakness, they'd rob him of everything he'd worked so hard for. So for them, he had to be tough and cold.

"Eric," I finally said after several minutes of silence. "This morning..."

"I know." His arms tightened. "I didn't like it, either. And when you were in the dorms, just laying there on the bed..."

Again, he squeezed me tightly, his lips pressing harder against my shoulder.

"That wasn't the girl I knew. The girl who took the first jump off the ledge, who gave no fucks about who she pissed off because she was going to do what she wanted and prove that she was as Dauntless as anyone else here. It was like she just vanished. Like you were broken. Damn near killed me to see you like that."

I twisted myself around, wrapping my arms around his waist and laying my head against his chest. He moved his head to rest his cheek on my hair.

"I felt broken," I whispered. "Seeing you die like that... Made me want to die, too. I don't care if it's not the Dauntless way, either. I just... I can't do it, Eric. I can't."

His forearms shifted up to cross over my back, his hands against my shoulders. He sighed heavily before speaking again.

"Well, it's not public knowledge because we're the brave ones, but... When some Dauntless get too old to do their duties, instead of becoming Factionless, they jump into the chasm. And sometimes, their partner jumps with them. Because they don't want to go on without the one they love. I always figured I'd be a jumper instead of living Factionless."

I ran my fingers up and down his back as he told me about the jumpers. In a way, it really was kind of romantic to think about. Refusing to live in the worst parts of our society when we got too old to protect the people because the Dauntless way of life was all we knew. Jumping with your life partner because you don't have the will to carry on without them there anymore. Living together. Dying together.

"I'd jump with you."

His fingers ran up into my hair, nestling against the back of my head.

"I'd consider living Factionless with you."

I lifted my head from his chest to look up at him. There was truth in his eyes about what he'd said, but I saw the hesitation on his face. He didn't neccessarily want to live Factionless. Eric was Dauntless to the core. But he was willing to do it if I asked. Because he cared that much. Maybe we did love each other. I could see myself loving this man. I really could. Fighting right by his side for years until we were too old and battered to go on. And then we would leave Dauntless together.

I pushed up on my toes to kiss him, and my body lit up when he kissed me back. My head swam and my heart skipped beats fluttering around in my chest. Only Eric could do this to me. Only he could make me feel so alive and infinite, burning hotter and brighter than any star in the universe ever could.

Passion and need took over then. Like my soul was crying out for his, desperate to reconnect and wash the horror of my fear landscape away. My hands moved on their own, slipping between us to unbuckle his belt. Eric got the hint and lifted me up to get us to the bed. We crashed down on it in a tangle of kisses and tugging of clothing. Then he made love to me with the moonlight washing over through the windows.


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/N:** So sorry this took a couple days to get done, guys. Spring Break has hit us hard at work and it's just been super crazy. But hopefully this will make up for it!  
_

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

I smelled the food as soon as the door opened. Eggs and sausage and toast. And another smell. Slightly bitter, but rich and earthy. _Coffee._ That made me open my eyes. I liked coffee. I had it every morning with breakfast since I was fourteen. The Amity farmers worked hard to keep the crops of it going out in the fields, and I mentally thanked them for that every time I took my fist sip of the day.

I watched Eric juggle a large tray filled with breakfast goodies and a duffel bag slung over his shoulder as he shut the door and strolled into the apartment, not yet noticing that I was awake. He set the food down on the little table in front of the couch, and dropped the bag beside it. It made him look like some kind of doting househusband or something, the way he had brought me food. Just the thought of Eric playing that kind of role in a relationship made me giggle, which immediately let him know that I wasn't asleep anymore. He turned his head to look at me, an eyebrow cocked high.

"What's so funny?"

"You," I answered with a smile, holding the sheet to my still-naked body as I sat up in bed. "You look adorable doing that."

"You breathe a word of this to anyone, and you're in big trouble, missy. I mean it."

"Oh, I'm telling the entire Faction how our big bad leader Eric waits on me hand and foot while I lay naked in his bed."

He grunted and narrowed his eyes, but his smirk was soft and playful. I giggled again, biting my lip. He slunk over to the bed like a prowling cat before leaping on top of me with a growl. I squealed and giggled, falling back onto the pillow with him following and pressing down on me. He peppered my neck and shoulders with kisses, which made me laugh louder at his very uncharacteristic behavior. But I loved it. I loved how he could open himself now and be this way with me. It reminded me of the love my parents had for each other. Proper and formal in public, and mushy and sweet at home. It was disgusting and perfect and I loved watching them together.

"Feeling better, I'm guessing?"

He hovered over me, and I reached up to run my fingers down his cheek to his jaw. He'd already shaved this morning, so his skin was smooth and soft beneath my fingers. I smiled and nodded.

"With you here, yes."

"Good." He gave me a quick, sweet kiss. "You scared me for a third time yesterday, Ronnie."

There was a touch of sadness in his voice again, matching the look that suddenly washed over his face. It made me frown, too, because I felt bad about scaring him yet again when I'd told him just last week that I would try not to.

"I'm sorry. I just... I didn't expect to see... What I saw."

"I know. Like I told you last night, I didn't like it, either. Watching myself die is one thing, but the way you cried and begged me to hold on..." He sighed and looked down at the sheet between our bodies. "It ripped me to pieces, Ronnie."

I bit my lip, frowning deeper. I lifted my head to softly kiss him. To reassure him that I was okay now. That I wasn't going to let my fear destroy me. That I was stronger than that.

"Coffee's getting cold," I whispered when I pulled away. "And I need a shower. I smell like you."

"I like you smelling like me," he murmured, his nose rubbing against my cheek and down my neck. "Like marking my territory. Lets everyone else know to stay away from my girl."

I snorted a little laugh. "So possessive."

"Damn right, I am. You're mine, Ronnie."

"Yes, Eric," I replied, kissing his jaw. "And you're mine."

* * *

After my shower, I stepped out of the bathroom with Eric's towel wrapped around me to tell him that I didn't have any clothes other than the ones I'd been wearing the day before. But I stopped before the words had the chance to come out. The bag that he'd brought in with the food was laying open on the bed, and my workout clothes were folded up beside it. I was willing to bet I had Darcy to thank for gathering them up for me.

"Figured you'd be wanting to get back to training today," I heard him say from the couch as I crossed over to the bed.

I smiled. "You've been watching me too much."

"Part of the job to watch my Initiates."

"Uh-huh. You don't watch them as much as you watch me."

I heard him grunt and then go back to eating, so I set to getting dressed in the clothes he'd brought me with a smirk. Capri pants with a sport bra and tank top, and my sneakers instead of boots. My favorites for exercise days. Then I plopped down beside him on the couch and took a big, long drink of the coffee that was cooling, but still nice and warm. I noticed that he'd sweetened it and added creamer while I was in the shower. Apparently he'd been watching how I liked to have my coffee in the mornings, too.

We ate quietly and quickly. I felt that I was already late enough, and I was eager to get down to the training floor with my friends and release some energy. And I knew Eric wasn't one to be late for anything, not even to take care of me. Sure, he showed up for our training after we'd already gotten there and started on our stretches and stuff, but he didn't let us hang around by ourselves for very long.

"Need me to walk down by myself?" I scraped up the last of my eggs with my toast and popped it into my mouth, dusting the crumbs from my fingers down onto my plate.

"Appearances and such," was his simple reply behind his coffee cup. I nodded and kissed his cheek, jumping up to pull my hair back into a high ponytail and head for the door.

"See you in a few minutes," I chirped, slipping out the door and hurrying down the empty hallway before anyone could see me.

* * *

I was immediately swamped by all three of my friends the instant I walked through the door. Darcy flung her arms around my neck, nearly tackling me to the ground. I hugged her back tightly, and then felt four more arms encircling both of us to make it a group hug.

"You okay?" Darcy's voice was a little muffled against my neck as she spoke.

"I'm better now. Slept all day yesterday, had a shower, then slept all night."

"Darce said you got a really bad one," Gabe commented. "Ran out of the sim room crying and then went practically comatose in the dorms."

I nodded. "It was... Brutal. Messed me up. But I'll be okay."

Alex frowned, rubbing my back. "We won't make you talk about it of you don't want to. But just remember we're always here if you do."

"Thanks, Alex," I told him, smiling softly. "Now let's stretch out. I need to do something other than lay in bed and dwell on crap all day."

"Yeah, there's our girl." Gabe grinned and patted me on the back. "Dauntless as ever."

Darcy giggled and we broke up our little gathering to rejoin everyone else. The others looked up from their stretches to give me reassuring smiles and thumbs up, making me feel all warm and tingly. I wasn't as close to them as I was to Darcy, Alex, and Gabe, but they were still good to me when it came to showing support. It was nice.

Eric joined us just as I'd finished warming up, putting us to work immediately on various things around the room. I put myself on running laps around the area first, one of my favorite things to do since it let me burn off a lot of energy and clear out my head. But in it's own way, it seemed to re-energize me at the same time so I never really felt too tired to continue on to the next activity lined up in the rotation.

I felt Eric's eyes on me multiple times throughout my rotations of the little stations set up around the room. Sometimes I'd meet his gaze for a moment, and other times I pretended not to notice. The times I didn't outright look at him were more fun, because I knew he watched me longer then. I could just tell. Like his eyes saw right down into my soul or something, leaving a mark on me that only I could feel. But it didn't bother me like it had in the beginning. Now it was comforting to know he watched me, both as a trainer and leader and as a lover. I knew that Eric would be someone who would always watch my back and stand right beside me if I needed him. Not just because we were together, but also because that was the Dauntless code. Stand together. Don't leave your fellow soldiers behind.

Two full rotations and I was ready for something else. So I moved over to the knife throwing area to practice for a while. I settled back into the stance I'd been using before my injury pretty easily, adjusting just a bit to use the tips Eric had taught me when my arm was in that damned sling, and after only a few minutes I was hitting the heart area without trying very hard at all. I started showing off a little, throwing from each hand in quick succession, grabbing another pair from the tables at my sides and flinging them after taking a mere second to reset my stance. I went through over a dozen knives this way before I looked around and noticed that the others had stopped what they were doing in the other room to wander around the corner and watch me. That boosted my ego quite a bit. Enough to make me try something pretty daring.

"Hey, Eric!"

I called out to him as he started over to the area, most likely to yell at people to get back to work. But he quirked an eyebrow when he noticed my grin. I moved around the table on my left, picking up two more knives as I went. He pushed through the crowd and stood beside the table that had been on my right, crossing his arms and looking at me expectantly.

"Remember when you told me you wanted my to hit the heart with both my blades before our final test?"

"I do."

I whipped myself to face the fresh target and let the knives fly at the same time. **THWACK!** A single, although loud, sound came from the blue plexi. I heard a "_holy shit_" from behind me. Hell, even I almost had trouble processing what I was looking at. Both of my knives were in the target, side by side, dug right into the circle marking the heart area. I huffed in amazement, a smile spreading across my face as I looked over at Eric. He grunted and smirked back at me before turning to the others.

"Break for lunch! Get going!"

As everyone else filed out, Eric waited until I passed by him to reach out and gently grab my elbow. I stopped walking and looked back at him while he watched the others round the corner and disappear from sight. Then he spun me around to face him and his lips were suddenly pressed against mine for a quick, fiery kiss that left me breathless and dizzy.

"That's my girl," he murmured, his voice a soft rumble in my ear as his thumb stroked the side of my neck. "I knew you could do it. Now go catch up to the others before someone suspects something."

I smiled and turned my head just enough to kiss his cheek before jogging away to catch up with the rest of the group.

* * *

After lunch, some of the Dauntless-born Initiates had joined us in the training room, sent over by Four after having finished their fear landscape simulations. Gabe and I were on one of the sparring mats, wrestling around and practicing pinning and escaping. I preferred to pair up with Gabe for those little matches, mainly because he kept it fun as well as challenging. He talked just as much shit as I did and didn't mind the occasional stray knee or elbow in a sensitive area when we got a little goofy and sloppy rolling around on the mat.

"I got next."

We both looked up from our current hold- Gabe leaning back on his knees with me latched on to his back, my legs wrapped around his hips, his arms pulled up and back behind his head as he tried to toss me off- to see Tucker standing at the edge of the mat with a really creepy smirk plastered on his face. It gave me a really bad feeling deep in my gut and a cold chill streaking down my spine. I released Gabe's arms and he fell forward onto them with a grunt. But his body only stiffened more beneath me. He was pissed, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive.

"We're busy, Tucker," he growled. "Go play somewhere else."

Damn, Gabe had certainly grown some balls since transferring from Amity to Dauntless. He'd built up a lot of muscle, too. If he kept up the weight training he'd been doing, he'd reach Eric's size before the next Choosing Ceremony rolled around. I half-figured it was all that extra testosterone he was producing thanks to the hard training we were going through that had woken up his more aggressive side. But another part of me figured Gabe had always been a little like that. Why else would he have come to Dauntless if he wasn't already at least halfway sure it's where he was really meant to be, right?

"What's the matter, Amity? Scared I might hurt your little girlfriend? Or are you scared she'll get a taste of how a real man fights and decide to dump your ass?"

I snorted and dismounted Gabe's back. He was on his feet in a flash, stepping forward to beat the living shit out of Tucker. But I reached out and flattened my palm against his newly-muscled chest. His deep green eyes locked on mine, and I could see the rage swirling in them. Tucker snickered, and Gabe's eyes flashed back up at him. I swear I felt the heat of his fury pouring from the poor boy's body.

"That's cute. Held back by a little girl. I bet she carries your balls in her pocket, too. Doesn't she?"

"Fuck you, Tucker," I spat, turning around to face him.

"Any time you want, cupcake. You decide you wanna ditch the hippy, I'll let you ride me instead."

That did it. I damn near got knocked to the floor as Gabe launched himself at Tucker, bellowing in pure rage.

"_YOU SON OF A BITCH!_"

Where the others came from, I still have no idea. But suddenly, there they were. Alex, Jake, and Patrick all closed in at the same time, stopping Gabe in his tracks and forcing him backwards. Eric yanked me back from the four males to keep me from getting trampled in the mess of grunting and yelling.

"_I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD!_"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

"Gabe, chill!"

"_DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING TALK TO HER LIKE THAT AGAIN!_"

"Man, it ain't worth it! Hold up!"

"Gabe!"

"Dude! Relax!"

Eric didn't let it go for more than a few seconds before releasing me and shouting over everyone, his voice commanding attention from the entire room.

"_WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!_"

Gabe still struggled against the other three, but they had at least gotten to where they could hold him in place. His eyes didn't leave Tucker, his glare as murderous than ever.

"That sorry sack of shit insulted her!"

Eric blinked and looked down at me.

"Hey, all I said was she should dump the loser and get with a real man."

I saw the flash of anger in Eric's eyes the instant before he jerked his head up to glare at Tucker. No one knew that I was his girl, but they were about to find out because Eric was about half a second from ripping Tucker's head clean off his shoulders.

"Gabe and I were practicing," I spoke up quickly. "Tucker smarted off, and Gabe came to my defense."

Blue eyes as cold and hard as steel met mine again, and dammit, if I didn't just fucking _love_ the shiver it sent down my spine. Eric had went into possessive mode. Some punk had tried to make a move on his woman, and he was _dying_ to make him regret it. It turned me on faster than flicking a light switch. Eric was totally getting laid tonight just for that look in his eyes right at that moment.

"I saw the whole thing," I heard someone say from off to the side. Bryce. "Tucker wanted to spar with Ronnie."

"Is that so?" Eric looked from me to Bryce and then to Tucker, who nodded. Then he returned his gaze to me. "And?"

I sent a small glare Tucker's way. No way was I about to let him think he was going to get away with his shit. I'd had it with his attitude. He was still four spots under me on the rankings board, and I wasn't going to let him think he could intimidate me in any way and try to take my heard-earned place.

"I'll spar him."

"Ronnie..."

Gabe struggled against the boys again. There was concern in his voice. He knew Tucker fought dirty. He'd had to spar with him before during one of the combined grouping days. Poor guy had gotten a black eye and three cracked ribs in their last match.

"No," I said firmly, holding my hand up. "I got this. Someone needs to settle this shit once and for all."

Eric grunted and waved in the direction of the mass of males, signalling them to vacate the mat. Gabe went willingly, but his eyes never left me as he backed down to the cement floor. Tucker snorted and took off his jacket, letting it drop to the ground. His creepy smirk broadened into a wicked grin. He was obviously going to enjoy this.

"Let's get this party started, cupcake," he sneered, taking his starting stance.

I glared back at him and brushed against Eric's chest to stand on the opposite side of the mat. Eric said nothing, only moved out of our way. Not like he really could. To warn me against fighting Tucker wouldn't look good for more than one reason. And he knew I'd argue with him on it anyway. I wasn't going to back down from this asshole. Especially not after the stunt he pulled in the pit after War Games.

Tucker didn't wait for any kind of signal to start the match. He lunged at me, aiming his fist for my ribs. I spun around to dodge it and jammed my elbow in his spine between his shoulders. He grunted and stumbled a step before swinging around and punching me in the shoulder. I hissed and swung back, connecting with his jaw. He grunted again, but that damn smirk of his spread across his face once more. He was definitely liking that I was fighting back.

He lunged again, but this time I rolled with it and used my legs to flip him off me before he could land any blows to my face or torso like I knew he'd be going for. I spun myself around on my ass as soon as he'd cleared my head and kicked him in the back of the thigh, then scrambled back up to my feet, raising my elbows for another attack. But I didn't count on him being so quick, even on the floor and grabbing the spot I'd just hit. He twisted himself and swept his good leg around, knocking me onto my back. Then he grabbed my foot and yanked me across the mat, slamming his fist into my ribs. I yelped and kicked, connecting with his shoulder and knocking him away again.

"Lot of fight in you, baby," he crooned. "I love it when a woman fights back. Gets me good and hard."

"Go fuck yourself, Tucker," I spat back, my hand on my ribs. The pain was making me see little white spots already, and I wondered for half a second if any were cracked or broken.

He lunged a third time, arm swinging down to slam right into the side of my head. I hit the mat hard with a breathy grunt. Then I felt my right arm being yanked back and twisted behind me. I cried out as fire erupted in my shoulder and my face was shoved down into the worn leather. I could feel Tucker pressing himself into me, much like Eric had done that morning he taught me how to get out of Gabe's choke hold. But this time felt different. Tucker was flat out trying to dominate me whereas Eric had been testing me for my response to him. It felt disgusting, and I cringed when he grabbed my ass and squeezed roughly.

"We can do it just like this," he purred in my ear as he leaned down over me. "I bet you like it really rough, don't you, baby?"

I opened my eyes and through the blinding pain, I saw Eric stiffen. The muscles of his jaw flexed as he clenched his teeth. I couldn't see his hands since he had his arms crossed, but I knew they were balled into tight fists, knuckles white with rage. But I was going to do his work for him. No way was this little shit going to get away with touching me like that. I was not the kind of bitch that let things like that slide, and Tucker was about to learn that.

I let out a yell of anger and slammed my head back into his. He screeched and something wet dripped on my bare shoulder, but he'd loosened his hold just enough for me to bring my free elbow up and into his ribs as hard as I could. That was enough to knock him off me. I swung my elbow again, pulling myself up on my knees and using my hand for more power, jamming it into Tucker's ribs again as he fell to the mat. I kicked the other side of his ribcage, the one I hadn't just elbowed twice, satisfied with the grunt of pain that came from his nasty little mouth. Blood was pouring from his nose. I could taste it in the air.

"I'm Dauntless," I sneered, backing away a couple of steps. "Of course, I like it rough."

Tucker snarled and launched himself at me from the floor. His whole weight slammed into me like a ton of bricks, knocking me onto my back. I might have gotten lucky his fury blinded him because he landed more on my side than flat out on top of me. So I used to to my advantage and elbowed him again in the very same spot I'd already gotten a couple of times now. He was definitely going to have a massive bruise on his ribs at the very least. Then I brought my heel up and slammed it down onto his thigh again, and as he yelled and twisted himself around, I clambered to my feet and punched him in the face twice.

My fucking hand was _on fire_ after connecting with his hard head, but I couldn't let that stop me. I jumped on his back and wrapped my forearm around his throat, pulling back like I had Darcy during our little match the other day. Tucker choked and flailed. I held on tighter. I was pissed and there was no way I was going to show him any mercy and let him out of my hold. I could attach myself to someone's back like a monkey, making it damn near impossible for them to get me off. Gabe was trying to learn through our sessions together, but he had still yet to do it without my instruction.

"_Enough._"

I heard Eric's voice call an end to the match as soon as Tucker's body went limp. I released the asshole, letting his head smack down on the mat with a wet thud. Blood was smeared all over my arm, but I wasn't paying attention to it as I fell back on my ass and rolled away. I cradled it to my body, my hand covering my shoulder. Heat radiated from it like a furnace in the middle of winter. Part of my mind began to freak out. Did he rip something when he yanked it back? Was there permanent damage this time? But part of me was over the moon at having just beaten the shit of Tucker.

"Get him to the infirmary. Now."

Eric's voice sounded cold as ever. Tucker had just made number one on his shit list. I was even willing to bet he'd be bumped down another spot on the board for today. Someone pulled Tucker away and I heard a couple of groans and protests about his weight as they carried him off. Then a rush of air as someone landed next to me on the mat. A fresh rush of pain as a hand touched my shoulder. I hissed and winced, and the offending pressure was removed.

"Holy shit, Ronnie!" Gabe. Gabe was beside me. I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me with a mixture of pride and worry. "You okay? You totally kicked his fucking ass. Oh, fuck, your face. We need to get you to the infirmary, too. Shit, there's blood everywhere. Alex, help me get her up."

I groaned and closed my eyes again. It was hurting to try and keep them open. My head was throbbing. I felt arms slide under me and shakily lift me up off the mat. I heard Alex on my other side, and two more hands helped lift me up. Then Darcy's voice next to my head.

"I'm going, too. You guys get back to work. I'll help Gabe."

"You got it?" I heard Alex ask. He was worried, too.

"Yeah," Gabe grunted. The closeness of his voice told me he was the one carrying me. "I got her. Fuck man, he did a number on her."

"Not as bad as she did on him," Darcy beamed. "She beat the living _shit_ out of him."

"You two hurry up and get back here," I heard Eric order. "You're not done yet for the day."

"Yes, sir," Gabe answered. "Back in a flash."

I let myself black out then. My body was screaming in pain, demanding rest. And I was more than happy to give in to it.


	23. Chapter 23

_**A/N:** Soooooo happy you guys loved the little fight between Ronnie and Tucker. And that it seems like everyone else loves possessive Eric, too! XD Hopefully this lives up to expectations when it comes to quality time alone for the two. And addresses a concern for a few of you when it comes to certain things.  
_

_Also, I wanna add a small edit to this even though it's a bit late and I forgot to stick it in when I originally posted this chapter and wish Jai a very happy 29th birthday! Sending him tons of love and admiration and I hope he continues to chase his dreams and has a long and wonderful acting career! Keep up the amazing work, Jai!_

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

Everything was quiet when I woke up later that evening in the the infirmary. I slowly opened my eyes, biting back a hiss in response to the throbbing on the side of my head. But looking down, I was relieved to see my arm wasn't in a sling again. Hopefully that meant that nothing was damaged in my shoulder. My body ached all over. Well, I certainly _felt_ like I had been in a fight, that was for sure.

A hand clasped the top of the one that I hadn't used to punch Tucker, and I shifted my gaze over to see Eric in a chair on my left. The look of pride and relief on his face as he quickly moved to sit on the side of my bed was overwhelming. He reached out to gently stroke the unbruised side of my face.

"Hey," I whispered weakly, attempting a small smile. "What time is it?"

"Just after dinner," he answered softly. "You weren't out for more than a few hours this time."

This time. Which meant he _had_ come to check on me during the two days I was unconscious after the chasm incident. Not like I really had to question that, though. I figured by now that he had.

"Tucker?"

His blue eyes flashed coldly at the mention of the name.

"Still unconscious in another room. You really did a number on him, Ronnie. Good girl."

I smirked. "Had to. Fucker had it coming to him for a long time. Maybe he'll finally leave me alone now."

"He better, if he knows what's good for him."

I snorted a little snicker, mentally regretting it as soon as I did it. My damn face still hurt.

"I think I sent him a pretty clear message. No one fucks with this bitch and gets away with it."

He smirked and shook his head. "I swear, no one can ever question what Faction you belong to, Ronnie. You're the perfect model of a Dauntless woman."

"I guess you chose the right one, then, huh?"

He grinned and leaned forward to lightly kiss my lips. "Damn right, I did."

I smiled and shifted a bit, getting a nice jab of pain from my ribs as a reward.

"Ow. Damn, that fucking hurts." I sighed again. "So what's the damage?"

"A couple cracked ribs, stretched the muscle in your shoulder a little, a few deep bruises on your face, cracked a knuckle, minor bruises in other places from hitting the mat so hard. But other than that, you're fine."

"That's good. And him?"

He grinned widely then, practically to the point of beaming. "Broke three of his ribs, cracked two more, broke his nose, bruised his neck, back, jaw, and cheekbone, and added a nice little limp to his walk for at least a week from the kicks you gave him."

I ignored the pain in my face as I smiled smugly. Bastard. He deserved every one of his injuries.

"Good."

"And..." He shifted a little closer, pride still all over his features. "Because you did so well against a guy twice your size, you're now sitting pretty in sixth and he's been knocked down to thirteenth. I was only going to knock him down one, but since I hate his fucking guts for touching you, I thought two was more appropriate."

My jaw dropped. Two spots. I'd been moved up two whole spots on the board, and him down two. And since Tucker was in thirteenth, that meant he was under Gabe now, too. Tucker was going to have a complete shit fit over that when he woke up and found out. I felt like cheering. If I wasn't all busted up, of course. So I settled for a small huff and squeezing Eric's hand.

"And when can I get the hell out of here? I've already spent too much time in this place."

"Tomorrow morning. Doc wants to keep you overnight just to be sure everything is fine."

"Oh, come on, Eric. I don't want to sleep here. I want to be back with you in your bed."

He quirked a brow. "Is that so?"

I narrowed my eyes in a playful scowl. "You know it is. Besides, seeing you get all possessive today was pretty hot."

He chuckled and squeezed my hand. "You like that, huh?"

"Damn right, I do. I would have jumped your ass right then if I could have."

Another chuckle. "I can't say I don't find that thought appealing. I wanted to do pretty much the same thing after you beat Tucker off you. Especially after you told him you liked it rough. If I wasn't so pissed about the ass-grabbing bit beforehand, I would have been fighting off a hard-on."

I snickered. "Got you all hot and bothered, did it? Your woman liking it nice and rough."

He shot me a look that needed no words. He was getting turned on just thinking about it. I could see it in his eyes. The way they trailed down my body. The way his thumb traced circles on the inside of my wrist. I made me want him right there on the infirmary bed.

"Come on," I said softly. "Let's go back to your place."

"I can't be rough with you right now, Ronnie." His voice sounded slightly strained. He was fighting his urges. "You're a little beaten up at the moment."

"Fuck that. Take me to bed, Eric. _Now._"

* * *

I woke up just before dawn, curled up in Eric's arms as we shared the same pillow again. His nose was lightly touching the top of my spine, each breath he took fluttering warmly across my bare skin. It only took a single movement to realize that I had only merely thought I was sore in the infirmary. My entire body was screaming at me to cease all activity immediately.

But I smiled against the pain in favor of the memory of just hours before, after I'd left the infirmary with Eric and went back to his apartment with him. He'd gotten a little rough with me this time. Not as much as I probably would have liked had we tried, but as much as my battered body would allow him to be. Because for all his man-handling, he was still careful with me to keep from adding to my injuries.

"No..." I heard him murmur against my bare back as he pulled me closer. "Don't get up yet. Just a little while longer."

The idea of Eric wanting to be lazy and stay in bed struck me as humorous. It was the exact opposite of how he'd been in my fear landscape. And how he was every day during training. It made me giggle.

"I need to shower and go see the doc," I replied softly. "He's going to flip when he finds out I left last night."

"I don't care," came the rumbling reply against my skin. "Do you?"

"Not really. But still. I need to make sure Tucker didn't fuck up my shoulder again. And besides." I painfully shifted around to face him. "I want to see how bad my face looks."

He cracked open a single blue eye. "Really bad."

I scoffed and smacked his shoulder. "Gee, thanks."

"You got into a _fight_, Ronnie. How do you _think_ it looks?"

I nipped his bicep and rolled away as he grunted. I didn't even bother covering myself as I walked to the bathroom. Eric had seen everything there was to see on me a few times now, and he'd told me not to hide myself from him anyway. Plus, how was I supposed to look at the aftermath of my battle with Tucker if I was clothed? I needed to see everything. Every bit of evidence that I took on that fucking dipshit and came out on top. That I was not a bitch to be fucked with.

But as soon as I flicked on the light in the bathroom, my jaw just about hit the floor. The right side of my face was black and blue and reddish-purple all around the outside my eye and down my cheek to my jaw line. There was also a closed cut up on the highest part of my cheekbone near my temple, held together by three little butterfly bandages. The left side of my ribcage was an equally ugly mottle of black, blue, and yellow. My knuckle was red and swollen, but not too terrible. There were lighter bruises on my shoulders, chest, back, arms, and thighs, but I knew a few of those were from Eric and that didn't bother me so much. No, what really got me was my face.

"Fucking hell, Eric!"

I heard him shift in bed. "What?"

"You didn't think to mention the gash on my face?!"

"It's not so bad. They closed it up and said it'll heal just fine."

I scoffed, my eyes refusing to look away from the mark. "Ugh. It's going to scar, isn't it?"

I felt arms wrap around my hips, placed just right to avoid touching my ribs. His lips pressed against the back of my shoulder.

"So what if it does? It'll just make you look tougher to the new Initiates. And no less beautiful to me."

I sighed. I finally was able to close my eyes and stop staring at the hideous mark on my face. I leaned back against Eric's chest and turned my head to nuzzle his neck. He was probably right. A scar could me me look more intimidating to people. Less of a chance they'd want to start shit. And I wouldn't be the first or only Dauntless with a scar. Lots of them had at least one visible one, and it didn't seem to bother them at all.

"Fine," I murmured and kissed his neck. "Alright. I need a shower. You can either join me or not. Your choice."

"If I join you, you won't be getting very clean. I'll wait."

He smirked and kissed my shoulder again, then smacked my ass with his open palm before leaving me to take my shower.

* * *

"You got lucky, Ronnie. No tearing this time. Just a little minor stretching. You'll be fine in a few days with the med packs."

I smiled at the doctor. He was definitely putting me at ease with my concerns about my shoulder. It was the main thing that worried me. Especially now that I was flinging knives like nobody's business again. But now I was being stuck back on the med packs, three times a day for the next few days, then down to twice a day until two weeks had passed. Which really was fine by me. They helped us heal faster from our wounds here in Dauntless. Otherwise the infirmary would stay packed throughout the initiation process.

"The fractures on your ribs are surprisingly lighter than I expected them to be considering you were in a fight, but try not to stress yourself too much over the next week or so," he continued, tapping the screen in front of him a few times to change the pictures of my scans. "Your hand will be fine. Hairline fracture of the knuckle. Just don't go punching things for a bit, okay?"

I huffed a small laugh and nodded, taking a drink from the straw stuck in the med pack I was currently consuming happily. It was quickly numbing the pain from my injuries, helping me feel more normal by the minute. "Okay, Doc. But if someone else starts a fight with me, don't expect me to back down from it."

He laughed and shook his head. "Oh, I know. I heard the entire story about what happened with Tucker from Darcy when she and Gabe brought you in. And all I have to say on that is good for you. Hopefully he's learned his lesson and won't be bothering you anymore."

"Or any other girl for that matter. Because I'll do it again if I find out."

He laughed again. "Why do I get the feeling I'm going to be seeing a lot more of you while you're here with us?"

This time I laughed with him. I handed him the now-empty med pack and he tossed it in the trash beside the computer. "Thanks, Doc. I'll see you later this afternoon for a refill."

"See you later, Ronnie. Stay out of trouble."

"I'll try," I told him as I left the room, giving him a little wave before letting the door close behind me.

I didn't get but to the end of the hallway before I heard a soft moan come from around the corner. It sounded pained, which immediately grabbed my attention. Could it be another Initiate coming in? That seemed a little odd considering it was right around breakfast time and no one should be out training just yet. But it wasn't exactly uncommon. Sometimes a few Initiates started their days early, getting in a couple extra hours before the others.

I popped my head around the corner. One of the female soldiers I'd seen quite often around the compound was bent over, the top of her head pressed against the stone wall, long black hair streaked with blue slung over one shoulder, her arm supporting her belly. Liz. She was one of the women who were on leave from duty because she was pregnant. But if my memory served correct, she wasn't due for another two weeks or so. She moaned again, the hand she was using to support herself up on the wall curling into a fist.

"Oh, shit," I gasped, rushing up to her side. "Liz! Are you okay?"

"The baby," she grunted, panting as her face contorted with pain. "The baby's coming."

My mind raced. I'd learned about pregnancy and all that when I was in school. It was part of the mandatory curriculum. Facts and textbook information came flooding back in an instant, and I was so thankful I'd been such a good student and paid attention in class.

"How far apart are the contractions?"

She grunted as she let me slip her arm around my shoulders to support her weight while I turned her in the direction I'd just come from. The exam room I was in wasn't very far. We could make it there easily. Then Doc could take over with the labor and delivery. Her slender hand grabbed hold of mine tightly.

"Two minutes? Maybe less. Probably less. I should've come down last night. But I thought it was another false alarm."

Two minutes was pretty far into labor. She could have this baby right here on the floor if we didn't hurry. I rubbed her back and we kept taking little steps toward the rooms. I needed to get Doc. We needed to get Liz off her feet.

"_I NEED A MEDIC OUT HERE!_"

I screeched as loud as I could manage, still moving Liz forward. She didn't seem to even notice. She was busy trying to walk and breathe at the same time. The exam room I'd been in just moments ago opened, and the doc popped his head out. Around the same time, two more doors opened and a couple of nurses leaned out to look down the hallway at us. All three gasped and came running. They got to us just as I felt Liz's legs give out.

"Get a gurney," Doc ordered, slipping Liz's other arm around his neck to help support her weight. "I need an IV prepped. Open up the maternity bay and get it ready. Hurry!"

The nurses ran off in a flurry of urgency. Doc and I just kept Liz moving. We couldn't just stand around and wait for the gurney. Liz was getting heavy and it looked like she was having another contraction.

"Doc, she's not due for another couple weeks."

"Sometimes they come early and surprise us," he replied. "Good thing you were here. She could have delivered in the hallway alone. Not really something she probably couldn't handle, but still. We'd prefer things like that not happen, you know?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I wouldn't want to be doing this alone, either. I read in school about how stressful it is and how there could be potential complications with delivery. It's a little scary."

The nurse returned with a gurney and two more nurses, and they helped Liz up onto it with only minor issue because she refused to let go of my hand while they did it.

"Don't go," she pleaded. "Please."

"I'm not going anywhere, Liz. I swear. I'm right here."

"Come on, people," Doc ordered. "We don't have a lot of time here. We need to get her prepped. How far apart are the contractions?"

"Maybe a minute or so," I answered for Liz as we ran with the gurney down the hallway.

"Shit. She's probably already crowning. Liz, honey, we're gonna have to cut off your pants."

Liz groaned. "I like these pants."

I couldn't help the little snort that came out. It was kinda funny.

"It's okay," I told her. "We'll get you some new pants later."

The door to the maternity bay was open and ready for us, three assistant nurses already setting everything up inside one of the little areas that had curtains on either side to partition it off from the rest of the room. I wasn't sure if I should really be there, but I'd promised Liz I'd stay with her. So I did the best I could to help her remember to breathe and encourage her to keep going and tell her how well she was doing. Basically what I'd been taught in school.

But it worked. I held on to Liz's hand through the whole thing while people rushed around us, and Doc delivered the baby less than ten minutes after we'd gotten into the maternity bay. I was amazed at how fast it went. Apparently this kid was more than ready to come out and greet the world. And what a set of lungs. The screams almost drowned out the announcement that it was a girl. And then continued for the entire time the nurses cleaned her up and checked her over to make sure she was completely healthy and log her stats into her records.

It was only when they brought the newest addition to Dauntless did Liz let go of my hand so she could hold the baby. And it was then that the baby finally stopped screaming her head off. It was like she just knew instinctively that these new hands touching her were the right ones, the ones meant to hold her and take care of her. Doc patted me on the back when I finally stepped away from the bed to let Liz bond with her baby. He was beaming down at me, and I realized I had the same grin on my face, too.

"Good job, Ronnie," he said, his hand still up on my shoulder. "Very good job."

"I can't get credit for this one, Doc," I replied, looking back at Liz and her baby. "She did all the work. I just helped her out a little."

"Moral support is important in times like these," he insisted. "You offered it to her when she needed it. And it helped her stay strong. So you should get credit for that. Come on. Let's let them get to know each other for a bit. They've had a rough morning."

I huffed in amusement as we turned to leave the room. We'd all had a rough morning. Pure chaos, really. I seriously never imagined I'd be helping to deliver a baby. Actually, I hadn't ever really thought about having one myself until I saw how Liz looked down at her little girl for the first time. So much love for such a tiny little thing in just one glance. So much innocence to protect and nurture and guide through the world. I suddenly wondered if I would have that with Eric. Surely one day, right? If we did love each other, then why wouldn't we consider having children in the future?

Then it hit me. Eric and I had been together three times now. And we hadn't had the forethought to take measures to prevent a pregnancy any of those times. We'd been too caught up in the moment, too crazy with want and need to even think about it. Or at least I knew that I had been. But I didn't actually want to have a baby yet. No matter how warm and fuzzy I got seeing Liz and her daughter. I knew I wasn't ready for that. That Eric and I weren't ready for that. Not yet. I was only eighteen. I hadn't even finished the initiation process into Dauntless yet. And bringing a baby into the mix right now just didn't seem fair for anyone.

"Doc?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I... Ask you for something?"

We both stopped walking, and he looked down at me with concern.

"Everything okay, Ronnie?"

"It's just..." I looked down the hall, checking to see that we were alone. "I need your help. Medical-wise."

He nodded. "Come on into my office. More privacy that way."

He led me down the other way to his office and held the door open for me. I settled down into a chair in front of his desk and he leaned against the front of the desk with his hands clasped in front of him.

"Okay. What's on your mind?"

"I need to see about getting on some type of birth control."

He nodded. "You've found a boy here in Dauntless and it's getting serious."

I nodded.

"And have you two already..." He trailed off, but the rest of the sentence was clearly understood. I nodded again. "And do you think there's a chance you might already be pregnant?"

I blinked. His question had caught me off-guard. "Um.. Well... I don't think so. I mean, I guess it might be possible since we... You know. But I'm pretty sure not just yet."

He nodded. I was really glad we didn't actually have to say everything and could still get our point across easily.

"Well, okay. How recent did this start?"

"This week. After War Games."

He nodded again, thinking. "That's only a couple of days ago. I'm getting a little personal here, but it's important. How many times?"

"Three."

He smirked. I blushed.

"I'm sorry," he said, trying not to laugh. "I don't mean to embarrass you. Really."

I tried to hold back my own little laugh. This was embarrassing. But funny at the same time. "It's okay, Doc."

He regained his composure and cleared his throat. "Well, you've been through the classes in school, so you know your odds. And since it's still early, I can go ahead and start you on something and it wouldn't noticeably affect anything. What I have available right now is effective for three months at a time. How does that sound?"

"Injections, I'm assuming?"

"Aren't they always?"

I snickered. "Okay, Doc. Shoot me up."

"I'll be right back."

When he left the room, I started doing the math in my head. War Games was four days ago. My monthly girl time bit ended... The morning before Darcy and I sparred. Which was about three or four days before War Games. So by that logic, I hadn't yet hit my fertile window. There wasn't much of a chance at all of me being pregnant yet. Unless Eric had some super sperm swimming around in his crotch.

Okay, I seriously didn't need to start thinking about Eric's crotch right now. I was in a doctor's office, for crying out loud. I didn't need to be getting myself turned on by thinking about Eric and his gorgeous muscles and piercing eyes and fiery kisses and those hands that knew just where and how to touch me and drive me crazy and leave me begging for him to never stop. The way he looked when he got possessive. How hot it made me to see him like that. How much it made me want to let him display his claim on me right there where everyone could see.

Doc came back into the room just seconds before I had gotten myself to the point of needing to leave to go find Eric and fix the heated situation I was quickly getting myself into. He held up an injector gun and a small vial of clear liquid for me to see. It was enough to pull me out of my little fantasy world and back into the present, thankfully.

"Here we go," he said, loading it in and moving to the side of his desk. "Now, the only thing is it has to be injected into the front of your hip instead of your neck like they do with other serums. Closer to the part of the body it works with and all."

I nodded and stood up, pulling down the top of my capri pants at my hip just enough to give him room to work with. He pressed the tip of the gun to my skin and squeezed the trigger. The needle hurt a little, but I'd gotten used to being poked with them after having to go into my fear landscape nearly every day lately. I adjusted my clothing back and he set the gun down on his desk.

"I'll make a note on your file so it'll send a reminder to me when it's time for your next injection."

"Thanks again, Doc." I gave him a soft smile. "For everything."

"Not a problem at all, Ronnie. It's good that your being responsible about this. Not everyone else is. Oh, and thank you again for your help with Liz. We'll send word out to The Wall and let Matt know she had the baby and everything is fine. And I'll see you in a few hours for another dose of your med packs."

I nodded and again gave him a small wave as I left his office. Man, today had gotten crazy fast. But a good kind of crazy. Not a lot of people could claim they'd helped deliver a baby into the world. But now I could.I was just glad that nothing had went wrong and that both Liz and her daughter were fine, and her partner, Matt, would be coming to see her after his shift on The Wall. Meanwhile, I had training to get back to.

* * *

Eric caught me just before I got to the training room, pulling me to the side of the hallway and into one of the little niches in the wall. He backed me against the wall and pressed himself into me as he fiercely kissed me. It lasted only a moment, but that was more than enough to leave me weak in the knees and breathless.

"Where have you been?" His voice was hot and deep in my ear, laced with annoyance and worry. "You missed breakfast. I expected you to be there with your friends."

"I'm sorry," I told him, reaching up to run my fingers over his chest. "I finished my check-up and ran into Liz in the hallway on my way out. She was in labor. I had to stay and help her out."

He pulled his face back to look down at me, surprised. "You delivered a baby?"

"I helped. It was amazing, Eric. Just incredible. She's so tiny and beautiful and just so precious. Even when she was crying. You just take one look at her and you just fall so in love with her it's unreal. I've never seen or felt anything like that before."

I couldn't hide the amazement in my voice. It truly was one of the most outstanding things I'd ever witnessed in my life, and I was still riding the high from all the excitement. Eric must have seen it in my eyes because he suddenly looked at me oddly. Like something clicked inside his head that he hadn't yet thought about.

"Do you want one?"

I blinked up at him. His question was completely out of the blue. Even after my little talk with the doc, which I admit I'd already completely forgotten about in light of the other events of the morning, I wasn't expecting him to bring the topic up at all.

"Huh?"

"Do you want a baby?"

"Right now?"

He just looked at me, saying nothing. I couldn't read his expression anymore. He'd slipped a neutral mask on, hiding his emotions from me. It was actually a little frustrating in that moment because I wanted to know what he was feeling as he was asking me this. I sighed and placed my palms on his cheeks.

"Stop hiding, Eric," I whispered. "You don't have to hide yourself from me. Just like I don't hide from you."

The little glint of acknowledgement in his eyes was the crack in his armor I needed. I pushed up on my toes, gently pressing my lips against his. He stayed still, but I could feel him hold his breath before his fingers found my hips and pressed into them. I arched my back, pushing my lower body further against his and kissing him harder. He relaxed into me then, our kiss deepening. He stepped forward, pinning me more firmly against the wall. I could feel all the strength in his muscles thanks to the thin fabric of my clothing. It was a fight not to undress him right there in the little alcove, give in to the passion he was stirring up inside me.

"Don't worry yourself about us having a baby right now," I said softly when he finally pulled back, looking deep into those beautiful eyes that had softened for me once more. "It's too early for that. We have plenty of time to talk it through later. Okay?"

"You know that we haven't been..."

I nodded as he trailed off and didn't finish his sentence. "I know. It's okay. You trust me, right?"

"Yes."

"Then you know you can trust me when I tell you not to worry about it." I glanced down the hallway, then looked back up at him. "This isn't the place or the time for this kind of discussion. We can talk later, okay?"

He frowned slightly, but nodded. He knew I was telling him the truth. Hell, he damn well should know by now that I told the truth. My Candor upbringing made it too damn difficult for me to lie to people. And I'd never lied to Eric about anything. I hoped I'd never have to. I was really bad at it.

"Go join your friends," he said softly. "I'll be in there in a few minutes. I have to go see Doc about Tucker's condition before we go out for the run around the city."

I nodded and met his lips halfway when he quickly leaned down to kiss me again. Then I slipped by him and hurried down the rest of the hallway to the training room.


	24. Chapter 24

_**A/N:** Okay, so I finally set up a tumblr blog for photo references, and I've posted a phoenix tattoo that I found a while back that I edited so that it gives a really good idea of what Ronnie's tattoo on her back looks like. You can check out my profile for the blog page address because I have yet to figure out how to put a link in here. I hope you guys love it as much as I do and tons of props to the original creator of the design!  
_

_Also, I'm not sure how quickly I'll get my next chapter up, because I'm going to go see Insurgent on Saturday with my sister and I might be a massive emotional mess afterward. But I'll try to get it up as quickly as possible!_

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

I didn't see Tucker until two days later, when we were gathering to go pick up supplies the Amity trucks were bringing in from the fields outside The Wall. And damn, did he look like hell. I did my best not to smirk when I first spotted him sitting on the half-wall in the training room with his friends, but I can't say I didn't feel proud as fuck when I saw the bruises on his face and neck and the bandage going across his nose. He didn't say a word when I walked by. He just simply glared at me as if he was trying his hardest to kill me with his mind. Of course, I completely ignored him and continued on my merry little way.

I also hadn't been back to Eric's apartment in the last two nights, either. It would have raised questions with the rest of our group why I wasn't sleeping in the dormitory when there was nothing wrong with me. But that didn't mean I wasn't wishing I could be back in Eric's bed with him instead of my own. I'd slept over only three times, but I learned pretty fast that first night without him that I'd already gotten used to feeling the warmth of his body beside me as I slept. I missed having his arms around me, holding me close. Feeling his breath dance across my skin. Hearing his soft little snores as he rested peacefully. The wonderful smell of his skin I breathed in as if it was the only thing keeping me alive. I yearned for it all, and all that yearning made it really hard to fall asleep and stay asleep in the dormitory.

But we had appearances to keep up. At least for another week or so, until I was through with my initiation into Dauntless. Then we could decide when to take the next step to let it be publicly known that we were together. So for now, as far as anyone other than Darcy knew, Eric was merely my trainer. We made no contact with each other in front of people that would suggest otherwise or raise any suspicions, keeping our heated encounters short and carefully hidden away in empty rooms and dark corners.

But two days of no Eric was starting to drive me crazy. I lost count of how many times I'd caught myself drifting into memories of our nights together while I was supposed to be busy with my training. I was craving the feel of his hands on my body, the sound of his breathing in my ear as he held me close, his moans when I did something he liked, the growls when it was something he really liked, the way his muscles flexed and hardened under my fingers, the fiery shivers that raced up my spine from his touches and kisses, the way his sweat mingled with the scent of his skin that made left me lightheaded. I wanted to find out just how dominant and rough he could be. I'd only gotten a small taste of it the other night, and I'd liked it. I wanted more.

But as much as I was yearning for another taste of him I knew that this time away was good because I needed it to heal up from my fight with Tucker. Eric had been hesitant with me because of my injuries. They'd frustrated him, forced him to take it easy even when I was practically begging him for more pain to bring out the pleasure. I could feel him struggling to control himself, holding back when he wanted to give in and let it all go. But now I was healing quickly thanks to the med packs, the bruises fading faster and faster, so the next time would be easier for him to be able to do what he wanted to do with me. What I wanted him to do with me. He'd woken up a side of me I hadn't been aware I even had, and I was more than ready to explore it further.

These thoughts kept me company the entire time it took us to drive out to the Amity trucks, help split up the supplies, and then load up the Dauntless share into our trucks. We were gone for most of the morning, but to me it seemed like only minutes. Which was pretty good because the repetitive motion of passing sacks of food down from one person to the next would have driven me nuts otherwise. It was already hard enough on my damn ribs to turn and twist so much for so long. And if I hadn't just finished my first med pack of the day before we left, I was pretty sure I'd be trying to crawl back into bed for the rest of the afternoon because of the pain.

"Tucker is so freaking pissed at you," Darcy snickered, leaning close so I could hear her over the sound of a truck pulling away from the area as we kept passing sacks down our line of people.

"Gee, you think?"

I smirked and she giggled. Everyone could tell he was pissed at me. He'd done his best to stay as far away from me as possible all morning. His friends didn't talk to me, either, but they never really had before now so that wasn't anything new.

"You think he might come looking for a rematch?"

I handed Jake a sack at the same time he asked his question, shrugging.

"If he does, then he's a bigger idiot than we thought," Tara replied from the other side of Jake. "But none of his friends have mentioned anything about it, so I don't really think he will."

"They just piss and moan about him losing two spots and getting his ass kicked by a girl," Patrick chimed in on my left. "But really, I think they're kinda scared of Ronnie. Or at least have a very healthy respect for her."

"They should," Jake said. "She's one of the toughest girls in this year's initiation class. Even I know better than to get on her bad side."

He shot me a grin and I laughed. "That's right, Jake. 'Cause I'll fuck you up, too."

He laughed and brought his hands up in mock surrender. "Oh, no, please, Ronnie! Don't kick my ass! I'll be good, I swear!"

We all laughed at his fake plea, and he patted me on the back.

"Last bag!"

The call came from down the line about thirty seconds before the sack was passed down to us. Once we handed it off we broke our lines and started toward the trucks. Now they were loaded up and there was no way we'd all be able to ride in them. I already had a feeling of what was coming before Eric hopped up on the back railing and faced us.

"Two groups," he announced to the thirty or so of us that were standing below him. "Last one to get back to the compound get to unload everything by themselves."

People started looking at each other. The older members were grinning and breaking off into two separate teams while a few Initiates had looks on their faces as if they couldn't tell if he was actually serious. But no one said a word. They'd at least learned not to question him by now.

As soon as he jumped down from the truck and went around to hop in the passenger side of the cab, I took off alongside the four soldiers nearest me. I was not about to fall behind and risk having to unload the trucks. I heard shouting behind me, followed by the pounding of boots on the ground as the truck roared to life. Jake and Gabe quickly caught up and fell in step with me, with Darcy, Alex and Tara on my heels.

"Take the alley up ahead," one of the female soldiers yelled. "We'll cut through the warehouses and save three blocks!"

Our group followed in tight formation, darting down the alley and through the cluster of abandoned warehouses with dust and grime covering whichever windows hadn't been broken out. The pounding from our boots echoed off the brick walls and made it sound like a whole heard of us were running through the place. I don't know which way the others went or even how many of them there were in each group. I didn't keep track. I just hoped they'd went a longer route.

A few blocks later, I was running up front with the older Dauntless soldiers, a smile on my face as big as theirs. This was what we lived for. Being wild and free, running like a pack of wolves through the city streets, the path before us clearing as people scrambled to get out of our way. Feared and respected at the same time. We were the wild ones. The crazy ones. The fiercely brave.

I saw the glass building getting closer. Dauntless headquarters. The trucks were pulling in and backing up to giant steel doors on the side that were being rolled open. I didn't see the others yet. We were winning.

"I see them! To the left!"

Jake's shout from behind me had me turning my head. Shit. They were closing in fast, about as far away as we were.

"Hurry up!"

I pushed myself to run faster at the urging of the soldier on my right. He was a mere step or two faster than I was, and it sparked my competitive side to try to beat him. But my ribs were starting to burn from all the effort and it was slowing me down. I saw Eric climbing down from the truck on the left and set my focus on him instead, fighting the pain. I pictured his face in two ways. The first was the glint of pride in his eyes when our group got to the trucks first. The second, his lips turning down in a frown of disapproval that we'd lost. I wanted the first look. Badly.

I pushed myself harder than ever to get to those damn trucks, my eyes still locked on Eric as he walked around to the back to watch both groups closing in. He leaned against the truck and folded his arms across his chest, one leg over the other. He actually looked amused by the entire situation. All of the ones who'd gathered around the trucks looked amused, actually. This was a game to them. Just another crazy thing Dauntless did for no reason.

The guy on my right and I skidded to a stop in front of Eric just a second or two before the first soldier from the other group did. Eric smirked and held up his left hand, signalling our group had won the footrace. Groans of defeat were drowned out by cheers of victory. I screeched and spun around, jumping into Jake's open arms. Luckily, he missed my aching ribs when he caught me, holding me up by my waist as I yelled and high-fived about eight different people.

"Alright," Eric's voice boomed through the shouting. "Losers, get to work. Everyone else, go do whatever."

Jake set me down on the ground and slung his arm around my shoulders in a sideways hug. I hugged him back, still grinning and riding the high from our victory. Someone mentioned the Pit, so that's where most of us started heading for. Darcy quickly attached herself to my free side, looping her arm around my waist while we walked.

"So what are we gonna do?"

"Who cares," Jake chuckled. "We have free time. How often do we get that?"

"Almost never," I replied. "Let's just see what the Pit has to offer us today."

* * *

The Pit wasn't too busy, but there were still several dozen people around. Dauntless had a healthy population and the work shifts varied so that there was always someone out making rounds in the city and along The Wall as well as people back at headquarters. So the music in the Pit was always going, the various little clothing shops and stations for hair and tattoos always open. It was never hard to find something to occupy your time somewhere down there.

We passed by the tattoo portion, and I found myself stopping to look at the yellow plexi panels hung up around the pillars. I hadn't gotten a tattoo since I'd done my back piece during our second week of training. I had been counting my fears in my landscape and arranging them in my head to distribute them as evenly as possible on my arms, but I'd been waiting until the final testing to get them done. That way I had an accurate count of my current and conquered fears for the piece. But I felt the itch to go ahead and get something done anyway.

"Gonna get some more ink, Ronnie?"

I smiled at Jake as he came to stand beside me and look at the panels and gave him a little shrug. "Maybe. Depends on if I can figure out what, though."

"I'm not sure you can outdo the phoenix on your back," he commented. "Though we've never seen the entire thing yet."

I smirked. "Oh, that's right. You guys have only seen parts of it, huh?"

He nodded, his fingers tracing a mesh pattern. He himself only had one tattoo so far. A bull's eye surrounded by flames on his left bicep. It was to celebrate his victory in a shooting contest we'd had one day during practice and being named top shooter in the class. He had an amazing eye and quick reflexes. All of us agreed he'd be one of the soldiers called out to handle situations that needed skills like his.

"Well, one day I might show you the whole thing."

His eyebrow went up and he looked down at me, curiosity and little intrigue flashing in his honey-colored eyes. "Really?"

"Sure, why not? I'm proud of it. Sat with the guy for a whole hour while he drew it up for me. It's a one-of-a-kind piece."

"Now I really want to see it."

"See what?"

Darcy came up behind us, sipping from her water bottle. We both turned to allow her into our little huddle in front of the panels.

"My tattoo."

"Oh, man, I still can't get over how wicked it looks and I've been seeing it for weeks now," she commented. "We should find you some kind of backless top or something that shows it off."

"There's an idea," Jake replied thoughtfully. "That way all of Dauntless gets to bask in its glory."

I snorted a laugh and playfully swatted his arm. "Hush."

"So you guys gonna get some more ink while we're here?"

"Maybe," I answered. "But I don't really know what to get."

"Ah, the never-ending question," she said with a smirk. "What to permanently brand into our skin."

I snickered. "Maybe I'll just get something pierced. They look kinda empty over there."

"There's an idea," Jake agreed. "I'll go with you."

"Okay, then. Let's go."

* * *

We regrouped at lunch time, all sitting at the same table as usual to eat together. I was now sporting a solid silver hoop around the outside of the upper part of each ear and three silver studs in each lobe. Jake had gotten his ears pierced, too, and had made arrangements to start having them stretched later on so he could stick some small plugs in that he'd found and liked. They were silver cut-outs of Dauntless fire with black backings that would sit inside the lobes. I'd agreed with the woman doing the piercings that if he kept his dark blond hair short and in his adopted faux-hawk style that they'd look pretty awesome.

Jake had been integrated into the group more after our victory in War Games, and I'd quickly learned how much I actually liked him. He was funny and super smart, and always a help when it came to an issue one of us were having during training. Plus, with him sparring with Gabe a lot, the two had become really good friends and were always showing each other how to pick out weak and open spots on opponents and how to try to get around their strengths in order to avoid receiving as much damage as possible.

Patrick and Bryce had also floated in with us, but were a little closer to Tara simply because they were Dauntless-born like she was. But we'd accepted them anyway and would save them spots during meals so they could sit with us. The once-tiny little clique was now growing into a little gang of Inititates. All eight of us took up an entire table by ourselves at meals now. It was cozy. Sometimes a little too loud for comfort, but still nice to have a decently sized group of friends to joke around with.

Lunch seemed to fly by with all the chatter and laughing around me. Before knew it, we were getting up to drop our trays off at the dish station. Four was standing there, pulling a few people to the side as they came up. I looked over my shoulder at Jake and he shrugged.

"Ronnie," Four said when we'd gotten closer. "You and your friends come over here. The whole table."

We dropped off our trays and went to join the others who were grouped up off to the side. There were a couple from this year's initiation group, but the others weren't. And they looked like they already knew what was going on. Too bad they were keeping it a surprise for the rest of us.

"Okay, guys," Four announced after he'd grabbed a few more people and sent them over. "Today the new kids get to work kitchen duty. Some of you have done this before, and it's come up on your rotations. So you know how it works in there. The rest of you will be shown what needs to get done by the regular staff. Now get going."

We filed through a door on the side by the tray drop-off area, and were met by a couple of older Dauntless members who divided us up and told us what we'd be doing. I ended up with Jake and Bryce on dishes first. We worked out a system for dumping what little bit of food that was left on the trays, loading them into the racks to put through the machine to wash them, and then stack the clean racks onto a counter where someone else would take them and stack them for the next meal. It went pretty smoothly, and before we knew it, we'd run out of dishes and silverware to wash.

"I gotta go get another med pack," I told the boys as I untied my apron. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Hurry up," Jake replied, taking the apron from me to hang it up beside his own on a hook near the dish washer. "We gotta help with the prep for dinner, too."

I nodded and headed for the door, breaking into a jog when I went through it and got into the dining hall. The change in the air was nice. Cooler and dryer now that I was away from the dish washer, it felt good on my skin as I made my way down the hallways to the medical ward of the compound. No one I passed paid much attention to me, busy with their own duties or plans for the afternoon. A few nodded at me or watched me go by, but other than that, they left me alone.

"Hey, Doc," I chirped when I got to the open office door. "I'm ready for my refill."

"Hey, Ronnie," he greeted me with that friendly smile he regularly had on. "How are you feeling?"

I leaned against the frame as he walked over to a cabinet and opened a drawer. "Not too bad. A little sore from this morning, but no big deal."

"Just your ribs, or anything else bothering you?"

"Just the ribs. Everything else feels fine."

He nodded, crossing the room to hand me a fresh med pack. "That's good. I see you've removed the bandages on your face. It's healed up quite nicely."

I smiled. "Yeah. Bruises are almost gone and everything. Think it might scar?"

"Hmm. Maybe a small one. But it could fade out over time. Just have to wait and see."

I nodded and pushed off the door frame. "That's cool. Thanks for the pack. See you after dinner for a new one."

"Stay out of trouble."

I laughed, already out of the room and walking back down the hall. "Always!"


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:** _So sorry this took me so long to get up, guys. Insurgent left me all emotional and then work got crazy again. And to add to it all, I managed to get a tooth infection that destroyed me for three days. But I'm getting through it all and hopefully things continue to mellow out so I can keep pumping out more Eric and Ronnie moments for everyone._

_So for all my lovely fans as a special gift for your patience, there's way more Eric in this chapter! Hooray!_

_Also, I have to say that Insurgent was absolutely incredible. Jai was brilliant and gorgeous like always, and Eric was as intimidating and badass as ever. I have to say, though, that the amount of cheering in the theater when Eric died was appalling. There was certainly not enough Eric love in that room! (And yes, I cried a little. It's Eric, for crying out loud! Of course, I would have cried more had I not been forced to sit in the second row, but I gotta say being that close made seeing his butt on that giant screen such a delight. I swooned so hard it annoyed the living daylights out of my sister. XD) _

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

I decided to go ahead and drink my med pouch on my way back to the kitchen so I could be done and have my hands free for the prep work. I didn't see as many people this time. Maybe a couple here and there, but otherwise it was just me going down the hallways, the soft echoes of my footsteps the only sounds I heard most of the way.

Once again, I was caught off-guard when a pair of strong hands grabbed me and spun me around into the dimness of a niche in the wall. How Eric could always do that to me would probably remain a mystery for as long as I lived. But by now I was used to the abruptness that I didn't even gasp in surprise anymore. Instead, my arms immediately went around his neck, my legs using the absence of my feet on the floor to wrap themselves around his waist, my back tensing to anticipate the feel of being pressed against the wall just a second after I was picked up.

"I missed you," he murmured breathlessly against my lips between feverish kisses, his hands sliding down to grip my ass. "I hate sleeping without you with me."

"Me, too," I told him, the fingers of the hand that wasn't holding the med pouch going up the back of his head and into his hair. "It's driving me crazy."

He brought one of his large hands up my side, running it over my breast to tug down the edge of my tank top so he could trail kisses and licks across my shoulder and collar bone. I bit my lip to hold back the moan that tried to force itself from my throat. I grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled, rewarded for it with a growl and a bite on my neck. He liked when I did that. And I loved the chills I got when he bit me in return. The last time we were together had clued me in that Eric really enjoyed playing rough. It brought the passion to a whole new level, the fire he lit inside me exploding into a raging inferno.

"I need you, Ronnie. Right now."

I bit my lip again at the lust dripping from his already-husky baritone. He pushed his hips forward further, deeper into me, and I could feel how badly he wanted to take me right here in the hallway. I wanted to move against him, to feel that friction that made me see stars behind my eyes. But the rational part of my mind told me that we'd make too much noise. Someone would hear us. They'd hear me scream his name the moment I lost myself in the heat of his touch. They'd know who it was. They'd find us.

"We can't. Not here."

He groaned in my ear, sending shivers down my spine again. "Tonight, then. After dinner. Come to my place. I'll leave the door open for you. _Please_, Ronnie."

Hearing Eric beg for me to come to his apartment was enough to make me melt. Eric didn't beg for anything. Eric was tough and demanding. He never asked for things. He took them. But with me, he asked. He begged. He'd begged for me to accept him as mine and be his. And now he was begging me to come to him tonight.

_"You're the only one who gets this part of me."_

His words from our first night together flowed through my head again. I was the only one to get the part Eric hid away from the rest of Dauntless. The only one to see his tenderness and his vulnerability. To know the love he held deep inside. Me. I had that power.

"Alright," I murmured in his hear. "Everyone will probably be going to the Pit. I can sneak off when they're not looking. I'll knock twice so you know it's me."

He nodded against my neck before kissing where it met with my shoulder, letting my shirt go to slide his hand down to my hip. Slowly, he let me slip down to the floor, his muscles tensing as I slid down his front and creating friction across his pants. He exhaled hard by my ear. Another shiver raced up my spine, heat pooling higher in my belly knowing what me moving against him was doing to him. To both of us.

"Tonight," I whispered, kissing his clenched jaw before slipping out of his hold and hurrying down the hallway before someone happened to walk up on us. 

* * *

My body still felt the heat of Eric's all through the rest of the time I was back in the kitchen helping to prep for dinner tonight. Fresh thoughts of his naked chest rising and falling with panting breaths, his arms hardening around my body, his fingers pressing so hard into my skin they left bruises in their wake, hard and powerful thrusts shooting fire through every inch of my being all kept me company and working quickly. I wanted dinner to come around faster. For everyone to head off to the Pit like they did nearly every night. For me to be able to sneak off to Eric's apartment and satisfy my craving for him.

But it felt like the hours slowed down to days, and I was getting frustrated with it all. At least I had my friends around to keep me from losing my mind while we made bread and burger patties for the hungry members of Dauntless while others worked on the vegetables. They kept conversations going, and I eagerly joined them in hopes that they would help calm my fraying nerves. Confirming my suspicions, they made plans to party down in the Pit after dinner. Good. I could go there with them, then slip out when they weren't looking. They'd be busy with the music and the alcohol and wouldn't even notice.

"Okay, guys," an older woman said as she walked over to us. "That should do it for tonight. Wash up and you can head on out of here."

Finally. We were done. We filed over to the large sink to wash our hands and hang up our aprons, glad to be released from our duties. I was still wound up from earlier, not to mention how good the med packs always made me feel, and just hanging around the Pit or the dormitories wasn't going to do anything for me.

"I'm gonna run some laps in the training room," I told Gabe when he'd asked what I wanted to do. "Those med packs give me extra energy, so I need to burn some of it off."

"That actually sounds like a good idea," he replied, drying his hands off on the towel I handed him. "I'll go with you."

"Me, too," Jake chimed in. 

* * *

My mind stayed busy all through my run, then through my shower afterward and even going to dinner. All I could think about was Eric and getting to see him again. I tried my best to be social with my friends, to keep them from thinking something was off, and I think it worked fairly well for the most part. But if they suspected anything, they sure didn't say so. Not even when I slipped away from the crowd in the Pit later on.

Of course, I did need to go pick up my last med pouch of the day right about then, so that should have been an automatic assumption by anyone who'd seen me leave. Which I really did go and get from the medical ward of the compound before anything else. I was going to need the little boost of energy those things gave me, and it would also keep anyone from trying to look for me and then freaking out because I was nowhere to be found.

So, with my pouch in hand and the straw in my mouth, I quickly made my way down a couple different hallways, always checking to assure myself I wasn't being followed or anything. This added a few extra minutes to my walk to Eric's apartment, but better safe than to be talked about behind my back in the morning. I wasn't about to let myself become the subject of nasty gossip and dirty glares and even dirtier comments from people. No way. When Eric and I decided to become public, it would be on our terms.

Finally, I reached the plain white, solid metal door that marked Eric's apartment. I double checked the hallway again, finishing the last of my med pouch at last. I was hit with a bundle of nerves as my hand rose to knock on his door. My breath caught in my throught when I did it again. I don't know why I was suddenly so frazzled. Anticipation? Excitement? Maybe a little fear? I had no idea what I could possibly be afraid of. This was Eric. My Eric. I had no reason to fear him.

I quickly lost any notion of fear the instant the door flew open and I saw Eric standing in front of me. The only piece of clothing he had on was his pants, the same tight black ones he always wore, and was looking a little frazzled himself. His cool blue eyes looked wild in the glow from the lights of the hallway. His bare chest heaved with a hard breath the instant before he reached out and grabbed my shoulders to pull me inside. He spun me around, backing me against the wall by the door as he quickly shut it again and pressed his body against mine to capture my lips with his in a hard and fiery kiss all at the same time. I felt myself being lifted off my feet, his hands under my arms at the very top of my rib cage. I tossed my empty med pouch to the floor and wrapped my legs around his hips.

"I thought you'd never get here," he huffed, his mouth moving down my neck to my collar bone.

"I had to make sure no one saw me," I murmured back. My fingers threaded up into his hair, grabbing a handful. He pulled us away from the wall and crossed the room to the bed. I managed to kick off my sneakers on the way, letting them fall to the floor with hollow thuds. His fingers drug roughly down my back as we moved, and I loved the shivers that crawled over my skin in their wake.

"I missed you so much." His arms tightened around me, his lips finding mine again with his breathless confession. "I'm going crazy without you here."

"Trust me," I replied between kisses. "I hate it just as much as you do."

He crawled onto the bed, with me still attached to him, going all the way up to the pillows before letting any space come between us. He grabbed the bottom hem of my t-shirt and tugged it up my body until I took over and finished removing it. I tossed it to the floor while he unbuttoned my pants and yanked them and my underwear off my hips and down my legs. As he pulled them off along with my socks, I unhooked my bra and quickly got rid of it, too. He shed his pants and boxer-briefs before crawling back onto the bed, hovering over me on his knees while his eyes traveled over my naked body.

He leaned down just enough to brush his fingers over the ribs Tucker had cracked, the bruise that marked them now completely faded away, and frowned. A brief flash of anger washed over his face. He still wasn't over what had happened. A line had been crossed in Eric's eyes, regardless of the fact that no one knew of our relationship, and that was something he'd probably never let go of. Tucker was going to have to watch his back for a very long time.

Just as quickly as he'd stopped, Eric then moved again, descending down on me and covering my body with his. He wasted no time in setting my skin on fire with his lips and tongue, and I rewarded him with nails down his back and hard tugs of his hair. Of course, this encouraged him to become rougher, mixing pain with the pleasure. But I wanted it that way. I wanted Eric to lose control. I wanted his fingers to bruise my skin, marking me as his and his alone.

And it's what I got. Free from the burdens of having to be careful with a battered body, Eric unleashed the animal I knew he could be, moving me into the positions he wanted and at the pace he wanted. I never complained, though. I liked it. Twinges of pain blending with waves of pleasure, sharp and sweet at the same time. It was utterly thrilling to be brought to such mind-melting highs over and over again. It seemed to both go on forever and end far too soon.

Exhausted and breathless, I settled comfortably into Eric's arms as he lay behind me and held me to him, his sheets draped loosely over our bodies. He pressed his lips against my shoulder several times, his breath dancing across my skin. I finally wiggled myself around to face him and was delighted to see a loving softness on his face and in his eyes. My heart skipped beats knowing that I had done this to him. That I was the one to get to see it. It made me smile.

"What?"

His voice was soft in the now quiet room, lit only by the light of the moon. I bit my lip, still smiling and watching his face.

"Just... You. The way you are when we're alone. It's so different. You're softer. More relaxed."

"You do this to me." He shifted and pulled me closer so that my head was nestled under his chin. "You're the only one who's been able to make me feel this way. I never thought I would ever let someone get close to me like this. I didn't _want_ anyone to get close to me. And then you came along and fucked all that up."

I smirked and kissed one of his neck tattoos. "Should I be apologizing?"

He huffed, the sound sounding strangely close to a laugh. "It's not bad, really. Just... Not what I had planned for myself."

"You don't regret this..." I pulled back and lifted my head so I could look him in the eyes, biting my lip as insecurity began to set in again.. "Do you?"

He frowned and his eyebrows pulled together in a pained expression. His hand moved from my back to my face, covering my cheek as his thumb stroked my temple. His voice was firm, but there was a tinge of something else in it. Worry? Fear? Hurt? I wasn't really sure. I still had a lot to learn when it came to reading Eric since he so often separated himself from his emotions.

"No, Ronnie. _No._ Okay? I admit I didn't like the way I couldn't stop watching you at first. Hell, I fought it as hard as I could. I didn't want to let myself even _think_ that this could happen... But that morning on the mats, when I had you under me and you responded the way you did... It woke something up in me I didn't even realize existed. And when I followed you up to the roof and had you in my arms again... Then you kissed me, and... It was the nail in the coffin for me, Ronnie. I was yours in that very second. The only regret I have is the way I lashed out at you when you pulled away from me. It hurt to see that kind of fear in your eyes, knowing that I caused it."

I bit my lip as he bared his heart to me. I could feel the tears trying to push to the surface, but I fought them back as best I could. I saw him struggle to let the words out, felt his chest heaving with the effort to make his feelings known. Eric wasn't a man of many words, especially ones that involved emotion. I had been slightly aware of this before. But now it brought my understanding of it to a new level.

The mention of the day at target practice had me frowning and my eyes dropping from his. I had been so afraid of him then, so sure that he was just a split second away from doing something horrific. Like throwing me down the stairs after he'd drug me away from the rest of the group.

"I'm really sorry about that, Ronnie," he murmured, this thumb once again stroking my temple. "Every time I saw the bruises I left on your neck, I wanted to throw myself into the chasm. I never should have touched you like that."

"It's okay." I looked back up at him, leaning into his palm. "I understand now why you did it. So it's okay."

"But it's not. I shouldn't have let it happen. I was hurt and angry and I lost it. I could have hurt you worse than that. I came way too close to it. That's why I told you to leave. Because if I hadn't... I don't even want to think about what I could have done to you. I never, ever want to see you be that scared of me again."

"I don't think you'll have to worry about that anymore," I told him, leaning in to press my lips against his. "I know you now, Eric. And I'm not afraid of you."

"Good."

I felt his body relax then, and I settled back into his arms, my head against his chest. The arm he had under my head moved to wrap around my shoulders while his other hand slid down from my face to my back, lightly trailing up and down my spine. Even our legs intertwined together in a cozy little bundle of warmth and closeness. I felt complete laying there like that. So much so that I never wanted to move.

"Stay with me again tonight."

His voice was once again soft and breathy, barely above a whisper in the quiet that surrounded us.

"Of course," I told him, planting a kiss on his collar bone. "No where else I'd rather be."


	26. Chapter 26

_**A/N:** To the reviewer who asked about the med packs, YOU GOT IT RIGHT! I imagined them to be kinda like Capri Sun pouches, only a bit bigger. It seemed like that would be something they'd have to help people heal a bit faster from wounds and stuff so they can keep their soldiers in good condition since they're so important to the society._

_Also, I'm so happy you guys loved how open Eric got with Ronnie about his feelings since we all know he's not really the kind of guy to do things like that. It just makes me love him even more when he can allow himself to be so vulnerable like that when it's just so not in his nature. :D_

_Oh, and it has occurred to me that I never did a Visitation Day, and I'm pretty sure by now that they would have done it, but whatever. I'm gonna throw one of those in for shits and giggles. I hope no one minds!_

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

I sat in the sim chair, my hands clenched into tight fists to try to stop them from shaking. I could feel my heart slamming into my sternum with each breath I held to disrupt the panicked panting. But I couldn't close my eyes. Every time I tried to do so in order to help myself calm down, all I saw was blood and Eric's eyes dulling as the life drained from them.

"Here. Drink this."

Four handed me the bottle of water I'd brought in with me and I gulped a mouthful from it. He sighed and crossed his arms, watching me. It didn't take much to know what was going on behind those dark eyes. I fixed my gaze on my lap, fiddling with the cap on my bottle.

"Don't."

"I didn't say anything."

"You don't have to, Four. I know what you're thinking."

He shifted his weight. "Really?"

"You don't like Eric. I know you don't. But he's not completely what you think he is. He does have feelings, you know."

He didn't say anything for a minute. I could feel his gaze on me, studying me like he tended to study everyone.

"It's true," he finally said, moving to remove the electrode from my temple. "I don't like him. But I do have at least a little respect for him. His job isn't easy. And he takes it very seriously. He always will. That's how he is."

I took another drink from my bottle as he moved back to the computer screens.

"And I know he has feelings, Ronnie. I've been watching him just like I watch everyone else. I've seen him changing since you came to us. The way he looks at you... It's not how he looks at the other girls. To him, you're different."

I looked at him now. "Still think it's a bad idea for me to be with him?"

He sighed. "I still don't know for sure, but... Maybe not. Maybe... Maybe you're the thing he needs to balance him out. Only time can tell on that one."

It was my turn to sigh. Four had seen a glimpse of how Eric looked at me when we were together, and apparently he'd seen how he looked at me when we were in public. So surely he knew there was something there between us. And given the fact he'd known Eric for two full years before I transferred into Dauntless, it could only show him more that Eric was different now than he used to be.

"I think... I think I love him, Four."

Four laid his hand on my shoulder, frowning slightly. "To be honest with you, Ronnie... I think he loves you, too. But he won't tell you yet. That's not his way. Eric and emotions don't really mix well. But... If you stay with him and keep opening him up, I really do think that you two have a shot."

I blinked, my brow furrowing. "Really?"

He nodded. "It's happened before to others. Love is a strange thing. It changes people. Even people like Eric. So, yeah. I think if what is going on between you two is real, then you could be in this for life."

I smiled slightly, a wash of warmth taking over the painful edge of the echoes of my fear landscape. "Thanks, Four."

He nodded and turned back to his work, a silent acknowledgement of my dismissal for the day. I slid myself off the chair and left the room to go see Doc for my check-up.

* * *

"Everything is healing up perfectly, Ronnie. Very good job."

I smirked, crossing my ankles as the doc looked over my newest scans. "Med packs help a lot. I can't take all the credit, Doc."

He nodded. "That's true. Well, the strain in your shoulder is gone and the cracks in the ribs are well on their way to being fully healed. And your face is even showing new skin growth around the cut so it looks like it may not even scar at all."

"Huh. And here I was getting used to the idea of having a cool scar to go along with the story of beating the shit out of Tucker."

The doc chuckled. "Maybe next time, huh?"

I smirked again. "Hmm. Maybe. I hear he's probably going to want a rematch after he gets better."

"Well, that we won't know for another week or so. You broke three ribs and cracked two others pretty good. He's healing quickly, but he still needs to be careful about his injuries. By the way, since I haven't gotten to ask... How did you manage to do that when he's twice your size?"

I grinned proudly. "Elbow jabs and a good kick. Apparently I have elbows of steel and can kick as hard as an Amity horse."

Doc laughed whole-heartily at that one. He even reached over and slapped me on the back. "You sure are Dauntless, Ronnie. That's unmistakable."

Comments like that always made me feel so proud. To show people that I truly belonged here was a good thing and kept me going. Made me work harder. Especially now that I had a shot in the top five of the rankings board. Everyone knew the top five got the best jobs in Dauntless. Leadership opportunities instead of standard soldier work. They got their own apartments. Tons of respect. And I wanted that.

"So I'm going to clear you for full duty, but try not to push yourself too hard. We'll keep you on two packs a day just for the little boost, but you'll get the smaller ones. Morning and afternoon should work fine so you can sleep at night. And I'm sure you'll be fully operational in less than a week."

"Sounds great to me, Doc."

* * *

"So I hear they're gonna have Visitation Day tomorrow."

My head popped up from my plate at Alex's relaxed announcement at lunch. My heart thumped heavily in my chest at the thought of getting to see my parents again. I really did miss them. Eighteen years of seeing them every day and then suddenly not being with them for nine weeks wasn't easy.

"Yeah," Tara commented. "You guys excited."

"I don't know if my parents will come," Gabe answered a little sadly. "You know how Amity is when it comes to Dauntless."

"Don't forget the fact that Amity is practically enemies with Candor," Darcy told him. "And you've got two of them for BFF's."

I smirked. "I wouldn't say enemies, Darce. It's just that Candor rejects lying and Amity feels it's appropriate to tell little ones if it spares harsh feelings. It's just a clashing of ideals kind of thing."

"She's right," Gabe confirmed with a nod. "Still. I hope they do come. I want them to see how much I've changed and be proud of me."

"They should be proud of you no matter what," I told him, leaning my shoulder into his arm. "You followed your heart and knew where you really belonged. My parents have always been proud of me for doing just that."

"My parents thought we were insane," Alex commented with a snicker. "Said they couldn't understand why we'd want to run around like savages through the streets."

Tara laughed and I grinned. "We are savages, Alex. We've been running with the Dauntless kids since we were like, ten. If we could have transferred back then we would have."

"Damn right," he agreed, a huge grin on his face as he reached across for a high five. "You and me have been Dauntless forever."

"I still can't believe you guys knew so soon you wanted to be with us," Tara said with a smile. "It's really cool. Most people don't know until way later."

"Yeah. Alex and I started filtering out as much white as possible from our wardrobes by the time we were twelve. And I gave up skirts almost completely. Ended up only wearing them to important occasions."

"Even in the summer?" Gabe raised an eyebrow, and I nodded.

"Told you. Dauntless was my choice for a long time. I never considered any other option."

He smirked and we went back to devouring our meals between more unimportant chatter.

* * *

I was all nerves the next morning while I picked out my outfit for Visitation Day. After going through my entire trunk, I finally settled on a tight black tank top with a sheer black long-sleeved shirt to go over it, and paired it with the same pants I'd worn for War Games and my combat boots. Fluffing my curls in the mirror, I looked every bit Dauntless. Brave, stylish, and even a little sexy. My clothes showed off my transformed figure perfectly, and I knew my parents would be thrilled to see me looking so fit and strong.

As we made our way down to the Pit, I was happy to see that Gabe's parents had indeed come to see him. They were fawning all over him and hugging him like crazy. Even he couldn't stop smiling at them. He was so excited to tell them about everything he'd been doing and introduce him to all of his friends, even catching me before I passed by so I could meet them, too. He gracefully 'forgot' to mention I had transferred from Candor, which I didn't even mind in the least. My time in Dauntless had accustomed me to little white lies and leaving out bits of information so much so that I could brush it off easily.

As I left the Amity couple to sit with their son, I scanned the crowd for the tell-tale colors of black and white, trying to find my parents. I spotted Alex with his, and they waved and smiled at me as I approached them. They, too, were looking very proud of how well Alex was doing. And finding out about my own rise in the ranks seemed to impress them as well.

"Veronica!"

I gasped when I heard my birth name being shouted. That was my mother's voice. I twisted myself around, eyes darting from head to head until I spotted dark brown curls and a slender arm clad in white waving further into the crowd.

"Mom! Dad!"

I slipped between people, rushing straight into my mother's open arms. The instant they circled around me I inhaled her perfume and was thrown right back to being a kid again. My mother had smelled of flowers and vanilla all my life. It was a smell I'd always loved and associated with her, and one I suddenly realized I'd missed terribly.

"My word, Veronica," my mother beamed, finally pulling away after several long moments. "Look at you! You've changed so much! You're so strong and so beautiful!"

My father moved from behind her to wrap me in his own hug. Sandalwood and leather mixed with the smell of old books washed over me, and I nearly started crying.

"Oh, my baby girl," he crooned in my ear. "My sweet little princess is all grown up. Just look at her, Annette."

"I know, David. I know. She's become quite the young woman."

All three of us were on the verge of tears now. But somehow we held it together and made our way to a table so we could sit down and talk.

"Alex says you're doing phenomenally in your rankings," my mom said as she settled down next to me, giving me another hug. "You're in sixth place out of twenty-two? That's incredible."

I nodded. "It is. I've even impressed Max, our main leader. And Eric, one of my trainers, says that I could have a leadership spot if I come out in the top five. I'm not sure what kind because there are different ones, but the best jobs always go to the top five in the class."

My father laid his hand on my arm. "We are so proud of you, Veronica. So very proud. You always knew this was the Faction you needed to be in, and you've proved it to everyone."

"I know we're not really supposed to," Mom said. "But we just can't help but talking about you at home. Telling everyone how happy we are that our daughter is one of the people who protect all of us. It's a big responsibility, being in Dauntless. But we know you can handle it."

"Thanks, Mom. Dad. Really. It means so much to hear you say that."

We talked about my training, my injuries and my progress, how I was getting really good with a rifle and how I could throw two knives at once now and have both of them hit the heart if I wanted them to. I told them about how I'd helped win War Games, and how proud people were of me for that and how my circle of friends had grown. I even showed them my tattoo, which was a little difficult to do considering my choice of outfit, but somehow I managed without giving the entire Pit a free show of my boobs. Thankfully, the only thing we didn't seem to talk about was boys, which was really good because I didn't think I could lie to my parents about Eric. Hiding our relationship from the rest of Dauntless was one thing, but I've never in my life been able to lie to my mom and dad.

Then I took them around to meet all my friends and their families. I was thrilled to see them greet them all so warmly, as if they'd known them all their lives, too. They even gave Gabe's parents the traditional Amity hug for a greeting. My mom and Dad had always been friendly to others regardless of Faction, but even that surprised me. Gabe just laughed and slung his arm around my shoulders, referring to me as his sister as we told them about how we helped each other in sparring matches.

Sadly, though, the time allowance for visitation had to come to an end. It made me sad to hug my parents one last time, but knowing how proud they were of me was comforting. It made me happy. Made it a little easier to wave goodbye to them from atop of the block of marble my friends and I tended to claim as our own when we came to watch the little sparring matches down here in the Pit. I'd see them around, no doubt about that. I'd make sure to do some runs through Candor just to catch a look of them from time to time. After all, they would forever be my parents, different Faction or not.


	27. Chapter 27

_**A/N:** Okay. So, I was asked by a reviewer who I'd chosen for Ronnie's FC, and honestly, I hadn't even considered one until then. But after thinking long and hard about it while simultaneously working on my other fanfic projects, I finally came up with one and added a pic of her to the tumblr page. So now we more or less have a face to go with Ronnie's description! I have yet to find one with curly hair, but I did find one with red streaks and that was the one that just screamed "Ronnie" to me. So you guys can go check it out and let me know if she fits as well for you as she does for me. :D  
_

_Also, sorry for the delay of the chapter. I went and watched Insurgent again on Saturday, this time with my mom, and got all messed up over it again. Oops. XD_

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

The afternoon air felt good on my skin as I sat on the ledge of the roof that led to the back entrance to Dauntless, leaning against the one of brick structures that decorated the corners of the building with my feet pulled up so that my knees were in front of my chest. A warm breeze ruffled my hair, pushing it across my back and over to one side. The ledge was wide enough so that I never felt like I was about to fall off, and having the breeze blowing in the direction of the rooftop instead of the street below helped me to feel even more secure about my little perching place. It was quiet up here, letting me stare out at the tops of the buildings between us and the city center in peace.

Unlike the last time I'd been up here, when I was drunk off my ass, I actually heard the door to the stairwell open and close again. I heard the scrape of boots across the loose rocks. I still didn't look, however. I already knew who those boots belonged to. Only one person in the whole Faction ever followed me pretty much wherever I went. Besides, I was getting pretty good at making an unseen getaway from the crowds, so no one else would have been aware that I had left.

"What are you doing up here all alone?"

I sighed, unwrapping my arms from my knees and placing them on either side of the ledge. "Just... Watching."

The boot-scraping noises stopped beside me. "Watching... What, exactly?"

"Nothing," I answered, still looking out at the buildings. My eyes rested on the unmistakable tower of Erudite for a moment. "And everything."

I felt the back of his index finger brush against my cheek. "Missing them, huh?"

Finally turning my head to look at him, I sighed again and let my legs fall over the sides of the ledge, moving my hands behind my hips and leaning back further against the corner decoration. He looked concerned, something that I wasn't really expecting considering the fact he was speaking about my parents.

"A little," I answered, frowning slightly. "I know, 'Faction Before Blood' and all that, but... They're still my parents, Eric. I've been here nine weeks and I know that's plenty of time to adjust to not having them around, but today was a little harder than I'd thought it would be."

He sat down in front of me, laying his hand on my thigh. "Explain."

"If they were upset with me for defecting and had yelled at me or something, or didn't even come at all, it would be different. But they're not mad at all. Eric, they're proud of me. They brag about me being a protector of the city. That right there... That bothers me and it pisses me off because I should be happy that they're proud of me. But what's worse is that I am happy I make them proud. And I feel like that's wrong because I'm not supposed to see them as my family anymore. Dauntless is my family. You are my family. But so are they. And it just... It makes me a mess inside to think about it."

Eric frowned and gently squeezed my thigh. "I can't really help you there, Ronnie. It was easy for me to cut myself off from my family. We weren't close. So I didn't have the problem you do."

My frown deepened and I leaned forward, my forehead coming to rest on his shoulder.

"But I can tell you that you don't need to feel bad about still caring about them. They protected you for eighteen years. And now, you get to protect them. Try to see if thinking like that helps."

"I'll try," I said, nodding against his shoulder. Then I smirked and looked up at him. "You know, if you ever want to drop the macho asshole act, you could being a counselor or something. You're not half bad at giving advice."

He narrowed his eyes in mock anger. "You hush or I'll toss you off this ledge."

I sat back, one hand coming up to my chest dramatically. "And kill the _only_ girl in Dauntless who might _actually_ love your grumpy ass? That's just plain awful!"

I didn't realize I'd said the L-word until he blinked and looked at me funny. My hand immediately dropped to my leg and I looked down at the wall of the building across the train tracks, biting my lip. I didn't know what to do next. I hadn't meant to say it. Especially not in a joking manner. Love was a serious thing. And with me being unsure of my feelings for Eric and his for me, it wasn't something to joke about at all.

Eric was moving before I could even collect myself enough to stammer out nonsensical fractions of sentences, suddenly standing up and pulling me off the ledge to stand in front of him. His hands came up to cover each side of my face as he forced me to look up at him. I recognized the look in his eyes. The one he had when we were together. The one he had in my fear landscape before he ended up dying. He stared down at me for several tense moments. I was so sure he was about to tell me that he actually loved me because it was all over his face.

But in true Eric style, he said nothing. His lips came crashing down on mine and my heart felt like it was about to explode. As his tongue slipped passed my lips, I grabbed for his ribcage, arching my back to press my body against his. One hand moved from my face to the small of my back, holding me to him. I moaned softly into his mouth, and suddenly both his hands moved and I was being picked up. My legs immediately went around his hips and my arms around his neck like they always did when he did that.

But instead of moving anywhere, I felt the sensation of being lowered, and we were suddenly in a very similar position as the last time we were on the rooftop together. I ground myself against him, spurred on by the passion in his kiss and the hardness in his pants. He groaned and tightened his hold around me. Urgency and overwhelming need flooded through me. I had to have him as soon as possible.

"Eric," I panted the instant his lips moved to my neck. "We need to get back to your place. Now."

He groaned again, his hands leaving my back to reach between us and unbutton my pants. "Too far. Way too far."

"Then where?"

A growl this time as he pushed me back for better access. "Here."

I grabbed his hands. "Are you crazy? These rocks will rip us to shreds."

He scowled for a second before practically ripping off his jacket and spreading it out just behind himself. "Ride me. It's the only way. Ronnie, I can't wait. I need you now."

There was a tone of desperation threaded in his voice, and it turned me on to hear it. I nodded and unhooked my legs from around him to help him get my pants and underwear down to my ankles so he could open his own and scoot back onto his jacket to protect my knees from the sharp rocks. He maneuvered me into position then, slowly bringing me down onto him with a hard, throaty exhale.

I couldn't help it. I moaned loudly and clenched his shirt in my fists. My head dropped back, my breath hitching in my throat. This was different. We hadn't tried it this way before. Eric had always been the one on top. The one in charge. I wasn't sure if he'd relenquish that type of control to have me on top instead. But I guess his desire to have me overcame his need to be dominant.

I heard him curse through his teeth with an inhale and then groan with his exhale. His fingertips dug into my hips as he moved me once, and he cursed again. My head came forward, falling onto his shoulder. He moved me again, and I whimpered into his neck. He didn't stop, moving my hips at the pace and depth he wanted. I didn't care. All that mattered was feeling him underneath and inside me, hearing him pant and groan and swear in my ear, bringing us closer and closer to the earth-shattering highs of bliss.

I buried my face in his shoulder when the stars burst behind my eyes, biting down hard to muffle my scream. His whole body went rigid mere seconds later, and I felt his nails dig into my skin. We didn't move for several moments, breathing too hard to do anything other than just sit there. I wasn't even sure at that point that I would have the strength to move at all. I felt like my very bones had melted.

"Fuck..."

His voice was slightly hoarse, his panting making it sound breathy as well. I felt his lips on my neck several times, slowly moving up to my face. I turned my head and they fell on my own lips in a tender yet searing kiss. He was holding the back of my head with one hand, the other loosely palming my hip.

"Yeah..."

I felt him smile against my lips with my agreement. The hand on my hip slid around to caress my lower back.

"Eric... About what I said..."

"Shhhhh." He kissed me again to stop me from saying anything more. "I know."

I opened my eyes and pulled my head back to look at him. He had that look in his eyes again. And I realized then that that look was his silent confession, to let me know how he felt without actually telling me. Because he just couldn't say it out loud. At least not yet. And with that realization came another.

I was in love. Truly, madly, hopelessly in love. With Eric.

My breath came out in a huff, and I had to fight the urge to start crying. I bit my lip, my eyes still gazing deep into his. I couldn't speak the words, though. I didn't know why. But I just couldn't. I wondered if this was what it was like for Eric. To feel something so deeply but completely unable to say it out loud to the one who needed to hear it.

A tear broke free from my control and rolled down my cheek. His hand moved from my back to gently wipe it away. His eyebrows pulled together slightly in concern. A small laugh bubbled up from my chest, making him look at me again. His face relaxed then. He must have seen the same look in my eyes as I saw in his because the corners of his mouth turned up into a light smile. I nodded. He smiled a little more and brought my face down to give me the sweetest kiss he'd ever given me before. One so full of love I thought my heart would burst. 

* * *

I laid in bed that night, staring into the darkness that blocked out the ceiling as my mind refused to turn off. I was in love with Eric. And he loved me, too. Eric, the man that so many people were afraid of because he was so tough and demanding and ruthless, was in love with me. And it didn't even matter that he hadn't said it out loud to me. The truth of it was in his eyes when he looked at me. It was in his touch and his kiss. Everything he did when we were together told me that he loved me.

I sighed, shifting on my bunk. I couldn't get comfortable. Not when he wasn't laying beside me. It was beyond aggravating not being able to curl into him and feel his warmth wrap around me. To not have one arm under my neck and the other draped over my ribs while he slept. To not have his breath fluttering across my skin. To not hear his cute little snores.

I huffed and flung my blanket off. This wasn't going to work. There was no way I would be able to get to sleep in here while he was so far away. I grabbed my socks off my trunk and slipped them on my feet. I heard Darcy shift in her sleep in the bunk next to mine, making me freeze for a second. But she settled into her new position and didn't move again. I grabbed my sneakers and tiptoed over to the stairs, looking around the room to make sure everyone else was sleeping before sneaking away.

Thankfully, the halls were pretty empty. It wasn't too late, but definitely still the middle of the night. But that didn't exactly matter in Dauntless. People were always up and around, no matter what time it was. This place never seemed to sleep. But I wanted to sleep. I needed to sleep. I was in my last week of Initiation, being prepared for my final test before becoming an official Dauntless soldier. This was the most important week of them all.

I couldn't tell if the walk to Eric's apartment was a long or a short one. All I cared about was getting there and being wrapped up in his arms. My heart was pounding by the time I got to his door and raised my hand to knock on it. At first he didn't answer. My mind raced and I wondered if I shouldn't have come. He was probably asleep, and waking him up in the middle of the night was probably one of the worst things to do regardless of reason.

But then I heard the lock turn and the door slowly opened. And when I looked up to his face, I just knew that he hadn't really been asleep after all. He looked like he'd been tossing and turning just as much as I had. And extremely annoyed before recognition took over. Whatever snarl he had been about to unleash about it being the middle of the night fell away, replaced by a look of surprise.

"Ronnie?"

"I couldn't sleep," I told him quietly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"Get in here."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me inside, closing the door as he wrapped his arms around me. My face tilted up and his lips found mine easily. I heard him inhale sharply though his nose, then let it out slowly, as if he'd finally found the relief he'd been waiting for. Then he did something he never had before. Instead of fueling the kiss and getting both of us worked up to a point of frenzy, he simply held me. We stood there for a good minute or two, his arms around me with my head on his chest and his cheek against my hair, just holding each other.

I heard a rumbling through his chest, a hum of sorts. He slowly lessened his hold on me and stepped away, taking my hand and leading me over to the bed. I watched him flop down and roll over so he could look at me. I smirked and slipped off my sneakers before crawling in with him, immediately curling myself into his waiting arms. I sighed happily when I felt his lips on my shoulder. Sleep came quickly and easily then, the stress from being away from Eric now completely gone. 

* * *

I'd made sure to get up a little earlier than usual so I could use the excuse of wanting to practice a bit before breakfast without feeling like I was completely lying to my friends when they asked where I was because they'd woken up and found my bunk empty. They'd accepted it easily, since I did happen to be a little sweaty and coming from the training floor when I met up with them in the hallway. Plus, I'd run into Patrick and Bryce out on the floor and we'd done a little weight training together. Well, more like they used the bench press while I made comments from the free weights and did a lot of snickering until they'd goaded me into getting on the bench myself so they could have a turn messing with me and the weight on the bar.

And it was where we'd returned after breakfast as well. Four was going to be doing sim training throughout the day as per the norm lately, so those of us not in the group currently in the sim room were gathered on the training floor exercising. It was a little distracting to have Eric around, but I fought the urge to watch him like some love-struck teenager. I'd get to do plenty of that later on, after we'd become public.

"Uh-oh," I heard Tara murmur from beside me as we did wall planks, holding weights out in front as we pretended to sit in chairs. "Here comes trouble."

I looked in the direction she was, quickly spotting the source of her concern. Tucker and his two friends, Joss and Ryan, were stalking over to us like they were on a mission. I sighed and stood up, fully expecting a fight. Apparently Jake and Gabe had the same idea, because they left the bench press and were next to us in a flash. I put my hand out to signal them to not do anything just yet.

"I want a rematch," Tucker spat when he'd gotten a few feet away and they'd stopped their advance on me.

"What?" Jake took another step closer to me, scowling at Tucker.

"Fuck off, Know-It-All. I'm talking to the Smart Mouth."

Jake growled and tried to come forward, but Gabe grabbed his arm to stop him. I held up my hand again, higher this time. Then I turned my attention back to Tucker. I caught Eric looking in our direction behind him.

"Tucker, you're in no shape to fight me right now. I broke three of your ribs. There is no way you're healed up enough yet."

"I don't fucking care," he snarled. "I want a rematch. I'm not fucking finishing in thirteenth place. I'm not standing around watching the _fucking Factionless for the rest of my fucking life!_"

Eric had turned around then. I could see him over Tucker's shoulder. And he didn't look very happy.

"Tucker, I'm not going to fight you if you're still injured. I could make it worse, and then you'd be running the risk of not even being in Dauntless."

"_I don't fucking care!_"

Ryan put his hand on Tucker's shoulder. "Dude, calm down. Breathe."

Tucker looked like he was about to punch his own friend in the face. The guy had a serious problem dealing with losing to a girl. But I wasn't going to take him on while he was still messed up from our last fight. Having that kind of advantage over him just felt wrong. Besides, I beat him last time without an advantage.

"Okay, Tucker." I watched several heads turn to look at me at the same time. "I'll give you a rematch. _But_ I'll only do it _after_ you've been cleared for it by Doc."

The satisfied smirk he'd had on his face when I agreed to a the fight twisted into a furious scowl. "That's not for another week! That's not fair!"

I shrugged. "Then I guess you should talk to him about doing something about that. Because those are my terms. You want a fight, you have to be able to fight properly."

Tucker's mouth opened and closed several times. Finally, he let out a frustrated bellow and stormed off. Ryan and Joss looked at us for a moment before turning to follow him. I sighed pressed my fingers to my forehead.

"Someone needs to mellow out on a serious level," Darcy commented.

"I wasn't going to say anything," Tara started, dropping her weight to the floor. "But I might as well anyway. The only reason he's so pissed is because he wanted you."

I blinked and turned around. "He _what_?"

"Yeah. He used to tell his friends that he was going to bang you before the end of Initiation."

I shuddered. Darcy made a few gagging noises. Jake and Gabe looked like they were about to go kick Tucker's ass into next month.

"And he thought being an asshole to me and making perverted comments was supposed to make me swoon over him?" I shook my head, my hand going to my churning stomach. "I think I might actually be sick. I'm not even kidding. I feel like puking."

"Oh, please don't do that," Darcy pleaded, dropping her weight to the floor and coming to my side. "Come on. Let's go outside for a second. Get a little air."

"I can make it on my own. You guys stay here. Don't need Eric ripping all of us a new one."

"You sure?" Jake asked. "You really don't look so good."

I nodded. "I'll be fine. Really. I'll just get a little air, listen to Eric screech at me, and then come back in. Now go back to work before we're all in trouble."

They nodded, still looking concerned, but knowing that I was right. Eric didn't give a damn about the reason for the lack of movement. He yelled at everyone equally. And people tended to avoid being yelled at as much as possible around him. So they went back to their activites and I made my way across the room to the door, trying really hard not to throw up as Tara's words kept repeating in my head.

As soon as the door shut behind me, I was bent over and bracing myself against the wall. I seriously wanted to throw up. To know that Tucker had been planning to get in my pants for weeks after he'd been such a dick to me was just too disturbing. But it did put the night of War Games into perspective. That was why he was acting the way he was. Why he was suddenly trying to put the moves on me. And he'd actually expected it to work? That I would go off with him just like that? He was mental.

I heard the door open and close again. Heard Eric's boots crunch on the ground as he walked over to me. But he didn't yell like he would have if I'd been someone else. Instead, I felt his hand rub up and down my back. I couldn't take it anymore. My stomach gave a hard lurch, and my breakfast came back up. I felt my ponytail being pulled away from my neck and Eric gently patting my back as I continued to empty my stomach onto the ground.

A minute or so later, I coughed and spit. My mouth felt absolutely disgusting. A water bottle appeared in front of my face, and I removed one hand from the wall to take it and use it to wash my mouth out. I groaned, pushing myself away from the wall and the mess I'd left.

"You okay?"

I shook my head, swishing another mouthful of water around and spitting it out off to the side. "Not after what I just found out, no."

He was frowning when I looked over at him. "Care to elaborate?"

"Tucker," I answered flatly. "Apparently the sick little shitface thought he was going to fuck me."

"I gathered that from the way he was acting in the Pit and during your sparring match."

I shook my head again. "No, that's not it. According to Tara, he'd been telling his friends for a while that he was going to do it. War Games just set it all in motion."

Now Eric looked like he was about to beat the shit out of Tucker. He glared at the door to the building, his hands clenching into tight fists. I reached out and gently grabbed one of them. He opened his hand, intertwining my fingers in his and gripping them firmly. He looked back at me, anger and posessiveness all over his face.

"He wants a rematch now," I told him softly, earning a blink and raised eyebrow. "I told him yes."

"What?"

"When he's cleared for it by Doc."

"You know what he's going to do to you when he gets his chance. He's going to try to kill you."

I nodded. "I know. But he won't. Because I'm going to win again."

"Ronnie."

He turned back to me, his free hand coming up to touch my face. His thumb rubbed across my cheek and I leaned into his palm, closing my eyes. I heard the purring sound from the night before coming from him, and I smiled. When I opened my eyes again, I was greeted with the look that told me how much he loved me. It made me smile again. I stepped forward and pushed up on my toes to press my lips to his.

"I'll be fine, Eric. He fights dirty, but so do I. I can take him."

"Can't I just kill him and get this whole thing over with?"

I snickered. "No. Besides, we both know where he's going to be assigned. Watching the Factionless or guarding The Wall."

"If I have anything to say about it, he's going to die on that damn wall."

"Ignore him, Eric. He's not important." I took a deep breath and huffed it out. "We need to get back in before something happens. You ready to yell at me?"

He raised his unpierced eyebrow before smirking and nodding. I stepped by him, and he swatted my ass as I did so. I smirked and turned my head to mouth 'stop' at him. He grinned and shook his head. When we got to the door, I had to take a couple of deep breaths and fix a scowl on my face before flinging it open and stomping inside. Eric never faltered, immediately jumping back into the role of the asshole and yelling loud enough for people to hear and think he'd been chewing me out the whole time.

"And if I catch you pulling this shit again, I'll have you doing drills until you pass out!"


	28. Chapter 28

_**A/N:** I am so sorry for the lack of update, guys! I got so wrapped up in figuring out Ronnie's fears that I suffered a little bit of a writer's block with both of my fics I've got going on right now. But, luckily, I got a little inspiration from a review, and after mulling it over for a while, it seems I've been run over by the Inspiration Truck! So, have this as an apology for being gone for so long! (Also, I would like to apologize in advance to those who can't leave a new review on the chapter because I've replaced the previous content with all of this. You're more than welcome to flood my PM with reviews or leave one on the first chapter or something so your voice can be heard again!)  
_

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

"Get the extraction kit! Hurry!"

"He's waking up again!"

"Where's Ronnie?!"

"Hold him down! I can't have him fighting us right now!"

"Eric! Eric, you have to get still! We're trying to help you!"

"Get your fucking hands off me!"

"Fucking tranq him! Now!"

"He's losing a lot of blood! We need a transfusion!"

"He's fighting the sedatives!"

"Give him more! I need that shrapnel out before it rips him to shreds!"

"Tell me where she is!"

"Eric, you need to calm down and let us work, dammit!"

"Son of a bitch! Someone go find that fucking girl and find out what the fuck happened to him!"

* * *

I barely heard the voices screeching from inside the emergency wing of the medical ward. Barely heard the crashing of metal against the tiled floor. All I could think about was the look of shock and pain on Eric's face and the way he fell to the ground over and over as I had to practically drag him down two blocks of darkened street before a patrol guard saw us. Part of me was desperate to believe this was all a simulation. That I was back in my fear landscape. That I wasn't covered in blood, slumped down on the floor against the wall and staring across the hallway like some kind of robot while people ran frantically in and out of the room as the man I loved fought for his life on the operating table.

But it was happening. This was real. Eric was hurt. And his instinct to keep fighting anyone who came near him was only making things worse. If I could just get in there. I could calm him down again. I could get him still so they could help him. But my body refused to move from where I was. I mentally screamed at it to push up from the floor. To go inside the room with the doctors. To go to his side. Touch him. Let him know I was there and I was okay and that he needed to be still for them.

But I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't force myself to move at all.

"Ronnie."

I heard Four's voice break through the chaos I could hear from behind the closed doors. Vaguely saw him come to kneel on his haunches in front of me. Felt him reach out with one hand and touch my cheek. His touch was what broke me out of my trance and made me blink to bring him into focus.

"Ronnie, you need to tell me what happened."

"I... We..." I choked back the tears as the events suddenly came flooding back and slammed into me like a truck. Two hours rolled into mere seconds all at once and I suddenly couldn't breathe. My palms hit the floor and my legs twitched as I shifted senselessly where I sat. I needed in that room. I needed to be by Eric's side.

"Breathe, Ronnie," Four said firmly. "Start from the beginning. After dinner. You went to the Pit, right?"

I nodded. The Pit. Yes. I went with my friends to have a few drinks. Our final test was next week. We were getting nervous about it. We weren't having to go to the sim room unless we really needed to now, which meant we were handling our fears really well. But this was the big test. We were going to be scored on it. It would determine our final rankings.

"Then what happened?"

"I... I snuck out to the roof. I needed a little time to myself. To think."

Mostly true, but not entirely. I did want a little time to myself, yes. But I also knew that if I slipped away from my friends, Eric would come find me just like always. We'd get to be alone together for a while. And I'd get to have his arms around me and his lips on mine again. Get to feel the fire run through my blood. Smell him. Taste him. Claim him as my own as he did the same to me. My Eric.

"Eric found you."

It was a simple statement. Four knew exactly what was going on between us, but he held no judgement for or against it yet. I knew he was concerned for my well-being, but I also knew that he really did believe that I could be what Eric needed in his life.

I nodded again. "We went for a night run."

Eric could tell I was restless. He'd seen it before when my arm was wrapped up. It was a kind of restless not even mind-blowing sex could cure. So he decided to give me something that would work. A run through the Dauntless sector. The streets were supposed to be basically empty at night, save for the guards posted around to keep the peace while the city slept and a few roaming Factionless. It should have been perfectly safe for us to run around in the dark.

Four held something up in front of me. A knife from the training room, covered in blood. We'd grabbed a few before setting out. Just in case. Eric knew I loved the knives. I had learned well how to use them, and not just for throwing. I could fight with them, too. And I was deadly.

"Just in case something did happen. I'd rather have a knife than a gun."

"I know," he replied softly. Four had seen me, too. He'd trained me with them. Shown me how to make them an extension of myself. He knew very well how good I'd gotten. "Keep going."

"Everything was fine. We ran down South Michigan. Nearly all the way to the Erudite tower before turning back. We'd just gotten back into Dauntless territory when we saw them."

"Factionless?"

I nodded.

"How many?"

"Eight."

He frowned. "Did you recognize any of them from the attack a couple weeks back?"

I nodded again. "The leader from last time, and four from that group. The others were new."

This time, he nodded. "And?"

Again, flashes from the fight filled my head. I looked at the doors they had taken Eric through. There was blood smeared across one of them. I stared at the crimson streak. There wasn't any yelling floating out now. I couldn't hear anything anymore. Had they sedated him? Was he okay? Why couldn't I hear anything? What was going on?

"Ronnie. Focus." He used his finger on my chin to move my face back to his. "What happened?"

"They attacked us. We fought back."

They'd come out of nowhere. Just like before. And they were armed again. But not with homemade bats or Molotov cocktails. They had knives of their own. Brass knuckles with sharp little spikes. One had a length of very thick chain wrapped around his fist with a good bit of it hanging down to the ground. We knew the instant they stepped out of the shadows that they'd watched us run by the first time and had waited for us to come back through to ambush us. They'd recognized Eric. Knew he was a leader. Knew that by killing him they would send a brutal message to the rest of Dauntless that they meant business. I, on the other hand, was just collateral damage. Wrong Faction in the wrong place at the wrong time.

There was no way Eric would ever back down to anyone who was a direct threat to himself, Dauntless, or the balance in our system. And he'd especially never back down to someone who was a threat to me. I didn't know why these men were so angry with Dauntless, or what had happened that day he'd went out to settle the dispute that had sprung up. But whatever it was had left them with a thirst for blood over it.

"Why didn't Eric have his gun?"

"We thought we'd be fine. We were on a major street. There's guards all over." I sighed and pulled my knees up to my chest. I wanted to cry, but it wouldn't come out for some reason. "It's my fault, Four. I convinced him to leave the sector. I thought we'd be fine as long as we stayed on Michigan. It's a big street. It was supposed to be safe."

"It's okay, Ronnie." His voice was softer now. He shifted off his feet and sat beside me, his back against the wall like mine was. "It was an honest mistake. One that Max is beyond pissed about, but still. It's not entirely your fault."

"Yes, it is, Four," I whispered, the tears finally starting to flow down my cheeks. "He was trying to make me happy. If we hadn't gone running in the middle of the night, he wouldn't be in there right now. He'd be asleep in his own bed. And me with him. This wouldn't be happening."

"Stop thinking like that," he said firmly. "They caught you between rounds. They planned the attack out. They knew how to catch you when you were vulnerable. This is not your fault, Ronnie."

"Four."

We both looked up at the new voice. It was Doc, coming out of the operating room and wiping his hands on a towel that was quickly going from white to red. Four rose quickly to his feet to meet him in the middle of the hallway.

"He's stable," he said with a sigh. "We got the glass out of his side and the piece of knife blade from his back before they could do much damage. He's going to be fine. Grumpy as all hell for several days, but fine."

Four's shoulders fell low as he sighed in relief. I sniffled and tried to stand up. But now that the adrenaline and shock had worn off, I suddenly felt very wrong. My body started aching sharply in several places and I collapsed back onto the floor. Then I remembered. I hadn't escaped the fight without injury. The Factionless had gotten a few good hit in on me, too.

"Ronnie?" The Doc looked over at me, his eyes filled with concern at first and quickly turning into alarm. "Shit. Four, help me get her into one of the open bays."

Anger started to move across his features as they both reached for me. "Why hasn't she been looked at? She's clearly injured, too."

"It's nothing," I tried to say. But I could feel it. The pain was kicking in.

"Like hell," Doc hissed. "You're bleeding all over the floor."

I looked back as they walked me into an open med bay. There was a small pool of blood where I'd been sitting. I hadn't even noticed. I'd been too concerned with Eric and his condition just like the other doctors and nurses.

"She's got a good gash on her arm," Four said once they'd sat me down. He lifted the back of my shirt, leaning to get a good view. "Several bruises on her back. Couple small cuts. Is that... It looks like links from a chain."

"One of the guys had a big chain," I mumbled, flinching when his fingers came in contact with the strip across my back where I'd taken a blow.

Suddenly, my shirt was being yanked off, and I hissed at the rough movement. I heard a sigh of relief. I wasn't sure if it was Four or Doc, though. My eyes were shut tight at that moment. Fingers prodded my left shoulder, wiping across it and along my collar bone.

"Another cut here," I heard Four say. "Bruising on her ribs."

"Minor enough?" Doc asked an instant before I felt a pinch on my arm were I'd gotten cut in the fight. I opened my eyes and saw him removing a needle and tossing the syringe onto a tray beside the bed. An anesthetic, I realized as I watched him grab a paper package, rip it open, and pull out a curved needle to stitch me up with.

"Yeah. She'll be fine. She's still on the med packs, right?"

"Twice a day."

"Yeah, she'll be fine," Four repeated.

"Someone still should have checked her over," Doc grumbled. "The bleeding is minor and all, but that's not the damn point."

"Eric was the priority, Doc," I said, looking at the Doc before turning my attention to Four. "They focused more on him than me. They wanted him dead. Didn't really care as much about me."

Four frowned. "Well, they won't be a concern anymore. You both saw to that."

My eyes dropped to the floor. Yeah, we took care of them, alright. Eric and I had killed all eight of them right there in the middle of the street. I rationalized it as an act of survival to fight the bile rising in my throat. Which it was. These men weren't innocent. They wanted to kill us. Tried to kill us. So what we did wasn't murder. It was self defense.

"Hey," Four said softly, laying a hand on my shoulder. "You did what you were trained to do. I'm proud of you, Ronnie. You were brave tonight."

I gave him a weak smile before turning my attention back to Doc. He was wrapping gauze around my arm to cover the stitches he'd just given me. It was a little surreal to watch him do something like that to me and not be able to feel it.

"Okay. You're all set now. Try not to rip these out, okay? I'll remove them in a few days or so once the med packs seal up the cut enough that you don't need them anymore."

"Can I see him?"

Doc's face shot up. He blinked and looked at Four. I saw Four nod out of the corner of my eye. Realization settled into Doc's eyes. Now he knew, too. He pressed his lips together in a tight line before sighing.

"Okay. But he's asleep right now. We had to give him a pretty big dose of sedatives just to stop him from fighting us so we could work on him."

I nodded. I already knew that part. But I had to see him. That was my Eric laying there in the next room. He'd suffered a lot of his wounds because he'd been protecting me. He'd been fighting the staff here in the med ward because he didn't know where I was. I had to let him know somehow that I was fine. That I was still with him. That we were both safe. And I knew that the only way I could do that was to go see him right now. Otherwise, they'd have a whole new set of problems when he woke up.


	29. Chapter 29

_**A/N:** Hopefully I didn't confuse anyone too much with the last chapter. And maybe this one clears that up a little. The request was to have Ronnie taking care of Eric while he was sick, but this is what came to me. Anyway, I hope you guys are ready for a few more glimpses into the private world of Eric and Ronnie! :)  
_

_And as always, please R&amp;R because your support keeps me going! :D_

* * *

I wasn't sure how long I slept that night after Doc and Four left. It wasn't an easy thing to do while Eric was laying there in the hospital bed, hooked up to both a blood transfusion IV and a clear med pack IV and looking so awful still covered in dried blood. Honestly, I didn't even know I had fallen asleep until I felt his hand suddenly clamp down around mine and my head jerked up from the bed beside his knee. His eyes were open and he was looking at me with a mixture of emotions. Fear, anger, worry, relief. Love. That one had me scooting closer and pressing my lips to his fingers while I tried to keep from crying.

"You're okay."

Two simple words. But coming out of his mouth as rough and weak as they did, they were more than enough to break open the floodgates. I nodded, kissing him again and letting the tears roll down my cheeks. "Yes. I'm okay. And you will be, too. They had to pump you full of sedatives so they could work on you because you were fighting them so hard, but they got you patched up."

"I didn't know where you were. I don't even remember how we got back here." He frowned, looking down at our hands. "I just remember not hearing your voice anymore. It scared the shit out of me. I thought something had happened to you."

"No," I told him, getting up to kiss him softly on the lips. "No, I was outside the room the whole time. I was kind of in shock, but I was okay for the most part."

He lifted his head off the pillow to press his lips against mine again for a moment, biting back a hard grunt of pain from his effort to move. Then he leaned back with a sigh and looked up at the ceiling. "Fuck. I feel like shit."

I couldn't help the little laugh that bubbled up. "You look like shit."

He narrowed his eyes at me for a moment, but I could see the corner of his mouth turn up just slightly. It was good to see him in fairly decent spirits after what had happened the night before. They must have put some good pain killers in his IV cocktail. I honestly wasn't looking forward to when they wore off. Nine weeks of being around Eric had clued me into his behavior pretty well. He got nasty when he was hurting. And since they were going to try to stick him on bed rest or light duty so his injuries could heal, this was not going to be fun at all.

"You need to get some sleep," I said softly. "Four's coming by in the morning to get your statement for the reports, and I'm pretty sure Max is going to chew both of us out for this."

"Fucking hell," he growled. He shifted around a little and sighed. "Last thing I want to deal with right now."

"Four said Max is pretty pissed about the whole thing."

"I don't doubt it. It's one thing for one of us to get hurt, but when it's an Initiate that gets attacked, he tends to lose it. You should have seen him after your incident at the bridge."

I frowned. I remembered when Gabe told me about how Max had thrown a fit over the accident. How much trouble Marco had gotten into over the whole thing. It made me wonder if he was going to come after Eric for this one. Or me, since it was technically my fault we had left Dauntless territory in the first place.

"What?"

I shook my head, trying to clear the images of an angry Dauntless leader screaming in my face over pulling something so stupid and dangerous that it not only put me in danger, but nearly got one of his leaders killed. "Nothing."

"You're not that good at lying yet, Ronnie," he replied, his eyes narrowing. "Especially not to me."

I sighed and leaned back in my chair, letting go of his hand for the first time in hours to run my fingers down the sides of my face.

"He's going to kick me out," I said softly. "I nearly got you killed, and he's going to kick me out for it."

"No, he won't. You're too high in the rankings, and you've got a lot to offer Dauntless." He shifted around again. "Besides, I'm not going to let him. You're staying here with me where you belong."

I smirked and reached for his hand again, giving it a small squeeze. "Get some sleep, Eric. Before the pain meds wear off too much."

* * *

Word of what happened had gotten around the compound pretty fast. As soon as I walked into the mess hall for breakfast, I found way too many pairs of eyes locked onto me and heard too much whispering and murmuring for me to eat comfortable. Thankfully, though, the details of the story were fuzzy enough not to have people asking if Eric and I were an item. They were more concerned with the Factionless being on our turf than anything else.

"You okay, Ronnie?" Jake asked as soon as I sat down.

"For the most part. Eric got it worse, though."

"I still can't believe Factionless came into Dauntless territory," Tara said. "And they openly attacked you guys when you were out on a run. That's just... scary."

"Speaking of," Alex chimed in. "Why were you even out running at that time of the night? Isn't that against the rules or something?"

"Not if we have someone with us," Darcy answered quickly. "It's not common, but it happens. And we all know how Ronnie likes running. I'm sure Eric thought it would be fine to run the sector because it's pretty well-guarded."

I nodded, silently thanking Darcy for her input. She probably had something to do with keeping the details to a minimum about why I was out with Eric last night. Rumors were bound to fly, though. I knew that all too well. All I could do at this point was hope that it wouldn't get too bad.

"It surprised me, too," I said, picking at my muffin. "But he's not just a leader, you know. He's a trainer. He pays attention to us more than you think he does."

"She's right," Tara agreed. "It's part of his job. How do you think they figure out the rankings? It's not just about who wins a fight or gets through their fear sim the fastest."

Alex nodded. "True. I guess it's easy to forget that part seeing as it's Eric."

"I hear Max had a fit over the whole thing," Gabe said. "Chewed both of you out pretty good."

I frowned and looked down at my food. Max had indeed ripped into us earlier in the med ward. I was still convinced he was going to kick me out of Dauntless when he'd walked in, but after his initial outburst of berating us for being out at night was over, he settled down a bit. He commended me for standing my ground with Eric against our attackers, even put his hand on my shoulder and told me he was glad I was okay. Then he dismissed me, and I could hear him and Eric arguing as soon as the door shut behind me.

"Yeah," I finally answered. "I thought he'd kick me out, but he didn't. He's more concerned about the Factionless coming back for revenge or something."

"They might," Jake replied. "But if the group acted on their own, they might not. It just kind of depends."

"Well, let's just hope they decide that those guys deserved what they got and just leave it be," Gabe said.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Come on, guys," Patrick said, picking up his tray and moving to stand up. "We've still got training to do."

* * *

"I'm not sure if I like you like this."

I dropped the shirt I was holding into the pile by the bathroom door and turned around. Eric was laying in bed, propped up with pillows, watching me as I moved around his apartment. They'd brought him in some time between breakfast and lunch, and from what the Doc had told me, the nurses were glad to have him gone. My hunch about him being super irritable were more than right. He'd nearly punched one of the male attendants when they told him he'd have to be on bed rest for a couple days.

"What do you mean?"

"All of this." He motioned to me and then to the trays of food on the coffee table, then around the apartment in general. "You're acting like some kind of housewife or something."

I smirked and rolled my eyes. "Eric, you're injured. I'm only helping you out a little bit until you get better."

"I think bringing me food is plenty help enough. You don't have to clean up after me. I can do it later."

"Right. Later. And in the meantime, you have trays of food piling up all over the place and your apartment starts to smell like something died in here. I'm not living in that kind of mess."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Excuse you?"

"You heard me," I replied casually, though I could hear a lot of my mother in my own voice. "Do you really think I'm just going to leave you alone for the next few days? Think again, mister. You're not getting out of that bed."

I walked back over to the coffee table and started cleaning up our lunch, piling the trays on top of each other so I could take them back down to the mess hall later. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time.

"And just how are you going to pull that off? You're still an Initiate. You're supposed to be in the dorms."

I grinned at him. "Punishment from Max. At least that's the story everyone else is hearing. Get a leader nearly killed, you gotta help him out until he's cleared for duty."

"Max actually cleared that?"

I nodded. "I went to talk to him after training this morning. He agreed with me that it was the safest option for keeping you in bed while you healed up. Besides..." I went over to the side of the bed and sat down, taking his hand in mine. "Who else is going to risk getting their head bitten off all the time? It's not like you're Mr. Popular around here."

He grunted and pulled his hand from mine to give my shoulder a light shove. Then he sighed and leaned his head back on the pillows behind him. I bit my lip, watching him for a minute as the question rolled around in my head. I finally worked up the nerve to ask it after his eyes had closed.

"Eric?"

"Hmm?"

"What were you arguing about this morning?"

"I'll give you one guess."

I brought my hands to my lap and looked down at the floor. "He's blaming you for it, isn't he?"

"Both of us, really. You for talking me into it, and me for letting you. But he's right, you know. I should have known better. Initiates are supposed to stay in the compound where they're safe until after they're full members. And even if we take them out, we don't leave our own territory. Not at night, anyway."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "We should have just turned back like you wanted us to. But it just felt so good to keep running. To forget everything for a little while."

"Hey." I heard him shift around behind me before his fingers wrapped around my arm. "Look at me, Ronnie." I turned my head and was met with icy blue eyes that were both firm and soft at the same time. "What happened last night was going to happen regardless of if it was just us out running or if it was with a whole group. Those guys had a problem with our decision over who had the right to occupy the building they were trying to claim, and they came after me because I delivered the order for them to leave. None of that was in any way your fault."

"But we wouldn't have run into them if we hadn't went out."

"True. But you'd be climbing the walls just like when you had your hand in that cast. I had to do something."

I sighed and kicked off my boots so I could join him on the bed. I curled up into his side, laying my head on his shoulder and draping my arm across his hips. He brought his hand up from behind me to trail his fingers up and down my upper arm. But after a minute or two, my left arm started to bother me, so I shifted myself to take the pressure off of it, and the bandage that was wrapped around it tugged sharply on one of my stitches.

"Ouch," I hissed, sitting up to unwrap it.

"What?"

"I think I pulled a stitch or something."

I pulled the white gauze off and looked at the dark pink line going down the inside of my forearm. All the little black threads were still intact, but the one that had been grabbed still hurt. I rubbed around it gingerly, trying to ease out the pain.

"I didn't know you'd gotten cut," I head him say before his fingers trailed down beside the mark.

"Yeah. The jerk with the knife got me pretty good. Doc said I'll be fine, though."

"Where else did they get you?"

I could hear the tension in his voice, but I kept my tone easy. I didn't want him getting worked up over all of it. There wasn't any need for it, anyway. I was in much better shape than he was.

"Couple places on my back and up by my shoulder. But they're superficial. Even the bruises from the chain are minor."

He stiffened beside me. "The chain?"

"He paid for it," I said calmly, looking up at his frowning face. "I strangled him with it."

It wasn't like I was proud of the act. I actually didn't like the fact that I had killed someone. But it was all in self-defense, and I'd quickly come to terms with that. Sometimes, there just wasn't going to be any other way. And I was just going to have to accept that truth if I was going to be Dauntless.

"I would tell you that I'm sorry you had to do that," he said as if he could read my thoughts. "But-"

"But that's just how it is sometimes," I finished for him, rewrapping my arm. "I know. We're soldiers. And sometimes we're going to have to take a life to save another."

"Are you sure you're Candor and not Erudite?"

I smirked, looking back up to see the same expression on his face. "My best friend was Erudite. Bound to have a little of her rub off on me after being with her every day for nine weeks."

He shifted again, grunting and grumbling as he did so. "This is going to get old fast."

"You need another med pack." I patted his leg and slid over to the edge of the bed to put my boots back on. "And so do I, actually. I'll run down to the med ward and grab them, and I'll be back in a few minutes."

I heard him sigh behind me. I couldn't help but smirk. He was definitely not used to this kind of treatment, and he couldn't be liking it much. But at least he wasn't arguing with me about it yet. Maybe because he was still hurting. Or maybe because it was me who was taking care of him. I was actually hoping that it was both that was keeping his foul mood at bay. Otherwise he was going to get to see just how stubborn I could get, too.


	30. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Author's Note: Okay, so, after a long dry spell of not being able to push forward with the story, I've decided to scrap chapter 29 and change 28 because I just can't break through the wall and keep going with the same line I've started with it. The biggest problem with it being the time frame because the final exam is quickly approaching and Eric, as a leader and trainer in Dauntless, is probably supposed to be there and I have wanted him there from the very start. So I'm hoping that changing the events in 28 will help me get through this block I've been battling with for months now so that I can finish the story and feel better about it.

I've also been thinking of sticking it up on Wattpad, but if/when I do, I'll be going through it and editing it because that's something that's been itching at me for a very long time now because I still feel that so much of it has been rushed and there's a ton of little things I really want to change and add in to fill everything out with.

Oh! Just a note, before people start getting too antsy, I'm currently in the process of moving so I'm not going to have a ton of time to work on things until after I get settled in and get a new daily routine going that allows me to be able to sit down and write. But I promise I will try to do a little bit of work when I get the time and energy to.

Also, I just noticed I had actually gotten a message on this blog that tumblr didn't alert me to (thanks, tumblr, for dropping the ball on that one again) so instead of just answering the message in private I'll go ahead and make a mini announcement about it. **_I am going to use my tumblr blog for my updates on my stories should there be any to post._** It's a little tedious to use to do so (at least for me because I'm not always signed into and I always have a tumblr tab open on my laptop so that's just quicker for me to get to) and that's basically what I had originally made the blog for anyway, so that's what I'll be doing.

Big shout out to everyone who's stuck with me so far and are still waiting for more Eric and Ronnie. I'm sorry to have kept everyone waiting, especially when I started out so enthusiastic with this story. You guys are so awesome.

XOXOXO,  
Dee


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